Geb's gaze travelled over the patrons occupying the chairs at the round, iron tables on the sidewalk before a small cafe. Robin had a job interview at four o'clock and since he was in the neighbourhood they had agreed to meet at five o'clock at this cafe, which was just a few steps away from Geb's office. As soon as he spotted the familiar brunette, the corners of Geb's mouth turned upwards and he accelerated his steps.
Robin spotted him too, and waved.
Geb came closer. He would have liked to put his hand on Robin's shoulder and press a greeting kiss on Robin's cheek or mouth, but because of Robin's stiff, rejecting response when Geb had tried to give him a similar greeting over the bar's counter two weeks ago, he restrained himself. He sat down in the chair opposite Robin and smiled. "Hey."
"Hey."
"How did the interview go?" Geb leaned back in the chair, his eyes drinking in the sight of Robin, who was dressed in a beige shirt and olive cargo pants. They hadn't seen each other for three whole days due to Geb's workload and the fact that the more time they spent together, the more Robin withdrew, so Geb had decided to give him some space.
"I'm not sure." Robin frowned. "Not very good, I think. They wanted somebody who has working experience."
"Too bad." Geb had already offered to ask around his business associates to see if any of them needed a graphical designer, and he was sure that something would have popped up. But Robin had rejected the idea, saying that he would find a job on his own. Geb could understand that; it was a pride thing, how could he not?
"Yeah."
The waiter came and Geb ordered the same as Robin, Heineken, then his focus was on Robin again. "Do you already know if you're working this evening?"
"No, I'm free."
"Do you have any plans?"
"No."
"Do you want to go somewhere?"
"With you?"
"Who else?"
The waiter brought a drink, Geb paid, then leaned on the table, his fingers playing with the green bottle's neck. "If you don't want to, you can always say no." When Robin stared at him uncomprehendingly, Geb continued, "Whenever I ask you out, you act like I'm proposing a visit to the dentist. I feel like I'm forcing you to hang out with me. You only show a desire to be with me when I back off."
"No, I don't."
"Yes, you do." Geb wrapped his fingers around the bottle's neck. "Didn't you ask me out after I told you I would leave you alone?"
"Yes, but-"
"And you only called me today because I haven't been around nagging –"
"I called you, because I was in the neighbourhood."
"Yeah, right." Geb rolled his eyes, he brushed invisible dust from his grey jacket. "Then explain why, whenever I try to hold your hand or kiss you on your cheek, you freeze up like you have a cramp or something."
"I don't."
"Yes, you do." Geb said. "The only time you are not on your guard is when we fuck."
"That's not true."
Geb raised his eyebrows.
"Is it?" Robin's shoulders slumped.
"I'm afraid it is," Geb said, nodding.. "I know there're some things that happened to you." Geb paused, wishing that they were in his apartment or in some private place, where he could wrap Robin into a hug, not letting him go, forcing him to tell him what happened, so that Geb could help, but they were not. "But could you just stop with this cold and hot attitude? If you want to be with me, be with me, but if not -- I would rather we stop now, than three months from now when things are too serious."
"Too serious? What are you talking about?" Robin leaned closer. "We are just friends, fuck-buddies, I'm just one of many."
"Since you asked me out, you are the only one."
"What? Not even Marshall?"
"Well, does giving Marshall a blow job count?" Geb lifted up the bottle. He took a big gulp. He hadn't intended to share that information with Robin, because telling that was almost the same as saying 'I love you,' but it seemed that Robin needed to hear it more than Geb needed to keep it to himself.
"Why?"
"I caught him masturbating and he looked frustrated, so I helped him." Geb put the bottle down. He should probably return the key to Marshall's apartment, or only use it in emergencies and otherwise use a doorbell, like Marshall did even though he had Geb's apartment key.
"No, why only me?"
Geb sighed. It seemed that Robin was a little slow on the uptake. "Because I like you more than I like the others."
"More than Marshall?"
Geb nodded.
Pink dusted Robin's cheeks. "That's nice to hear."
"I can imagine." Geb suppressed the urge to roll his eyes. Here he was, spilling his heart out as much as he was able to, and all Robin could say was: 'That's nice to hear'. Well, fuck it. He took a big gulp of beer.
"Geb." Robin reached out, he wrapped his fingers around Geb's free hand. "I like you too."
"That's nice to hear." Geb slowly pulled his hand out of Robin's.
"Have I said something wrong?" Robin leaned on the table.
"No, you said nothing wrong." Geb took another big gulp of the beer and then put the almost empty bottle back on the table. He was just stupid to expect more of Robin than Robin was willing to give.
"Are you sure? You are acting weird."
"I'm sure." Geb stood up. "I'm going home now. Are you going with me?"
Robin nodded, stood up and they went toward the Tube station. Geb's apartment was three stations away, so it didn't take long to find themselves into Geb's lemon yellow kitchen.
But the thing that Geb couldn't understand was how they ended up with Robin on the counter, with him between Robin's spread legs, glued onto Robin's back, fucking Robin like life depended on it. He had just wanted to give Robin a cool drink, not to use butter as lube. It was a good thing he had condoms in the pocket of the jeans that now pooled around his ankles.
Geb put his hands over Robin's as they gripped the edge of the counter, his fingers found the places between Robin's and he thrust hard in the depths of the hot body beneath him.
Robin moaned. He turned his head, so that now instead of resting his forehead against the surface he lay with his cheek against the counter.
