What if... you are killing me softly
The bright lights of Tokyo were held at bay by the blinds and Alex was lying on his side in the semi-darkness of the room. There was a hand thrown over his hip and Kato's body was behind him spooning his. He moved, put a hand under his head and the hand over his hip automatically pulled him closer, holding him possessively.
Hundreds and hundreds of tiny bubbles emerged from within, making him feel warm, curving the corners of his lips up and he examine that feeling. It was happiness. He didn't know for how long he would feel this way or how everything would end, but it didn't really matter, because right now he was happy. Kato made him happy. And sore. He giggled to himself and snuggled deeper into the warmth of Kato's body.
"You are still awake," Kato leaned his cheek on Alex's and he yawned. "You woke me up and I finally managed to doze off. And your hair," he moved the loose strands from Alex's braid away from his mouth, "it's everywhere." He pressed a kiss against Alex's neck.
Alex pulled the braid forward; his fingers playing with the mop of hair. He still couldn't believe that Kato had braided it so that his hair wouldn't get wet as they shared a long soak in the tub together surrounded by scented candles. He still couldn't really wrap his mind around the things that had happened after they got out of the bath. As the images of what happened played in his mind, redness appeared on his cheeks and a heat travelled down his spine directly into his cock.
He silently swore and took a deep breath to calm his libido. He said: . "I can leave." He'd offered that before, actually he had intended to walk out of Kato's room as soon as he regained his breath and strength after their wild tumble, not that he wanted to, but … as soon as Kato's breathing became even and deep, Alex had climbed slowly out of bed when his legs gave out from under him and he ended on the floor with a thump. Kato, in the role of the knight, came to the rescue.
"Oh, no you don't." Kato's words were the same as before. He pressed his groin against Alex's ass. "I'm not finished with you."
Alex knew what Kato's words meant, the bulge pressing into the softness of his ass pretty obvious. "You can't be serious? I'm already sore as it is. And you were trying to sleep a minute ago."
Kato's hand sneaked up and he pinched Alex's nipple. "I'm not sleepy anymore and I'm not finished with corrupting you."
Alex swallowed the gasp. "But I wont be able to walk tomorrow if we-"
"You have a free day tomorrow," Kato's smile was heard in his voice, "you don't need the ability to walk."
Alex was about to protest, but then there was that sweet mouth doing wonders on the line of his jaw and throat, and those hands rubbing the soft skin on his belly, slowly moving lower, inch by inch. He moaned when the fingers grazed the sensitive skin of his wakening flesh. He just couldn't win, could he? He would probably never be able to say no to Kato. "You… are… a bastard."
"I know." Kato's mouth was on the skin of Alex's neck, while his fingers were still moving lower.
And then there were slick fingers in him, pushing on the right button and soft gasps were torn from Alex's throat.
Kato's fingers were doing magic on Alex, rubbing and pushing against Alex's prostrate. "Still so tight, still so perfect; like you were made for me."
Alex pushed back on those fingers and whimpered. That husky voice was going to be his undoing.
"Are you all right?" Kato's fingers stilled. "I'm not hurting you, I am?"
Yes, you are, yes, you are, you are giving me a sweet pain. "Nothing… nothing, that I can't take it."
"But you would tell me if you couldn't take it."
"Yes." No.
The hand withdrew from Alex and he heard the snap of a plastic lid and the tear of the foil. He tucked his hands under his chin and wiggled his ass, knowing what was coming next.
The hands came back, one holding his hip in a tight grip, while the other one covered his hands and there was a pressure against his entrance.
And then his breath was stolen away from him, the emptiness that those fingers left in him filled. They were still, savouring the moment, their fingers entwined on Alex's chest, and tiny droplets of sweat ran down the side of Alex's face.
Kato started to slowly move in him, seducing him with long, liquid strokes, he was building up the rhythm, his hand that a minute ago held his hip, stroking him, travelling up and down his torso, giving the special attention to his nipples and to his weeping flesh.
