Della May d/o Jack Cross & Nina Archibald.
FIRST MEMORIES
Dell always cherished her memories of growing up in Vancouver, surrounded by a warm supportive family.
Nina taught her daughters the jingle:
“It is better to burp and bear the shame
Than not to burp and bear the pain.”
On Christmas Eve they would lie awake, listening to the rustling of wrapping paper. Their parents usually wouldn’t go shopping until that evening, so it was sometimes 2 am by the time they went to sleep. Then Dell and Norm would sneak out to possess their stockings. They would usually find a Mandarin Orange, a few nuts and candies, and a toy worth 10 or 15 cents.
Dell was born four months after her uncle Robert Cross drowned near Kitsilano beach. She probably helped to fill something of the void left in her grandmother Agnes’ life. Though she isn't sure, Dell thinks that she may have slept over at the Cross household sometimes. The family told stories of Agnes giving her a spoonful of gin to put her to sleep. (Which sounds strange because Agnes purportedly didn't drink, Ben did.) Agnes was fascinated by movies, and sometimes took Dell with her.
Norm, two years younger, noticed she was treated and felt unsure of her standing with Agnes. Her other grandmother (Jenny Archibald) attempted to even things up by giving special attention to Norm.
SCHOOL
Dell entered Lord Kitchenor Elementary School at the start of grade two. She doesn’t remember much of the previous year, when she still lived on 16th, except that she had mispronounced her teacher’s name (Miss Euter) as Miss Shooter. She enjoyed the sports – basketball, baseball, and badminton – at her new school, but hated the more academic subjects. Asked to point out China on the map, she boldly marched up to the wall and made a sweeping motion with her arm, “There it is.” Perhaps her gambit succeeded, but Dell couldn’t disguise her bad spelling.
She met Joan MacMillan, who became her best friend, after being sent out into the hallway for making too many errors. The two girls went everywhere – to church, to the movies - together. Dell especially remembers their picnics down at Kitsilano beach. Both Joan and her mother were good cooks and she would always have these neatly packed lunch with a meat sandwich, salad, fruit and dessert. Dell would usually have a peanut butter sandwich that she threw together herself. Jack would often give the girls a ride home when he was returning from work.
Their grandfather Ben Cross had his first encounter with roller skates around this time. I have heard two slightly different versions of the story. Dell claims that Jack had hired him to paint their new house, when Ben noticed her roller skates. She was pleased to let her grandfather try them out. Only he had never been on skates before and was soon hurtling down the hill outside their house without knowing how to stop! He hit a low fence at the bottom of the hill, and crashed into the garbage heap on the other side. Dell heard his laughter before was able to find out that he wasn’t hurt. She says Ben was like that: a “good sport” who could laugh at his own expense. Norm’s version is that she took the roller skates over to her grandparents. Ben was wearing his Sunday best – a pin striped suit – but decided to try the skates out anyway.
PUTTING YOURSELF FORWARD
Nina had taught Dell to boldly step forward whenever called upon. This had proved embarrassing for her parents the day Jack decided to take his family to a fancy club for dinner. Dell had been playing ball that day, but there hadn’t been time to change. This was suddenly highlighted when the master of ceremonies asked a young girl to come forward. As Dell responded, Nina and Jack found themselves thinking, “is this my daughter?” Her hair was messy, clothes dirty and one sock fell down to the top of her shoe. Dell drew a name out of a hat, and was given a box of chocolates as a reward.
Another time, Dell’s self assurance came to her rescue. She was one of the 80 or 108 (she can’t remember the exact number) contestants in a talent show. A teacher had pushed her forward after Dell missed her cue. Dell stumbled and fell to the floor. Then she looked out at the audience, cradled her chin in her hands and smiled. Only then did she begin singing. Dell was awarded 8th place, though the judge said this was more from her personality than her singing voice.
Dell did regret volunteering to introduce a candidate for the school election. She no sooner reached the front than she couldn’t remember the girl’s name. She remembers praying, “God please let the floor swallow me up.”
