Arieh bent down; his hand cupped the face of the man hanging by his feet from the oak tree in the middle of the town square. With his other hand, he pushed a small blue leaf with a white marble under the hanged man’s tongue. His master, Jeroh, the city’s healer, had given him the medicine which would knock Thad into the state of hibernation and which should help Thad’s body survive hanging upside down for seven days.
He still had ten minutes before the Changing of the Guard Ceremony concluded; a new tradition that the Captain of the Guard introduced when the Queen imprisoned the General, this country’s hero and Arieh’s childhood friend. He lingered beside Thad even though he stood on a stage under the oak tree on the square of the main city surrounded by two-story houses with shops in the ground floors, but the clock of the town’s church at the end of the square had struck midnight and Arieh doubted that there were any people around. And even if they were, he wasn’t afraid of consequences, thirty lashes of the whip, which he would get if they caught him beside Thad. He would do far more for Thad if he only could, because in the past Thad had been his best friend and because Thad was the one who had defended him when the other children bullied him because he was poor and his mother a local whore. Thad was the only one who had played with him and the only one who understood that Arieh’s mother loved Arieh and was a good mother despite her job.
Arieh combed through Thad’s black hair, whose ends brushed against the wooden floor, his eyes caressing the slightly squared face with its narrow nose and strong chin. Yeah, Thad understood; Thad even came on visits, he had lunch with Arieh and his mom, and kept him company behind the house when ever Arieh’s mom had a client.
Those had been good times, they had made his childhood bearable and were the main reason why Arieh would always have a soft spot in his heart for Thad, even though since Thad’s uncle had sponsored his twelve-year-old nephew’s attendance at the military school, Arieh could only see Thad from afar, and listen to the gossip about how cold and uncaring a person Thad had become, a person who didn’t care for anything, except for his position.
But Thad was still their saviour. Since the late king had named him a General he had managed to repulse all the neighbouring countries’ attacks despite their army lacking solders; and even though people didn’t like his attitude, rare were those who agreed with seeing their General punished for offending the Queen. But because Thad hadn’t objected to his sentence, nobody dared to protest, not even when nobody knew what his offence against the Queen had been.
“You only need to say one word and the soldiers would revolt against the Queen without hesitation, anything for their golden hero,” Arieh whispered, knowing that Thad couldn’t hear him, but talking to him gave him a strange kind of consolation. “You only needed to say one word and I would have rushed to your aid, even though you acted like you didn’t recognize me the last time we saw each other.” He sighed. “It really hurt, you know. It still does, even though it happened three years ago.”
The last caress of his fingers. “I have to go now.” He stood up and wrapped his dark gray hooded plaid tighter around his body before, using the shadows of the tree and houses, he sneaked back into his master’s herb shop.
He climbed up the stairs into his room in the private part of the house, and after stripping down to underwear he climbed onto his pallet. He pulled up the covers and then, in the dark, stared at the ceiling.
Tomorrow was the last day of Thad’s punishment and nobody knew what the Queen intended to do with Thad after that, so Arieh worried that his midnight visits could be for nothing and that this might have been the last time he would able to see Thad. He bit his lip. It wasn’t fair. Thad was his friend, the person he adored and respected the most, why did their paths have to separate like that?
#
Arieh stood by the window of the apartment above the herb’s shop, a cup of coffee forgotten in his hand as he watched guards dressed in black and green checkerboard-patterned uniforms march into the square, four of them carrying the Queen’s golden litter.
The crowd that had started at noon to gather around the wooden stage where Thad hung parted before the procession as it went toward the stage. The litter was set on the ground, the doors opened and the Queen stepped on the platform; green jewels knitted in fire-red hair sparkled in the setting sun.
Thad was lowered down; his body lifelessly lay on the floor as the Queen started the speech.
Arieh couldn’t hear her words – anticipating empty excuses he hadn’t bothered with opening the window -- but he could almost feel people’s disapproval. Or maybe it was his own disapproval, his anger that foamed inside him, the disbelief at the stupidity happening before his eyes. She wasn’t fit to be a Queen; she was too childish, too used to getting her way, too gullible? and too far under the influence of the High Counsellor.
“Stop being so tense.” Jeroh, Arieh’s master, climbed up the stairs and stood behind Arieh. He put his hand on Arieh’s shoulders. “Everything’s going to work out fine.”
“How can you be so sure?”
