971 Commonwealth Ave #3
Sundays 8PM
(Meeting moderator)
Welcome to the Sunday 8PM closed mix meeting of Sex Addicts Anonymous. My name is ____ and I will be your facilitator this evening.
This meeting has a hybrid format, meaning that it is both in-person and virtual on zoom. If you are on zoom, please change your name to your first name and last initial. If you are able, please keep your video on at all times, keep your microphone muted when not speaking, and ensure that you are in a private environment to maintain anonymity.
This meeting is open only to those who are seeking to stop addictive sexual behavior. There is no other requirement. For the sake of those attending, please feel free to leave at this time if this does not apply to you.
Now let's take a moment of silence to meditate and invite God to our meeting. We'll follow that with the Serenity Prayer.
(Meeting moderator)
God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.
(Volunteer)
Sex Addicts Anonymous is a fellowship of men and women who share their experience, strength and hope with each other so they may overcome their sexual addiction and help others recover from sexual addiction and dependency. Membership is open to all who share a desire to stop addictive sexual behavior. There is no other requirement. Our common goals are to become sexually healthy and to help other sex addicts achieve freedom from compulsive sexual behavior. SAA is supported through voluntary contributions from members. We are not affiliated with any other twelve-step programs, nor are we a part of any other organization. We do not support, endorse, or oppose outside causes or issues. Sex Addicts Anonymous is a spiritual program based on the principles and traditions of Alcoholics Anonymous. We are grateful to A.A. for this gift which makes our recovery possible.
(Volunteer)
Rarely have we seen a person fail who has thoroughly followed our path. Those who do not recover are people who cannot or will not completely give themselves to this simple program. They cannot develop a manner of living which demands rigorous honesty. There are those, too, who suffer from serious emotional and mental disorders, but many of them do recover if they have the capacity to be honest.
Our stories disclose in a general way what we used to be like, what happened, and what we are like now. If you have decided you want what we have and are willing to go to any length to get it, then you are ready to take certain steps.
At some of these we balked. We thought we could find an easier, softer way. But, we could not. With all the earnestness at our command, we beg of you to be fearless and thorough from the very start. Some of us have tried to hold on to our old ideas and the result was nil until we let go absolutely.
Remember that we deal with sexual addiction – cunning, baffling, powerful! Without help it is too much for us. But there is one who has all power – that one is God. May you find God now!
Half measures availed us nothing. We stood at the turning point. We asked God’s protection and care with complete abandon.
Here are the steps we took, which are suggested as a program of recovery.
(Volunteer)
1. We admitted we were powerless over addictive sexual behavior – that our lives had become unmanageable.
2. Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.
3. Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood God.
4. Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.
5. Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.
6. Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.
7. Humbly asked God to remove our shortcomings.
8. Made a list of all persons we had harmed and became willing to make amends to them all.
9. Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.
10. Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it.
11. Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God, as we understood God, praying only for knowledge of God’s will for us and the power to carry that out.
12. Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to other sex addicts and to practice these principles in our lives.
Many of us exclaimed, “What an order! I can’t go through with it.” Do not be discouraged. No one among us has been able to maintain anything like perfect adherence to these principles. We are not saints. The point is that we are willing to grow along spiritual lines. The principles we have set down are guides to progress. We claim spiritual progress rather than spiritual perfection. Our personal adventures before and after make clear three pertinent ideas:
(1) That we were sexually addicted and could not manage our lives.
(2) That probably no human power could have relieved our addiction.
(3) That God could and would if God were sought.
(Volunteer)
Our goal when entering the SAA Program is abstinence from one or more specific sexual behaviors. But unlike programs for recovering alcoholics or drug addicts, Sex Addicts Anonymous does not have a universal definition of abstinence. Most of us have no desire to stop being sexual altogether. It is not sex in and of itself that causes us problems, but the addiction to certain sexual behaviors. In SAA we will be better able to determine what behavior is addictive and what is healthy. However, the fellowship does not dictate to its members what is and isn’t addictive sexual behavior. Instead we have found that it is necessary for each member to define his or her own abstinence.
Since different addicts suffer from different behaviors, and since our sexuality is experienced in so many different ways, it is necessary that SAA members define for themselves, with the help of their sponsors or others in recovery, which of their sexual behaviors they consider to be “acting out”.