And it was perfect.
So perfect that Alex's eyes become moist, and his chest felt tight and heavy.
So prefect that it felt like Kato actually loved him. But it was nothing more than a sweet lie. He lifted their fingers and pressed a kiss on them, then held them close, keeping his mouth on them.
Kato's strokes become deeper, each stroke rubbing Alex's special spot, sending a intensive pleasure spiralling up Alex's spine and Alex was pushing out with his lower body, intercepting every one of Kato's thrusts, the tension building up so fast now.
And then Alex stood on the edge of the coming orgasm; his heart pounding so fast that it felt it would jump right out of his chest, with his stomach fluttering and with his body trembling and then a touch of those marvellous fingers on his erection and he was floating in the lake of pleasure, shaking from head to toe.
"That's it, kukki (cookie), shake for me, and let your body tell me how much it loves it." Kato deliver a last couple of long, deep strokes before he froze and with a hushed cry he joined Alex.
The minutes ticked away and Alex's heart was slowly calming down, his breath returning to normal. Their fingers were still entwined, Kato still in him, and he could stay like that forever, being one with Kato. At that thought, his heart went wild and he felt a cold dread at the roots of his hair.
With his hands and body, Kato withdrew from Alex, fiddled with something behind Alex, and then pulled the blanket away from them.
A soft gasp was torn from Alex. Without the warmth of Kato's body and the blanket he was suddenly so cold. He wrapped his arms around himself and hid his face into the pillow.
Kato's hand was warm when he touched him; he leaned his cheek on Alex's shoulder and was using the moist handkerchief on Alex's stomach and between his legs. "Why are you so quiet?"
"I'm tired," Alex mumbled into the pillow.
"How do you mean tired? I did all the work." Kato's hands withdrew. A moment later the blanket was pulled over them and Kato's warmth was back behind Alex's back.
"I'm sore in places I can't even touch, because somebody couldn't keep his libido in check. I think I'm entitled to be tired." Alex's face was still pressed against the pillow.
"Is somebody complaining?" Kato's hand slid over Alex's side, around Alex's waist, and he pulled him close.
No, not really. "Hmm."
"What was that?"
"Hmm."
"Indeed." Kato chuckled into Alex's hair and then pressed a kiss on the side of Alex's head. "Now go to sleep."
And Alex did, with his body relaxed, his limbs so wonderful weak that he doubted he could lift a finger, he snuggled closer to Kato, closed his eyes, and drifted to sleep.
Xxx
Alex's turned on his side, his hand sliding under the pillow. His shift irritated something and a dull pain travelled up his spine, he whimpered and opened his eyes. What the hell was that?
"Are you ok?" A gentle hand was immediately on his cheek, stroking it tenderly. When he lifted his gaze, there was Kato looking all fresh and shiny, leaning on his elbow, the smile shining in his warm, brown eyes and the corners of his mouth looking like they didn't want to stay down.
"Yeah, I think so." What was Kato doing in his room? Oh wait, this wasn't his room. This was Kato's room. He furrowed his forehead, and if he remembered correctly Kato was guilty for the pain he felt in his lower region. He smiled to himself, well; it wasn't that bad and it was worth it. He lifted himself up, oh, shit, it was that bad… his poor abused ass not used to treatments like that anymore. Maybe with more practise… He reached out and pinched Kato's arm.
"What did you do that for?" Kato rubbed the spot, the smile still firm on his face.
"I'm in pain, it's your fault and you are grinning." Alex gathered the sheet around himself, turned and threw his legs over the edge of the bed, his face grimacing. He should move more slowly and carefully.
"Give me a brake." Kato's smile became wider; he moved behind Alex and wrapped his arms around Alex's shoulders, rubbing his cheek against Alex's. "I got laid yesterday. Multiple times. And maybe I will even get lucky tonight."
Get lucky tonight? Alex's body stiffened. His poor body would need at least one, two days to recover, so he couldn't mean him, could he?