“Because I’m old and wise. And because with the medicine you have been giving him, the General is not going to respond to the Royal Doctor’s examination.”
Did that mean that Queen’s doctor was going to proclaim Thad an imbecile, as he had the last poor sod that suffered the same sentence? But that man really became a simpleton, the pressure of gravity had damaged his brain and his eyes, while the shackles from which he had hung had injured his ankles. “What is she going to do with him?”
“I don’t know. I doubt that the Queen would take General back to the castle. She is probably going to leave him here, expecting the townspeople to take care of him, if they dare.”
His master was right. The Queen left Thad lying on the stage after the doctor performed his examination of him and the crowd dispersed. Arieh wanted to rush to join Thad, but his master stopped him, telling him to wait until nightfall; he guaranteed him that nobody else would dare to take Thad, not with the one of the Queen’s magistrates sitting on the veranda of the square’s tavern, the Wild Boar.
As much as Arieh hated seeing Thad lying there, unprotected and abandoned like he was garbage instead of a human being, Arieh obeyed his master and waited until the darkness descended over the city.
At midnight the square was empty, but Arieh could glimpse people behind their window, lying in wait to see what was going to happen to the country’s ex-hero. The queen’s magistrate moved in the tavern, at the table at the window; everybody could see his face staring out through the glass. But how could he see anything with the way clouds travelled in the sky, covering the full moon here and there, submerging the square in darkness, and which couldn’t be broken even with the lonely torch that burned by the stage?
In the herb shop Jeroh and Arieh waited for the right opportunity and when a large cloud hushed the moon’s light, they pulled their hoods over their heads and rushed toward the stage. They picked up Thad and, covering him with a plaid, lifted him up and hauled him through the shop and into the inner yard of the house, where they put him into the wooden tub that stood in the niche by the wall. It was the first month of spring, the winter cold still lingered in the night’s air, but it was all right since Thad couldn’t feel it in his state.
They got rid of his clothes, smelly and soiled by body fluids, then using the water that they had previously heated, they washed Thad’s body. Only then did they carry him up the stairs into the private part of the house, to the extra pallet in Arieh’s room, where they started to apply ointments to his body.
Arieh wrapped narrow strips of cotton cloth around Thad’s swollen ankles, here and there glancing at Thad’s still damp body. Bruises marred almost every inch of Thad’s skin, showing the imprints of the ropes as they had wound around Thad’s body, and he was thinner than before, but it was still a body with strong shoulders and a muscular chest and abdomen. It reminded Arieh of the time he had last seen Thad, when he had accompanied his master into the castle for the first time. With his master’s blessing, he had sneaked through the long corridors toward where the servants told him were the new General’s quarters, wondering how Thad would react to seeing his childhood friend after six years. He found Thad’s rooms, knocked softly, and as he opened the door his eyes met the sight of Thad naked, his skin glistening in the soft light of the candles, his spine arching and his hips moving as he dove deeper into the soft body of the woman under him. He was beautiful and the image of him stayed fresh in Arieh’s mind – he couldn’t forget it, he couldn’t erase it from his mind and he knew that that was the precise moment the pure feelings of adoration he had harboured for Thad had shifted into something more physical, something more carnal. He wanted to feel Thad’s eyes on him, loving him, he wanted to touch Thad, bring him pleasure, wrap himself around him and never let go. He wanted for Thad to be his, only his, and for the past three years he had been drowning in desire for Thad, to hold him, to have him and to posses him.
“That should keep him resting for another day or two, and provide the rest his body needs to recover.” Jeroh pushed a leaf with a marble under Thad’s tongue.
Arieh stood up; from the carved wooden chest that stood by the door he took out a blanket and covered Thad with it. “Will he be all right?”
“Probably. We have done everything we could so that he would suffer as few of the consequences of the sentence as possible.” Jeroh pushed Thad’s eyelids up, revealing the redness of the cornea, where the veins had burst open, visible clearly in the light of lantern that was on the wooden box by the pallet. “And I think that with that, your debt has been repaid.”
“Debt, what debt?”
“I thought you knew. The herbs that eased your mother’s pain and prolonged her life - they were paid for by the General.” Jeroh, in his squatting position, leaned back on his heels. “Of course, he was still a recruit then, just a young boy who begged me to look after your mom, giving me his yearly allowance, everything he had.” He rubbed his neck. “I though that that was the reason why you were willing to risk a whipping to help him.”