This can be a difficult challenge. If we are too lenient with ourselves, we might not get sober. If we are too strict, we might restrict ourselves from healthy behaviors that we have no need to give up, and an inability to meet our high standards could set us up for relapse. We need the help of other recovering sex addicts, and the reliance on a Power greater than ourselves, to find the right balance between these two extremes.
Our program acknowledges each individual’s dignity and right to choose his or her own concept of healthy sexuality. We have learned that our ideas of what is healthy and what is addictive evolve with experience. In time, we are able to define our individual abstinence with honesty, fairness and gentleness. This process is a valuable exercise in our recovery. It requires us to carefully examine all of our sexual behaviors, decide which ones are healthy or addictive, and note those cases where we’re not sure. It is a way of taking stock of our sexuality that teaches us a lot about ourselves and our behavior.
(Meeting moderator)
SAA meetings around the world give out chips to celebrate significant milestones of sobriety. We have chosen to celebrate increments of 1 day, 1,2,3,6, & 9 months using sobriety "chips". Please keep in mind that you should only have a max of 1 of each chip physically but you can be recognized for the same milestone again and again without receiving a new physicial chip.
Please indicate which color chip you would like to be recognized for today. If a milestone is not listed, please share with us any milestones you are celebrating!
9 months - Gold Chip
6 months - Blue Chip
3 months - Green Chip
2 months - Yellow Chip
1 month - Red Chip
1 day chip - White Chip or "Recommitment Chip"
(Meeting moderator)
To communicate any changes or disruptions to the meeting schedule, we have created a google calendar. If you would like to be invited to receive updates or changes to our meetings, please send an email to symphonychurchsaa@gmail.com so we can add you to our e-mail list.
(Meeting moderator)
To facilitate program fellowship and support outside of the meetings, we have begun a program call list that will be available upon request. If you would like to be added, please indicate this with your phone number in the chat along with your first name, last initial, your phone number, and if you would like to be contacted via text first and our secretary will add it into the database. If you would like a copy of this list, please e-mail symphonychurchsaa@gmail.com and we will give you access. We also have a physical list you can look at in person.
In addition, we have begun a sponsorship list that will be available upon request. A sponsor is a person in the fellowship who acts as a guide to working the program of SAA – a fellow addict to rely upon for support. If you are an available sponsor, please indicate this with your phone number in the chat along with your first name, last initial, your phone number and our secretary will add it into the database. If you would like a copy of this list, please e-mail symphonychurchsaa@gmail.com and we will give you access. We also have a physical list you can look at in person.
You can reach out to the following email addresses from SAA to connect with a sponsor:
Identify as a man: men4saa@saa-recovery.org
Identify as a woman: grace@saa-women.org
Nonbinary/Transgender: lgbt@saa-recovery.org
(Meeting moderator)
Our Seventh Tradition holds that SAA ought to be fully self-supporting, declining outside contributions. We have a wide variety of literature for you to borrow or read - please feel free to take a pamphlet or borrow a copy of the green book. We also have a recurring monthly zoom subscription. If you do decide to borrow something from our literature collection or simply wish to support this meeting, please consider donating. We take Cash or Venmo (@david-lu-21). We currently have $98.49 in the account and have agreed as a group to maintain a cash reserve of $100. If you would like to see our income and expenses, please e-mail us or visit https://bit.ly/symphony-saa-income-expenses-tracker
Our next business meeting will be on Sunday, April 7th, 2024. Please send us an e-mail with any topics you'd like to discuss at the meeting.
Anyone have any SAA-related announcements?
Service positions open - please e-mail symphonychurchsaa@gmail.com if interested:
Rotating Quarterly (January to April)
Secretary - In charge of writing down information for business meeting, meeting call list requests.
Literature Chair - In charge of maintaining literature & chips inventory and informing group of requirements for new inventory.
Meeting Chair - In charge of moderating meetings. Minimum 2x/month.
Sponsorship coordinator - In charge of maintaining sponsorship list & all requests. In charge of answering questions about sponsorship to new members.
(Meeting moderator)
Now we will proceed with introductions. If you are a newcomer, feel free to identify yourself. This is to welcome you and to acknowledge the courage it took to get here. We generally recommend you come to at least 6 meetings before committing to the SAA program.
Template:
Hi, my name is ______ and I am ________.
(Optional) My inner circle behaviors are ___________.
Today, I feel physically _______________.
Today, I feel emotionally _______________.