He couldn't mean him?
So why was Kato telling him this?
He didn't have any illusion, he didn't expect that they were going to date, that just because of what happened he could call Kato as his boyfriend. But he had thought that maybe, just maybe, he had meant something more that a quick fuck. It felt like it was more, but he guessed that it was just his wishful thinking. "On the party?"
"What?"
Alex swallowed down the lump of misery that threatened to overflow him. Maybe he really was naïve as Kato said. "You are going to the party?"
"You know I'm going." Kato leaned his chin on Alex's shoulder and took Alex's hand in his, admiring the long fingers. "I can't get out of it."
"Yeah." And why should you? You might get lucky there. He tore himself from Kato and got up on his feet, his teeth biting into his lower lip, preventing the whimper to escape. He hardened himself against the pain that every rash move provoked and against the sorrow that that threaten to wet his eyelashes.
"Where are you going?" Kato was already behind Alex.
"Into my room." Alex gathered the sheet more tightly around him and wobbled toward the door.
Kato with long, quick steps appeared before Alex. He leaned his back on the door, the confusion in his eyes. "What's the matter?"
"Nothing."
"Get back in the bed, Alex."
"I would like to go into my room."
"C'mon, get back." Kato unglued himself from the door, turned Alex around and pushed him toward the bed. "I got you breakfast."
Alex's gaze followed Kato's pointed finger. There was a tray with toast, butter, marmalade, cut fruits, and tea on the nightstand. How come he hadn't noticed this earlier? "I'm not hungry."
"It's my birthday today." Kato pushed him gently on the bed. "And you should listen to a birthday boy, cause my wish is your command."
He had almost forgotten. "Happy birthday." He should get the present and give it to him, not that Kato deserved it.
"Thanks." Kato gathered him into a clumsy hug. "I will get the kiss later, after you brush your teeth." He put the tray with the food on Alex's lap.
Alex signed. It was easier to listen to Kato than to argue with him. He racked his brains for the phrase that Japanese used before eating. He knew that it meant 'I gratefully receive', but right now he couldn't remember it. What was it? Ah "Itadakimasu." he really wasn't hungry, but he pecked at the food.
"Did you notice that after Friday there are no more engagements?" Kato lay down beside Alex.
"Yeah." When Naomi was giving a timetable for the next month he asked her about that and she said that Kato always takes free days in this time and if Alex wants and if Kato agrees he can have his vacation now.
"On Friday we are having the Hanami, the cherry blossom viewing party in the Hama Garden., you'll be able to meet some of band members families and friends." Kato took a slice of apple from the plate, took a bite, chewed it and swallowed it. " And on Saturday we are going to a spa my friend owns. I go there every year around this time."
"We?" Alex tucked the wisp of the hair that escaped from his braid, behind his ear.
"James, you and me." Kato took another slice of the fruit and rolled on his back. "And after that we have a tour planned and when that is finished, we are going to my house in Tobe. It's time that I start to work on some new songs."
" I see." Alex remembered the talk, one of the many they had over the phone when Kato had told him that he used to have a house in Okinawa Then after all the people that mattered to him moved out, he moved into Tobe because it was nice, much closer, and more convenient for him. He took a sip of the tea. It was green teen with a taste of Jasmine. He loved this tea.
Xxx
Alex took the plain, clay teacup and admired the elegant grace with which Missis Toshi, Siva's mother, purred him the tea. He could easily imagine her in some ancient, traditional Japanese room, with tatami , the Japanese straw rug, dressed in long metres of embroidered silk, from the way she is performing the tea ceremony. He decided that he liked Siva's family; they were friendly, quiet and very polite. "Arigato (Thank you)."
He turned, nursing his cup in his hands and looked around. A meter away from him there was Tanaka, his blue hair gathered into a ponytail, his newly acquired lip ring glistering under the soft sunrays and his nice eyes glued on the lovely looking girl he brought with him. Besides him, there was Ame, the slightly curled ends of her black bob dancing with her movement, and Naya, her bleached hair tossed over her shoulder. They were both talking and laughing together, the members of their families behind them, eating, drinking and talking. Even Aika and her husband were there, the outline of her pregnancy visible under her dress.
