KMAC Club Day 31st August dawned bright and sunny. The rat race challenge was to be the days event. By the time the wind sock was put out it was gusting to 20 knots (A knot is 1.852 kilometers per hour, not to be confused with the old granny knot, although it is said that many a fine tune can be played on an old fiddle).
A few of the contestants had a quick flight to familiarize themselves with the models. Terry Dodds was up to his old tricks again and was checking each motor’s compression. Filler Bottles and fuel was supplied, but Terry had his own bottle, and would not share it with anyone, His pilot Chris Berry was again with him as they had kissed and made up after the last comps debacle. I think Chris did mention anger management counselling. Bruce McKay, recently back from his travels had a quick practice fly and promptly had a very lean motor run. It was suggested to pack the motor in ice before the heats.
The fleet footed flier Bernie Cosgriff was back and he had a quick practice. ‘Actually it lasted for half a lap as he immediately went inverted again. The crowd did not even raise an eyebrow at Bernie’s flying.
There was a new CD for this event. Alan Mathieson-Hyphenated –Harrison had recently been appointed club CD at the recent AGM. He was really cock’A’hoop at the thought of a little bit of power. WRONG!! He wasn’t at the last contest where contestants and the crowd reduced the event to a complete farce!
Notably absent was the pleasant peasant duck plucker from Doncaster, David Nobes, who was the last Rat Race winner. Rumor has it he was on a camping trip with Laurie Levi, the anti-duck hunting campaigner (love to be a fly in the tent there).
Ken Taylor was back in his usual capacity as crowd controller. Before the first heat he addressed the crowd and read the riot act to them.
Unfortunately he had forgotten to bring the loud hailer and the wind was blowing the wrong way so no one heard a thing. Bernie Cosgriff an excellent lip reader was the only one to make sense of Ken Taylor’s ranting. First heat up was Cosgriff/Koch against Vallve/Dodds. Steve got a ripper start and was away straight into a wingdder and heading for Koch who was still flicking away, unaware of what was unfolding. Luckily Vallve came to his senses and got the model under some sort of control. Cosgriff finally got away and surprise he remained upright, but only for ¾ of a lap. Yes they collided. I mean Really what does one have to do to keep 2 models apart going at about 35mph!
CD Allan Matheison-Hyphenated-Harrison was speechless. This was going to throw a Ferret amongst the Rabbits! Fortunately only minor damage was sustained on one of the models. It needed some cyno, but of course none was available.
Off went Koch and Grinham to find some. By the time they had got back, the contest was over. Some did say that there was a faint odour on the lips of Koch and Grinham of a very tippy red. However if it could not be confirmed as both behaved impeccably for the rest of the afternoon (not that they did much).
What did happen while Koch and co were away was that all competitors flew 2 rounds each on their own! There was no carnage, the crowd were not happy. Ken Taylor’s job was in jeopardy! It was another KMAC dismal attempt to throw some life into the senior members.
At lunch placings were announced. I can’t remember them as I was too busy trying to get a sausage before they ran out. There were no prizes this time as the treasurer had found out about the free meal ticket awarded last time.
There were a few speeches, but nothing to do with the race. There was a mention of buying a computer at a flea market, and someone wanted to buy a generator, large enough to operate a welder. When asked if this was for club jobs no answer was forth coming.
After all that the day slowly disintegrated into small factions of members having a show and tell out of their car boots. Doug Grinham’s electric model was grounded due to the wind. The lord did smile on him again.
The only thing left to do was to load up Ken Taylor’s buggy and take him back to the old folk’s home. I shouldn’t say this but he is starting to get a bit of a reputation amongst the nurses. He has already tried to fly a small helicopter in the dining room, much to the consternation of the incontinent residents!
By the time got home, my dinner was cold and the ducks had flown the coop.