Today, I feel spiritually _______________.
Step Two
Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.
When we accept that our way doesn't work, Step Two opens the door to a new way that does. In the First Step, we admitted that our addiction was going to destroy us if we did not stop and that we could not stop on our own. We discovered that our addiction was a problem too big for us to solve by ourselves. Without some Power greater than ourselves to assist us, our situation is hopeless. In the Second Step we are presented with the possibility that this Power can restore us to a basic sanity and well-being.
Step Two offers hope that sanity is possible, and at the same time it implies that, in our addiction, we were insane. Our insanity manifested in many ways. We would often put our addiction first and everything else second. We may have placed ourselves in dangerous situations or taken terrible risks. And the more we denied our addiction and its consequences, the less we were in touch with reality. To be restored to sanity is to rediscover the spiritual nature we have always had but which was hidden by the insanity of our disease.
Belief in a Higher Power can be difficult for many of us in SM who come to the program with a faith that was damaged in one way or another, or those of us who never had any spiritual beliefs at all. Some of us came from strict, judgmental religious backgrounds that reinforced our fear and shame. Some of us attempted to find refuge from our addiction in religion. Yet after making great commitments and efforts in our religious practice, we found little lasting relief from our disease. Others never took up a religion, or tried a few and found them unsatisfactory. Many of us didn't believe in God, or were uncertain as to what spiritual beliefs we were willing to accept, if any. Whether we are atheists, agnostics, or those with strong religious convictions, we may find ourselves having reservations about the spirituality needed to work Step Two.
We may be so used to self-reliance as the only way of functioning in the world, that we resist the notion of any Power greater than ourselves. We can start to open ourselves to this idea by considering the forces that are clearly more powerful than we are, such as nature, society, or even our addiction. When we recognize that our own power is limited, we can more readily acknowledge the possibility of a Higher Power.
For some of us, almost everything seemed more powerful than we were, but in a negative way-oppressing us, and preventing us from being happy or free. In contrast to this negative belief, working the Second Step allows us to accept the possibility of a Power that can free us from the bondage of our disease and restore us to a life of sanity and fulfillment.
To work this step, we only need to be open-minded enough to try something new. For most of us, coming to believe is a gradual process. We don't need to believe in any particular concept of a Higher Power in order to begin. We learn from others what works and doesn't work for them. We listen, and we try out new approaches. If we are teachable, we can discover the stirrings of hope within us and come to a belief in the possibility of recovery from our sexual addiction.
For many of us, this starts with simply coming to meetings. We experience the group as a Power greater than ourselves that cares. The example of those who are living in recovery, free of their sexually addictive behaviors, shows us the power of the program. We can rely on the love and support of our friends in the group. We develop a willingness to try some of the group's suggestions, even those outside of our usual comfort zone, when we observe the practical effects of these ideas in action. From this simple beginning, belief in a Higher Power can grow.
In time, most of us also come to believe in a spiritual Power that transcends our human willpower and thinking, and that this Power can return us to a condition of serenity and sanity. The Steps use the word "God" to indicate this Power. Nevertheless, the program is not aligned with any religion, nor do we adhere to any particular beliefs concerning the word "God,'' leaving this matter up to the understanding of each member. We are free to use a different word in our spiritual practice, if that's what works for us. What is important is that we rely on a spiritual reality, or Higher Power, rather than on words. In essence, our shared experience of this Power is one of loving and caring. We don't have to be religious to accept this idea, or to ask this loving Power to help us in our recovery.
One of the aspects of coming to believe in a Higher Power is finding out what spiritual concepts make sense to us. We need to be willing to set aside old ideas and prejudices, try new solutions to old problems, and listen to the spiritual experiences and ideas of others in the fellowship. What works for others may not be an exact fit for us. But if we are patient and open-minded, we will discover an understanding of a Higher Power that is unique to us, and that we are comfortable with. Ultimately, the specifics of our belief are not as important as faith. We can build our spirituality on the faith that our Higher Power can relieve us of our addiction.
Some of us have found it helpful to explore our past beliefs concerning God or religion, in order to gain clarity about old ideas and assumptions that may be blocking us now. Sharing these thoughts with our sponsor or others in recovery may help us to understand our past spiritual beliefs and to be open to new ones that are healthier for us.