Alex was introduced to everybody before they sat on the blue plastic that was hidden under the soft blankets and under the pink clouds of cherry trees and before the baskets with food and drinks were distributed around. It looked so beautiful. He wished his family was here with him, enjoying the sight. He missed them. He did have contact with them over the phone and Internet, but it was different than sitting down and having a proper debate.
"Here you are." An extra blanket was put in Alex's lap.
"Thank you." Alex looked up and watched Kato lower himself beside him, his free hand spreading the blanket over his legs. He hadn't asked for a blanket or even complained that it was cold, although he was. It was just weird. Wasn't he Kato's assistant and not the other way around?
"Is not just for you." Kato lifted the edge of the blanket, inched closer until their thighs touched and pulled the blanket over his legs.
Missis Toshi gave Alex a cup filled with hot tea, the steam was still raising as he passed it to Kato.
Kato took the cup, nodded a thank you to Siva's mother, and took a sip. The fingers of his free hand tiptoed under the blanket and around Alex's waist.
Alex turned his head, his eyes looking into that beautiful face. His red hair was dancing in the slight breeze and there was a pink rain falling in a shape of petals around them. It was magical. He shook his head, but that wasn't the point. The point was that Kato got away with too many things. "You better not be trying something."
"Like I would dare." There was something cheeky in Kato's smile and it made Alex suspiciously narrow his eyes at him.
Kato rubbed his palm against Alex's side. " And besides, why would I? After we get home, I have you and a whole night before me."
"If you think that I'm letting you into my bed, think again," Alex whispered to Kato. Just because he let him yesterday and the day before that didn't mean he would let him in tonight.
"You said that yesterday, too." Kato took another sip of his tea. "Siva, is that your mother's home made kamaboko (fish cake)?" Kato was looking at the dishes that were set on the cloth between Alex, Siva and Missis Toshi.
When Siva nodded, Alex was nudged into picking up the small cakes onto a dish. With a pout and an ugly look in his eyes, he passed it to Kato.
Kato's fingers released Alex's waist and he took the dish.
Alex used this to put more distance between them, pretending that he was looking at the displayed dishes, deciding what he should eat. There were a lot of options laid there and he didn't know more than half of them. So what to eat, what to eat?
"Kato." Tanaka called and he asked him to come over.
"I'll be right back." Kato said to Alex, put all the things he was holding on the ground, stood up and went over to Tanaka.
Alex watched him walk away before Siva's voice intruded.
"Can I talk with you?"
"Talk." Alex put down his cup.
"Not here." Siva stood up and offered his hand to Alex.
"Why?" What was so important that they had to talk now and in private? "Can't it wait until we get home?"
"I'm not going home with you and we won't see each other for quite some you hear? My girlfriend is coming this evening from America and we are going to the seaside."
"Oh. Ok then." Alex removed the blanket from his knees. He remembered Kato telling him something about that, he hadn't really been listening at the time, but he did catch that Siva was in contact with some short, surprisingly loud girl who they meet while in America. Now that he thought about it, Kato had mentioned that she was supposedly visiting Siva sometime in the near future. What was her name? Andrea or Andi or something like that. Well, Alex shook his head, it didn't really matter. He took Siva's hand and was pulled up. "But it better be important."
Siva led them away from the picnic place and they stopped a few meters away, their frames hidden from view by the trees.
"What's so urgent?" Alex leaned his back on the trunk of the tree.
"Does Kato sleep in your bed now?" Siva positioned himself before Alex.
Redness bloomed on Alex's face and he adverted his eyes.
"Is he?" Siva put his hand on Alex's shoulder.
"It's none of your business."