“I didn’t know that.” But at least now he knew why Jeroh, who had a great sense of responsibility, had helped him as he had. Arieh combed through Thad’s black shoulder-length hair. “He should have told me that.” He was almost happy – Thad had thought of him when Arieh felt that Thad had forgotten him as soon as he left the slums – but sad that he hadn’t known that when his mother’s body was buried in the moist ground by the forest outside the city walls because a poor whore hadn’t had any place in the city’s cemetery., He had thought that he was left alone, and that the sorrow and loneliness would suffocate him.
“He asked me not to tell you, but he also told me about your love for plants and animals, introducing you as a perfect apprentice for a healer; he praised you so highly that I took you in even though I didn’t have any intention of searching for a successor at that time.”
“Old man, why didn’t you mention that before?”
“Because he was afraid that you would feel you owe him.”
Arieh buried his fingers in his short ash blonde hair, his eyes on Thad’s relaxed face. “I would be an ungrateful bastard if I didn’t.” Damn you, Thad, don’t make me fall even more for you, Arieh thought, something inside him urging him to lean down and to press his lips against Thad’s, which, in his master presence, he didn’t dare do.
“You better get some sleep now,” Jeroh said. “Early tomorrow morning you are taking him to the cottage.”
#
Arieh yawned and opened his eyes. The hushed evening light coming through the window drew shapes on the light brown blanket of the pallet on which he leaned. Two days had passed since they had arrived at the cottage, a single room with a hearth with an iron plate over it that served as a stove, a small table, three chairs and two pallets hidden behind the curtain that separated that third of the room from the other space. It also had a well in the clearing before it, where an herb and vegetable garden grew, and a small hut that served as a stable for a horse and storage for a cart.
Arieh lifted his head from the pillow of his arms and rubbed his eyes, then looked at his patient.
Azure eyes still red at the corners stared back at him.
Arieh’s heart started to flutter in his chest; in the past days he had desperately held onto the hope that the medicine he had given to Thad had saved him from brain damage, but what if it hadn’t? He would find that out now. He gave Thad a shaking smile as he pulled himself up, wincing at the pain and the stiffness in his legs. “I see you are awake. Do you want something to eat, to drink?”
“Arieh?” Thad’s voice cracked.
“Who’s that?” Arieh could breathe again. Thad seemed to be okay. But why was he lying to Thad? Did he still hold a grudge?
“Where am I?” Thad tried to lift his head.
“In my master’s cottage.” Arieh pushed Thad back onto the pillow. “Nobody knows about it, so you don’t have to worry. My master kept its location a secret, because he was afraid that town folks might try to gather herbs from his garden on their own, damaging all his hard work.”
“Why?”
“Why what?”
“Why am I here?”
“So that I can take care of you; and just in case the Queen decides that she isn’t finished with you and tries to find you.” Arieh combed black strands away from Thad’s face. “What did you do to her to get such a humiliating punishment?”
“Nothing.” Thad turned away.
“I don’t believe that.” Arieh, putting his hands on the pillow beside Thad’s head, leaned over him. “If you didn’t do anything you wouldn’t have accepted the punishment so easily.”
“You are as pushy as always.”
“How can you say that when you don’t even know me?”
Thad looked at Arieh and frowned. “I don’t know what game you are playing or why, but you should know that I would recognize you anywhere.” He reached out, hooked his hand around Arieh’s neck and pulled him down.
“The last time I saw you, you pretended I was a stranger.” Arieh didn’t try to deny it anymore, if Thad was as sure as he sounded there was no point; he rested his cheek on Thad’s shoulders.
“I’m sorry about that, but ...”
“But?”
“It was for your own good.” Thad put his hand on Arieh’s back. “In my position, friends are luxuries that I can’t afford. They make me weak and vulnerable to threats.” He stroked along Arieth’s spine. “Being close to me would put you in danger and give people leverage over me. That’s why I cut you off.”
So that’s what it was. Arieh sighed.
“I hurt you didn’t I? I’m sorry.” Thad wrapped his arm around Arieh’s shoulder, his lips against the top of Arieh’s head.
“I thought that my only friend that I had pushed me away,” Arieh whispered. “But then a few days ago master told me what you did for me.”
“I told him not to.”
“Why did you do it?” Arieh asked, a small hope blooming in his heart. Maybe, just maybe – no, he shouldn’t give himself false hopes. Or should he?