Geb slid his lips over the side of Robin's face; his tongue darted out to lick the perspiration that gathered there the, salty and unique taste that screamed Robin to him, the taste he loved, the taste he was getting addicted to . He rolled his hips, thrust harder, faster, deeper. He wanted to make Robin scream his name, he wanted Robin to think only of him and he wanted Robin to love him. He increased the plunging rhythm, the head of his dick slamming against Robin's sweet spot in quick succession, the body beneath him wiggling in sweet abandonment.
Throaty moans and groans came from Robin, adding fuel to an already burning fire.
Geb adjusted his grip on Robin, his body trapping Robin's, making it immobile. Then he fucked Robin like there was no tomorrow, his cock never leaving that tight, spasming hole, it battered against those slippery walls until the body beneath shook, until those smooth muscles wrapped around him like a iron fist.
Geb's name on Robin's lips.
Geb still pushed on, once, twice, thrice before he froze. "I love you." And then fireworks before his eyes, the feeling of brightness so intense that he had to close his eyes, while the small shivers like an electric current travelled in waves through his body.
Geb gave himself a few moments to catch his breath, then he pushed himself away from Robin, his dick slid out of Robin and he leaned on the counter beside him. Another few moments of stillness and the sound of hard breathing dominating the silence before Geb removed the condom and tossed it in the bin under the sink.
"You don't have to be that rough, you know." Robin slowly pulled himself up.
"Don't say you didn't like it." Geb tore paper towels from the roll beside the sink, wetted them and gave them to Robin, then took another batch for himself.
"I didn't say that." Robin rolled down his shirt and retrieved his boxers and pants from the floor.
"I thought not." Geb pulled up his underwear and then jeans and zipped them. Then he took another batch of towels, sprayed window cleaner on them, pushed Robin out of the way and cleaned Robin's come from the counter.
"Geb." Robin put his hand on Geb's shoulder. "Did you mean it?"
"Hmmm?" Geb turned, tossed the towels into the bin and then leaned his hips on the counter.
Robin stepped closer, wrapped his arm around Geb's waist and leaned on Geb. "When you said that you love me, did you mean it?"
Geb frowned. He told Robin that he loved him? When? Oh, shit, he did say that, didn't he? Not five minutes ago. How stupid could he be? He ran his fingers through his hair. But no matter how stupid it was, he wouldn't deny it. "Yeah."
Robin pressed himself closer. "I don't know why, but it makes me happy."
Geb buried his fingers into Robin's hair. "But you are not in love with me?"
"I don't think that I can be." Robin's breath caressed the side of Geb's face. He moved, so that they were face to face. "I don't think that I'm able to open up enough to let anyone close enough to fall in love." He smiled. "But you manage to get under my skin. I want to be with you." He wrinkled his forehead. "You are probably right, you know, about that cold and hot attitude. When I have your attention I'm afraid of the closeness that I feel toward you and I want to distance myself from you. But when I don't have your attention, I miss it, I want it. I'm awful, aren't I?
"You are not awful." Geb combed brown hair away from Robin's face and tucked it behind his ear. "I know you have been through a lot."
"Linda, right?" Robin tilted his head. "I know she told you some things. She has a big mouth, but usually she knows when to shut up." He smiled. "She said you tricked her and that you are very good, you didn't tell her anything, but she thought that you were my boyfriend and that you already knew everything. Well, I expected you would pry, but you didn't and I appreciate that."
"Just tell me one thing. Did the incident that put in you into the hospital have anything to do with that ex of yours?"
Robin slid out of the loose circle of Geb's arms. He stepped back and leaned his backside on the sink. "Yeah."
"I see."
"Todd, Todd was part of the right group, popular and admired, everybody wanted to be his friend." Robin looked down at his hands then back up again. "You have to understand, American high schools are different than English upper schools. They can be hell, but I was fine, until he noticed me." He sighed. "He could smell a gay in the closet a mile away. He seduced me, made me fall in love with him, made me believe that he cared, and he probably did in his twisted way. But, soon I found out that I wasn't the only guy, that he had others, so I didn't want to have anything to do with him. He didn't want to let me go, because nobody leaves him…"
"It's ok, You don't have to-"
"No, I want to. I want to tell you." Robin gripped the edge of the counter. "About how he molested me every time he got me alone, and then one day his three friends caught him feeling me up. He tried to wiggle his way out of it, because them knowing that he was a gay would be the end of his popularity. He told them that he heard how good a lay with a guy can be, that he wanted to experiment, to try it and since he heard I'm a big slut…They thought it was a good idea, that they should all try and when I didn't cooperate, when I was too good in resisting them, they beat me up. I guess I could call myself lucky that they give up the rape idea so quickly."
Geb closed the distance between them and pulled Robin into a hug. He needed it as much as Robin did. He blinked away the wetness that gathered in the corners of his eyes.
Robin wrapped his arms around Geb's waist and rested his head on Geb's shoulder. "I was in the hospital for more than two months and after I got out, since Linda and her parents were moving here and since they are our distant relatives and good friends, I went with them. Mom and Dad said they would rather be without me than send me back to a place where something like that happened." Robin furrowed his brows together. "I see them here and there, but I miss them. I'm waiting for them to retire, so they can move here."
"You had it rough." Geb caressed Robin's back. "What happened to those bastards?" He wished he had been there, he wished he could have shown them what pain is.
"Todd visited me in a hospital, said that he was sorry and that he expected us to continue as we were. I had a panic attack, and they never let him get close to me again-"
"Damn bastard."
"I think they moved at the end, he and the other one;, my parents sued all four of them, and since two of them were just well off, not rich like the other two, they had to sell their houses to pay off the compensation and the lawyers. Not that I care for them."
"They can all rot in hell."
"Yeah." Robin nodded.