Jenkins

As you can probably guess from the title, we at Scoopmungus would like to introduce you to one of our biggest inspirations and mascot: Jenkins.

Although one might think of a mascot as a guy in a costume, Jenkins is real. Therefore, this proves that he is superior above all else and that he is basically a scoopy pope. We look up to Jenkins, we learn from Jenkins and a significant portion our wages go to Jenkins*. One may think that Jenkins is just your average squirrel but this is a grave misconception. His brain is filled with knowledge and wisdom like no other, his heart filled with kindness and sympathy and his soul as pure as the driven snow.

*sike we don't make money we're broke.

We celebrate his feast day on the 12th of March. This is because on this day, our ancestors found him roaming the wilderness. He was hungry, thirsty and very ill. They managed to nurse him back to health and as a thank you, he lavished upon them: gold, silver, diamonds, emeralds and cheese.

This was meant to be a lesson to us all: What goes around, comes around.

These events were chiselled onto a plaque in front of the first temple ever built for Jenkins. It lies opposite Joe Mama's House. It is said that whoever manages to find this temple shall see the true form of good. Many left to find it, but only some returned. Those who returned were questioned about what they saw but they had been sworn to secrecy.

Jenkins has helped our civilisation become what it is today through many ways. He is a significant anti-maths figure and has preached tirelessly about the dangers of the maths demons and the basis of anti-maths. Thanks to him, many conversions are made everyday for people who want to change from pro-maths to anti-maths.

Click here if you too wish to convert

We at Scoopmungus make sure that Jenkins has whatever it is that he needs. We care for him, feed him and help spread his word. He has enlightened and educated us and therefore he deserves everything.

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