“Because you deserved better, because I could help you and not doing something just leaving you behind would have destroyed the pure you – I didn’t want to have that on my conscience.”
“Oh.” So Thad’s kindness had been the reason behind his help. Something squeezed Arieh’s heart; he chose to ignore it.
“And I wanted to protect my little princess.”
“Who are you calling a little princess?” Arieh wiggled out of Thad’s embrace and narrowed his eyes at him. “I let you tease me like that when we were little, but don’t call me that anymore; I’m a grown man. I’m almost as tall as you are.”
“I can see that.” Thad tried to pull himself up into a sitting position, just to fall back on the thin straw mattress. “Damn it. Why am I so weak?”
“Stupid, be thankful that strength is all you lack.” Arieh put his hand on Thad’s chest. It was funny, how quickly they fell back into the patterns of their childhood, when trust and support were a given; it was like nine years had never happened and it was just yesterday when they had wrestled in the mud, laughing and comforting each other, insecure about what the future would bring. But even when the feeling of closeness was familiar, it was different now; they were older, and even though Thad was now in some sort of exile, their stations were still different. Then there were Arieh’s feelings, the ones because of which he suddenly became aware of the warm skin beneath his palm. Redness dusted his cheeks and he drew his hand back. “Rest. I’ll bring you something to eat.”
#
The days passed by and strength returned to Thad’s body. He left the pallet, and though he limped a little when he walked, that didn’t stop him from exploring the forest and helping Arieh in the garden.
It was cosy and Arieh enjoyed every minute of it, his heart filling with so much happiness that it spilled forward, that it almost hurt. He had his best friend back. But there was a shadow hanging over them; Arieh could see it in subtle restlessness that became more obvious as Thad’s health improved, he just chose to ignore it.
“How come there are no people around?” Thad asked as he sat behind the table, while Arieh cooked their dinner, porridge.
“The closest village is two hours by foot and because the villagers think this part of the forest is haunted, they never wander here.” With the help of a cloth Arieh picked up the pot and put it on the table.
“How far is Paean? “
“Six hours.” Arieh ladled porridge into the clay bowls he had previously set out. “Why?”
“I will have to go back soon.” Thad took a bowl.
“What are you talking about?” Arieh sat down and took a spoon. “I hope you’re not serious.”
“I’ll have to go back.”
“She hanged you. You could have died or have brain bleeding.”
“You don’t understand.”
“Don’t understand what?” Arieh put the spoon down with more force than he intended.
“As soon the news of what happened to me reaches the King of Disoria he will attack the borders, if he hasn’t yet.”
“I knew that you had changed, but I didn’t know you’d gotten such a big ego. Just because you are not the General anymore, the world is not going to collapse. Nobody is going to attack Agiria.” They wouldn’t, would they? Thad was important, but not that important.
“It not me, it’s my image.” Thad sighed and rubbed the bridge of his nose. “It started because I was good at planning, anticipating the other party’s moves. That helped us to win against really stiff odds and suddenly I became invincible.” He leaned his elbows on the table. “When the faith of the people is on your side, you can’t lose.”
“Where was the people’s faith when you were dangling head-first?”
“What do you want me to do?”
“Stay here with me.”
Thad reached out and wrapped his fingers around Arieh’s wrist. “I would love to. It’s been great to see you, to catch up what is happening with your life, to spend time with you without the fear that somebody might use you to get to me. “
“But you can’t?” Arieh hung his head down. He did understand Thad, he didn’t want to, but he did; that was Thad, always thinking about everybody but himself.
“No, I can’t.” That’s thumb caressed Arieh’s skin.
“Why do you have to sacrifice yourself?”
“I see we are not going to see eye to eye on this; I won’t even try.” Thad released Arieh’s hand and grabbed his spoon. “But let us at least spend the time until I’m fully recovered without fighting.”
“Why can’t I persuade you to stay?”
“Because. And stop trying, please. Don’t ruin the time that’s left.” Thad picked up the spoon like he considered the conversation finished, and started to eat.
Arieh stared at his bowl. Somehow he had lost his appetite. He shoved the bowl away and stood up.
“Arieh?”