Our concepts of a Higher Power may change and evolve over time. As we grow in recovery, our spiritual awareness grows. And in time we discover that our faith grows not so much from a set of abstract beliefs, but from daily practical experiences of recovery and healing, as observed in others and in ourselves. We can cultivate this awareness by drawing near to those members who demonstrate significant recovery from those behaviors we've struggled with the most, and whose practical faith attracts us.
The key to Step Two is not just believing in a Higher Power, but believing that this Power can and will restore us to sanity. Many of us thought that recovery might work for others, but not for us. We thought that our problems were different, that our situation was unique. We had become so used to defeat and despair that we lost touch with hope. In early recovery, many of us had our first experience of hope through the group. In the words of other members, and in their eyes, we saw that recovery was possible. All we needed to do was concede that if it was possible for others, it was possible for us too.
If we find it difficult to believe, we can act "as if' we believe. The willingness to act "as if' helps us to make a commitment to recovery, despite any doubts we may have. By committing to recovery, we give ourselves time to let the program work in our lives, with our understanding growing gradually along with us. We find that "acting as if" is more than just wishful thinking. In the process, we discover that a willingness to accept new ways of behavior leads to a clearer understanding of who we are and how spiritual principles work.
When we have come to believe that we can be restored to sanity, we have stepped out of the problem and become aware of the solution. Without needing to completely understand our Higher Power, we can accept and use this Power in order to find freedom from our addiction. Our belief that recovery is possible gives us the strength to take action. We are ready for Step Three.
(Meeting moderator, until 8:55PM)
The meeting is now open for sharing. You can share about the reading, a specific topic or just get current.
To keep the meeting safe, we do not make direct comments about another person's share or give advice.
Please avoid mentioning the name of a Book, Movie, Treatment Center, Website or the Like in your share because this can be viewed by some as "promotion” and can be a trigger for some. Please also avoid sexually explicit descriptions or comments that could be a trigger. If you feel triggered, please feel free to say a prayer, step out of the room or meeting temporarily, and come back when you feel ready.
It is also safe to speak in “I” statements, as opposed to “you” statements. Feel free to share more specific information after the Unity Prayer when Fellowship begins. It is appropriate to reference the reading.
We ask that any Newcomer that would like to share be given the opportunity. Our focus is making you feel welcome and acknowledge the courage it took getting here. We will reserve some time for Questions and Answers at the end of the meeting.
(optional) Please keep your shares to 3 minutes maximum. If you did not get a chance to share, you may share at the end during fellowship.
I will help moderate.
Who would like to keep time?
Who would like to begin?
(Meeting moderator)
As a gentle reminder for all of us, anonymity is the spiritual foundation of all our traditions. What you heard was spoken in confidence and should be treated as confidential. Please keep the things you heard here in the confines of your mind. Carry no gossip and always remember to place principles before personalities.
(Volunteer)
This is how recovery has been for us. Each of us has taken steps of courage and leaps of faith. Each of us has contributed, not only to our own recovery, but to the recovery of other suffering sex addicts as well. We have contributed by showing up at meetings and by sharing our experience, strength, and hope. We have listened to our fellow addicts and supported them in their recovery journey. Like the first members of our fellowship, we continue to remain sexually sober by helping our fellow addict stay sober. Our prayer is that every sex addict who seeks recovery will have the opportunity to find it. And keep coming back.
(Volunteer)
The steps are the spiritual solution to our addiction - leading not only to a life of abstinence from our addictive sexual behaviors, but to a fulfilling life of service to our brothers and sisters in recovery and beyond. The spiritual awakening described in Step Twelve puts us on the path of service and connects us with our Higher Power, our fellow addicts, and our world in ways we had never dreamed possible. This awakening is the foundation of a responsible and joyful existence as we seek and find our Higher Power's will for us-both in our individual lives and in the life of our fellowship. And for this priceless gift of recovery, so astonishingly simple, so freely available, we are humbly grateful. We invite all suffering sex addicts, inside and outside the rooms of SAA, to join with us in accepting this gift.
(Volunteer)
Through a renewed Relationship with God, the healing force of recovery will take hold in our hearts. By giving ourselves over to God and working our program, our lives will become manageable and we will be restored to sanity. We will receive the inner strength and support needed to face our anxieties and fears, and to deal with the painful feelings that feed our addiction.