THE BICYCLE
Dell wanted a bike: most of her friends had one, but her parents refused. Nina had heard of a horrible bicycle accident, and didn’t want her daughter involved in one. One of the boys at school offered to let Dell borrow his. She loved whizzing down the streets, but ended up in the ditch after giving Joan MacMillan a ride on the handlebars. The bicycle was all bent and Dell didn’t know what to do! Her 15 cent weekly allowance wasn’t enough to buy him a new bike! She finally just thanked the boy and gave him back his bicycle. Though his eyes were open with shock, he didn’t say anything. Dell doesn’t know what he told his parents. Her own chance to get a bike came clothed with a choice. Her father said, "Your mother needs a new coat, we can't afford to buy both a coat and a bicycle. I'll leave it up to you to decide which we should get." Dell she knew that her mother would get that coat, so she asked for the bicycle. That was the only time in her life that Jack struck her!
BOYS
She started wearing rouge at the age of 12, though Nina threw out any she found around the house. Dell accepted this as her mother’s right, but bought more whenever the opportunity. Two years later she was allowed to have a party. All the girls were sitting in boy’s laps when her parents returned home. Nina and Jack went into the kitchen. Joan and Dell followed, expected to get an earful. Instead, as when were just around the corner, they heard one of her parents say “wasn’t it cute the way all the girls were sitting in boy’s laps.” Joan immediately returned to the lap she had been sitting in. Dell describes these early encounters with boys as innocent. They sometimes played spin the bottle, and she once rushed to the bathroom to wash her lips after having to kiss a boy she didn’t like.
She was also getting interested in boys. After a hundred-foot-diving-board was erected for the Hawaiian divers visiting town, Dell and a friend climbed up to have a look. A group of boys teasingly blocked their descent and said the only way down was to jump. So they did. One of Dell’s admirers looked like the movie star George Raft.
Nina didn’t like him, but in face of determined opposition opted to let her mother decide. Thus Jenny, the 67 year old Archibald family matriarch, was waiting for “George” on the night he called to take Dell to the movies. He was subjected to a five-hour interrogation, at the end of which Jenny slyly gave her permission. The movie, however, had ended hours before and “George” never asked again. (Meeting George decades later, Dell realised that he was “a sleeze”.)
A BOYFRIEND
Roy was different. He was slender, 5’ 9”, with a handsome face and dark curly hair. His relationship with Dell started off with an argument. They had both been walking home from McGee High School, when Roy asked to read an essay of hers. He almost immediately started laughing at the way she used words out of context! Dell responded by punching him in the eye. That night Roy and a friend drove up to her house, and honked the horn. As she walked down to them, Dell noticed that Roy’s eye seemed to be blackened. She apologised profusely for her temper. Roy said nothing. At that moment the truck edged a little forward, revealing that Roy’s “black eye” was only a shadow. Their relationship would continue to be explosive.
Roy cleverly told one boy, who had asked Dell out to a dance, that she was Chinese. Her deep brown eyes are offset by diminutive lids - which made this claim believable. The boy stayed away from her for the rest of the evening. Dell eventually found out the reason, but was not impressed.
She did join Roy and some of his friends for an excursion up Burrard Inlet to Deep Cove. They went to a cabin where most of the couples started drinking and getting into heavy petting. Dell felt uncomfortable, and took off into the woods. Roy found her there later and took her home. Dell decided she didn’t like his friends, but became his “girlfriend”.
Dell got to know the Hales family very well. She was amazed at how well Nellie could cook, and learned much of that art from her future mother-in-law. She also joined them at Gibson’s Landing during their 1936 vacation. Betty met her down at the docks, and the two were walking back to their cabin when Betty noticed a bull approaching. Dell was wearing a red blouse! Betty yelled “Run for it!” They dashed for the fence, where Dell got hung up on the barbed wire. It was only then that she realised the “bull” was really just a cow.
DELL WORKS FOR HER FATHER
Dell began working for Dominion Machinery during 1936. Initially she just cleaned, and then Jack started dictating letters to her. He spoke slowly, would periodically pause, and then after a long interval ask “what was I saying again?” Dell had only taken a year of typing, but she had no could easily have pounded the letters out as he talked. She chiefly remembers her father arriving at work late in the morning, and talking to customers throughout the day.