“I need some time alone.” Arieh, not looking at Thad, rushed out into the open. He went around to the back of the house and sat on the ground, under the window of the corner bedroom. He pulled his legs against his chest and wrapped his arms around them. Deep down he never believed that they would live forever in the cottage, but he hadn’t thought that their time together would be so limited. He didn’t believe in happily ever after, life was too full of surprises and unfortunate turns of events for happily ever after, and besides happily ever after would have to include Thad loving him the way he loved Thad and he couldn’t see that. But that would be okay, as long as he could be at Thad’s side, that would be okay, if only destiny wouldn’t tear Thad away from him again.
#
“I love you.” Arieh hadn’t meant to say that, but seeing Thad burdening his shoulder with the leather pouch containing the water for his trip back to the Paean, the main city, getting ready to say goodbye to him, Arieh couldn’t help but spill the words. This was probably the last time he would be able to talk with Thad, and even though as soon as the words left his mouth, the fear of Thad’s reaction urged him to run away, he stood rooted to the spot.
“I love you, too.” Thad put his hand on Arieh’s arm.
“I don’t love you as a friend. I love you as a lover would.” Arieh looked down at his feet, not wanting to see the rejection that must have appeared on Thad’s face.
“I love you, too. I always have.” The water skin fell on the ground as Thad wrapped his arm around Arieh’s waist and pulled him to his chest, while the other hand cupped Arieh’s neck.
“You bastard.” Arieh’s heart hammered in his chest and he choked on the swirl of emotions that squeezed his chest. How could Thad say that he loves him when he’s leaving? He tightly wrapped his arms around Thad. “You bastard, why are you telling me this now?” He buried his face into the worn cotton of Thad’s shirt.
“Because you confessed to me. You made me really happy.” Thad tousled Arieh’s ashen hair.
“You should lie to me,” Arieh murmured.
Thad moved his hands on Arieh’s shoulders and pulled him slightly back so that he could see Arieh’s green eyes. “But then I couldn’t do this.” He leaned forward and captured Arieh in a kiss, pulling him into the pit of sensual delight.
Arieh pushed his tongue against Thad’s, trying to reciprocate the titillating dance of seduction that made him dizzy and out of breath. Damn bastard, why did he have to do that? Why now? Why didn’t he just push him away? That would make everything so much easier.
The kiss ended and Arieh pushed Thad away. “You are making your leaving harder.”
“I’m sorry.”
“Don’t apologize. Stay.”
“Arieh –”
“Just one day more, please.”
“And than you would ask for another day, and another.” Thad picked up the water skin and pulled it onto his shoulder. “And I would be so wrapped up that I couldn’t say no to you.”
“I hate you.” Arieh stepped backwards.
“And I love you.” Thad stepped forward; he cupped Arieh’s neck and pulled him closer. He pressed a kiss on Arieh’s forehead. “I know that pushing you away would be easier, but knowing that you hate me – I wouldn’t be able to handle that.”
“I couldn’t do that, I could never hate you.”
“You just said that you do.” Thad pressed his cheeks against Arieh’s temple.
“I don’t really hate you.”
“I know.”
“Stop hanging around, you fool. You are making me miserable.”
“I’m sorry.” Another warm kiss, this one longer than the one before and then when it ended, Thad pressed another one, this time just a quick peck on the lips, before he whispered goodbye and turned toward the trail that led through the woods to the main road.
“Thad!”
Thad looked over his shoulder.
“Take the horse.” Arieh tilted his head in the direction where the draught horse grazed in the meadow beside the cottage. “Just return it to my master when you arrive.”
“What about the cart?”
“You can take it too if you want.”
“I didn’t mean that.”
“If you don’t intend to stay, just take the horse and go already.” Arieh turned and went back into the cottage, slamming the door behind him, knowing that he couldn’t stay and watch Thad’s back as he was leaving.
#
Arieh straightened from his squatting position, wiped his forehead with the back of his hand, pushing the hair that was now long enough to fall down over his brow out of the way, and looked at the sky, at the dark clouds that gathered and announced an autumn storm. He picked up the basket of herbs and vegetables, the last crop this year, and went back into the cottage.
He had never spent the winter in the cottage and even though master had asked him to return back to the city, Arieh couldn’t grant his request; returning to the city would be too arduous for his damaged heart. But he had listened to the latest news every time Jeroh came for a new supply of herbs.