Relations with Others will improve as we learn to respect our boundaries and allow others freedom to be themselves. Reaching out in trust and connecting with others will come easier, dispelling our sense of isolation and loneliness. Degrading fantasies and obsessive sexual thinking will diminish.
Relating to Ourselves, self absorption will give way to self-discovery; secrecy to honesty; feelings of unworthiness to dignity; and shame to grace. A restored integrity will guide our behavior. We will feel more alive and regain a sense of happiness. We will hear ourselves laugh again and rediscover play. We will embrace change and will grow.
A Spiritual Awakening will free us from the tyranny of our addiction. An awareness of being guided by a Higher Power and supported by caring friends will sustain us. Regret for the past and worry for the future will give way to living for today. We will open ourselves to the amazing possibilities of a life worth living. Our life.
Are these extravagant promises?
(Altogether) WE THINK NOT!
We have seen them fulfilled.
They are ours, if we want them and work for them.
(Meeting moderator)
I put my hand in yours and together we can do what we could never do alone.
No longer is there a sense of hopelessness.
No longer must we each depend upon our own unsteady willpower.
We are all together now, reaching out our hands for a power and strength greater than ours;
And as we join hands, we find love and understanding beyond our wildest dreams.
(Meeting moderator)
As a gentle reminder for all of us, anonymity is the spiritual foundation of all our traditions. What you heard was spoken in confidence and should be treated as confidential. Please keep the things you heard here in the confines of your mind. Carry no gossip and always remember to place principles before personalities.
(Volunteer)
This is how recovery has been for us. Each of us has taken steps of courage and leaps of faith. Each of us has contributed, not only to our own recovery, but to the recovery of other suffering sex addicts as well. We have contributed by showing up at meetings and by sharing our experience, strength, and hope. We have listened to our fellow addicts and supported them in their recovery journey. Like the first members of our fellowship, we continue to remain sexually sober by helping our fellow addict stay sober. Our prayer is that every sex addict who seeks recovery will have the opportunity to find it. And keep coming back.
(Volunteer)
The steps are the spiritual solution to our addiction - leading not only to a life of abstinence from our addictive sexual behaviors, but to a fulfilling life of service to our brothers and sisters in recovery and beyond. The spiritual awakening described in Step Twelve puts us on the path of service and connects us with our Higher Power, our fellow addicts, and our world in ways we had never dreamed possible. This awakening is the foundation of a responsible and joyful existence as we seek and find our Higher Power's will for us-both in our individual lives and in the life of our fellowship. And for this priceless gift of recovery, so astonishingly simple, so freely available, we are humbly grateful. We invite all suffering sex addicts, inside and outside the rooms of SAA, to join with us in accepting this gift.
(Volunteer)
Through a renewed Relationship with God, the healing force of recovery will take hold in our hearts. By giving ourselves over to God and working our program, our lives will become manageable and we will be restored to sanity. We will receive the inner strength and support needed to face our anxieties and fears, and to deal with the painful feelings that feed our addiction.
Relations with Others will improve as we learn to respect our boundaries and allow others freedom to be themselves. Reaching out in trust and connecting with others will come easier, dispelling our sense of isolation and loneliness. Degrading fantasies and obsessive sexual thinking will diminish.
Relating to Ourselves, self absorption will give way to self-discovery; secrecy to honesty; feelings of unworthiness to dignity; and shame to grace. A restored integrity will guide our behavior. We will feel more alive and regain a sense of happiness. We will hear ourselves laugh again and rediscover play. We will embrace change and will grow.
A Spiritual Awakening will free us from the tyranny of our addiction. An awareness of being guided by a Higher Power and supported by caring friends will sustain us. Regret for the past and worry for the future will give way to living for today. We will open ourselves to the amazing possibilities of a life worth living. Our life.
Are these extravagant promises?
(Altogether) WE THINK NOT!
We have seen them fulfilled.
They are ours, if we want them and work for them.
(Meeting moderator)
I put my hand in yours and together we can do what we could never do alone.
No longer is there a sense of hopelessness.
No longer must we each depend upon our own unsteady willpower.
We are all together now, reaching out our hands for a power and strength greater than ours;
And as we join hands, we find love and understanding beyond our wildest dreams.
(Meeting moderator)
Thank you for attending our meeting today! Now it is time for fellowship.
(optional) Did anyone who did not get a chance to share yet today like to share?
(optional) Feel free to stick around to chat, ask questions, pass around phone numbers, or get a sponsor.