They sometimes went to lunch at the cafeteria on Granville Island. An older couple ran it when Dell started going there. (Her uncle, Bill Cross, told her they were illegally selling beer on the side.) Mrs. MacDonald and her daughter Charlotte, who took it over, made very good pies.
Dell once mistakenly sent a huge machinery order to Mayo Logging's administrative office in Duncan, on Vancouver Island. All shipments to Mayo were supposed to go to Paul D, but Dell doesn’t remember being told that. Her father was enraged when he discovered the error. "Do you realize what this cost me? You're fired!" her father shouted.
"You can' t fire me, I quit!" Dell shot back.
Then she went home, as usual, to make his lunch. Dell deliberately made his most unfavorite food: macaroni and cheese. As a further gesture of defiance, she served it in the dining room – normally reserved for special occasions. They ate in silence, brooding over what had transpired.
"Are you coming back to work after lunch?” Jack suddenly asked.
"No!” she snapped
"You're too chicken."
"I'm not scared of anything."
"Then come back to work", he insisted, and she did.
1938 OCCUPATION OF VANCOUVER'S THE POST OFFICE
Though the economic situation was improving, by May 1938 Vancouver held 1,600 unemployed men from outside of BC. The Federal government had given them reforestation work over the winter, but Duff Pattullo wanted them out and offered free transport back to the prairies. The situation was exasperated on May 10th – when relief was cut off and the mayor of Vancouver banned begging. The unemployed occupied the city Post Office, Art Gallery and Hotel Georgia. Most were persuaded to leave. A militant remnant remained in the Post Office. As this was a Federal building, Ottawa sent the RCMP orders to clear them out. The resulting battle of June 19th began with a tear gas barrage. Five policemen and 34 protesters were wounded as the running battle that erupted through Granville and Hastings streets. Twenty-two men were arrested. Many onlookers were shocked to see decapitated female figures prone on the street, though it later turned out that they were only mannequins cast from Woodwards’ front windows.
The following day, Premier Thomas Dufferin Pattullo held court in the Vancouver. His strongest words were reserved for the protest leaders, “You were very ill advised to do what you did.” He dismissed CCF suggestions of giving temporary aid to the protestors: “obviously you are out to criticize the government.” Similar suggestions by the Anglican, Baptist and Methodist churches evoked the response that “the church is showing a little too much sympathy.”
Much of Vancouver was sympathetic to the squatters. The CCF declared the crackdown “a ghastly, inhuman, brutal course of action.” Cliff and Nellie Hales undoubtedly agreed, and Betty later told me about the “poor unemployed men” who had been driven from the Post Office.
Dell sometimes played with some Swedish kids who were affected. They lived down the street, and she often roller-skated in their basement. She saw the same bone being put in the soup pot day after day. Their parents, Ingmar and Rita, were on relief, but the money was so scarce that it was a treat when they added an extra potato or carrot to the pot. Ingmar’s brother was one of the protestors who occupied the Post Office. After he was arrested as a communist, Ingmar and Rita disappeared. Dell thinks they went back to Sweden. She never mentioned this to her parents. They didn’t want her to be concerned with things like that.
ROYAL VISIT IN 1939
Dell was among those who had gathered on Broadway when the Royal family visited on May 29th, 1939. King George VI, Queen Elizabeth, Pricness Elizabeth, Princess Margaret and Prime Minister MacKenzie King passed in an open touring car. That wasn’t nearly as exciting as her chance encounter with Shirley Temple, three years earlier. The child actress had just been walking out of the Hotel Vancouver’s door when Dell saw her. Temple flashed one of her famous smiles, and was gone. Dell almost fainted.
MARRIAGE
Roy Hales broke off his engagement to Dell in 1941. He wrote her about a girl named Jane. Jack Cross found his daughter crying in her room later that night. Reading the letter, he told Dell, “forget him, he’s not worth it.” Dell agreed, and sent Roy back his ring.
Later, when he was a soldier on furlough, proposed again, and Dell agreed.