"But it is. Every year around this time he was coming into my bed and now he doesn't." Siva's voice was soft and friendly. "Stop looking at me like that. We didn't have sex. I'm straight, remember?"
"So why then… "
Why would Kato be going into somebody's bed?
Was there more behind Kato's nightly visits than just lust?
Alex closed his eyes. He didn't wanted to be his whore, but he couldn't say no to him, couldn't say no to those skilled hands and mouth, a shiver ran up his spine, not to mention that tongue.
"… Sensitive- Hey, are you even listening to me?" Siva pulled on the hair that was falling from Alex's low ponytail on Alex's shoulder.
"Hhmm." Alex opened his eyes. "Sorry. What were you saying?"
"That his parents threw him out the day after his birthday and around this time he becomes a little sensitive," Siva said. "I used to be the one who took care of him, but it seems that he decided to get through it with your help. I used to go with him to that spa."
"Is Kato replacing me with you?"
"No," Siva's said. "It's nothing like that, at least I don't think it is. Look, I just want to ask you to take care of him and to threaten you, that if you hurt him, I'll hurt you."
"Like I would."
"I know." Siva smiled and his palm rubbed Alex's arm.
"What's going on here?"
Siva slowly turned and stepped sideways, and there was Kato, with his arms akimbo and with a deep frown on his face.
"It's not what-"
"Siva just threatened me." Alex quickly intervened.
"Yeah?" The frown on Kato was reduced.
"Yeah." Alex crossed his arms. "Not very successfully though, he doesn't look dangerous enough."
Kato bypassed Siva, his eyes intent on Alex. "With what did he threaten you?"
"Guys I'm just going…" Siva pointed toward the direction of the picnic and with fast steps he snuck away.
"That if I hurt you, he'll hurt me." Alex watched Kato's approach. "He's very devoted to you." But they all were, the members of the band, the staff, even the people who only worked for him occasionally. It was quite disturbing sometimes.
"What about you? Are you devoted to me?" The tips of Kato's shoes were touching Alex's and his arms he framed Alex's body.
"Nope." Alex tried to ignore the way Kato was in his personal bubble, again.
"Are you sure?" Kato's breath caressed the exposed skin on Alex's neck and he pressed his body against Alex's.
"Kato. Stop it." Alex's pushed his palms against Kato's chest. "Somebody might see us."
"So what?" Kato leaned forward; he trapped Alex's arms between them.
"I don't want for anybody to know that you…" , he searched in his mind for a better word, but there were none, "that you are fucking me." He wasn't ready to listen to the: Kato's too good for you, you don't mean anything to him, or don't get your hopes up, because he knew all that already.
"You mean making sweet love to you." Kato pressed a kiss on Alex's nose.
Alex snorted. Sweet love, yeah, right, that was the reason why he had problems with sitting lately. "Whatever."
Kato sighed. "Why do you have to be so difficult? Why do you always have to nag or complain and be a complete bitch."
What was he talking about? He did everything Kato wanted. "What are you talking about?" Alex frowned. "What do you want from me?"
"Everything I can get." Kato stepped back. "And right now I want to flirt with you and seduce you and you are being bitchy."
Alex removed the glasses and rubbed the bridge of his nose. "You don't have to bother."
"But I want to."
"It's a waste of time." And it gave him a false notion. Alex put his glasses back on.
"It's my time and I'll waste it as I please." Kato narrowed his eyes. "And maybe you are right, right now you are a waste of my time." He turned on his heel and with a fury in his step left.
Alec slumped down on the ground and he hugged his knees. Kato misunderstood; he meant that he didn't need his flattering and flirting because while he may resist and nag, at the end he'd always let Kato in his bed and into his pants. He sadly smiled to himself; he couldn't forget the pants.
He should be angry, not sad.
That damn bastard, telling him that he was a waste of time. He wasn't a waste of time. What did he want? Wasn't it enough that he put his wishes before his own?
Damn, where was his phone? He needed some consolation; he only hoped that Nina was at home.