They were married in Vancouver, on August 19,1942. She would have preferred a small ceremony, but her father insisted that he would either pay for a big wedding or none at all. A hundred people, mostly friends of bride’s family like Leverett Hatt and Doll Sims, crowded into the Cross home for the reception. Dell didn’t even know some of the guests. Roy and Dell then took a union steamship to Buccaneer Bay for their honeymoon.
FIRST HOUSES
After that they rented a room at 1205 West 14th avenue for $25 a week. Dell continued to work in Dominion machinery until she was 8 months pregnant. Then she and Roy bought a house close to 33rd and Dunbar. My brother Steven was born on June 13th, 1943. While Dell was in the hospital, Roy and an army buddy raided a neighbourhood park for enough roses to fill the house.
Betty Hales married Doug Lee a month after Steven's birth. Roy and Dell brought him to the ceremony in a basket.
Roy and Dell bought their second house just east of the park on Dunbar Street. Roy also ripped out the tub and installed a shower so the bathroom would seem less crowded. When the septic tank collapsed, Roy looked around for the smallest one he could find. Jack Cowdry, who helped him install it, thinks it was 8 feet high by 10 feet by 20 feet. They weren’t able to dig down far enough before hitting hard pan. Luckily the contraption was made of wood, and they sawed it down to a size that could fit into the ground. The most distasteful chore filling in the old septic tank. All the liquid floated to the top, and an incredible amount of dirt was needed to cover it over. Though he can’t remember anything else Dell served for supper that night, the sight of pork and beans turned his stomach.
THE MOVE TO MAPLE RIDGE
They moved out to Maple Ridge after the war. Their first house was in Jack Cross' autocourt. Dell remembers a big hole in the floor. A day after she wallpapered the ceiling a rat stuck its' tail down through a seam. Roy grabbed his 30 30 and blasted the critter.
Dell has a lot of fun memories from those years. They played hockey on the frozen surface of the Alouette river, and whenever anyone scored a goal he got a drink. Roy and Fred used dynamite to catch fish off the Alouette river bridge. Once stick didn't ignite, and the game warden (Urquhart) tried to pin the crime on Fred, but their wasn't any proof. But Urquhart did catch Roy fishing with a shovel! The only place Dell ever knew dad to gamble was at Johnston's. She always thought that was to please Fred.
Jack Cross gave all of his children parcels of land. Norm and Jack (Jr) took riverfront lots, but Roy asked that Dell be given three acres further back on what was to become Balsam street. This is where he built a sawmill that operated from From 1945 to 1949. Sam Berto and Jack Cross Jr both worked there.
One winter Roy used a forklift to plow the snow down to Fred Johnston's.
THE HOUSE ON BALSAM STREET
BILL DICKIE
Bill Dickie came into Dell's life after Roy left. He was a widower who had long been attracted to her, but did not feel it was right to pursue this as long as she was married. Dell found solace in his company. If Roy was the love of her life, Bill was one of her closest friends.
He was a quiet man who would ignore people he didn't like, and didn't like crowds. They enjoyed gardening, swimming and television shows like "The Golden Girls".
They bought and sold a number of properties, usually doing well in the transaction.
He died of cancer a few years after they moved to Abbotsford, on Apr 10 1994.
FINAL YEARS
She overcame many obstacles in her life: divorce, the death of her second husband (Bill Dickie), the tragic death of her oldest son (Stephen Hales), cancer, macular degeneration - yet she always bounced back with a positive attitude towards life. (Dell liked to have fun!)
The last sixteen months of her life were a kind of pilgrimage. Dell’s physical disabilities had increased to the point that she had difficulty living on her own. So she moved to the Renaissance and at first reveled in the new friendships she made, but this came at the cost of her independence. Dell moved three more times: to White Rock, back to the Renaissance and finally purchasing an apartment in Walnut Grove. (Dell wanted to try making it on her own again!) Many can testify to the delight she experienced cooking pork chops, pasta, and salmon dinners. Dell likened her renewed independence to a rediscovery of her womanhood. A few days before her death, she said, “Honey, I feel like I’m home.”
She died of a heart attack on October 25 2006