It seemed that Thad had been right, the King of Disoria had attacked Agiria’s villages at the border and then advanced inward. If Thad hadn’t returned and lined up Agiria’s army, which had fallen into disarray during his absence, Disoria’s army would have reached the Risan, the second city of Agiria, and then Paean, the main city, plundering the villages and the towns on its way.
But why did Thad have to be the one? It wasn’t fair. It just wasn’t fair. Arieh removed two planks from the floor opposite the hearth, revealing the storage that kept the same temperature in every season, and put the herbs into their appropriate tins and the vegetables into the wooden boxes that were in the hole.
He was selfish, he wanted to be happy, he wanted Thad for himself, and if people got hurt because of it, so be it.
He sighed. No, he would never stand passively and watch people get hurt because of his wishes; Thad had done the right thing in leaving – not that that make things any less painful.
The shutter slammed against the wall, and the sound pulled Arieh out of his musing. He put the planks back in their place and rushed out, where the wind howled around the small house and bent the trees as if they were reeds. He managed to closed all four shutters just as the first heavy drops of rain started to wet the earth.
He stumbled inside, shutting and bolting the door behind him, then leaning against it, while outside the wind’s howl became louder, as did the clatter of the raindrops against the clay and straw roof.
In the months he had spent in the cottage he had gotten used to the place to the point it had become his home, and even though quite a few storms passed though the forest, the wind had never seemed so threatening, nor the brown walls so isolating.
In the semi-darkness he stumbled toward the table, where he first lighted the lantern, then sat down behind it. Maybe he should listen to his master and return to the city, and then whenever Thad paraded around with his soldiers to appease the people’s thirst to see their hero, he just wouldn’t stand crushed among the crowd, admiring the proud posture and stoic face as he used to do in the past, but would shut himself inside four walls, because seeing Thad now would hurt too much.
A bang against the door, a moment of silence, then another one. “Arieh! Arieh! Open the door.”
Arieh looked at the door. The voice sounded like Thad’s, but what would Thad be doing here? He was a general again, the Queen’s favourite one, and Arieh doubted that the Queen would let Thad leave her side, now that she had seen his worth. He stood up and went toward the door. “Who is it?”
“It’s me, Thad. Open up.”
“Thad? What are you doing here?” This must be some kind of trick. Thad was in the city, in the castle, enjoying the luxury the court offered. But nobody else except him and the master knew about the cottage.
“Arieh, just open the door already.”
Arieh pulled the bolt aside and opened the door. Thad pushed past him, and then helped him defy the wind, which shoved against the door and carried inside rain, leaves and parts of torn branches, to close the door and bolt it.
“Talk about timing.” Thad started to peel the wet clothes from his body. “If I had known that the storm was coming I would have come earlier or waited for it to pass.”
Arieh blinked; he reached out with the need to touch Thad, to confirm that he was really here, but then, on second thought, he withdrew his hand. If this was just an illusion he didn’t want to break it. He moved to the table and slumped into a chair. What was Thad doing here?
“Do you have something for me to wear?” Thad stood in the middle of the room, naked, leather, wool and cotton in a wet heap at his feet.
Arieh pointed at one of three simple wooden chests that stood beside the curtain that divided the room into two spaces. He sighed and leaned his cheek on his hand, watching Thad walk toward the chest, then admired the play of muscles on Thad’s back as he rifled through the clothes and pulled on simple black pants with bindings in the waist and ankles. Arieh was happy to see Thad, he really was, but... this was so sudden. And what did it meant? He doubted that Thad would stay with him, and if he didn’t mean to stay with him – then why? He was the General again; the reasons why Thad ignored his existence were the same. “What are you doing here?”
“I expected a warmer welcome.” Thad donned a light brown tunic, closed the chest, turned and padded barefoot toward Arieh. With both hands he grabbed the back of the chair and then leaned over Arieh.
“You walked out on me.”
“I came back.”
“For how long?”
“For as long as you want.”
Arieh stared disbelieving into Thad’s eyes, trying to read the lie from Thad’s face – but Thad never lied; he evaded the truth, but never lied. “What about queen and country?”
Thad squatted down before Arieh, his hands now on the edge of the chair’s seat, on either side of Arieh’s legs. “Do you remember when you asked me what I had done to the Queen to end up on my head?”
Arieh nodded.
“She wanted me for her lover and I declined.”
“Why would you? It’s not like you are a virgin; wouldn’t it be easier to accept her proposal?” Not that Arieh disagreed with Thad staying away from Queen’s bed. If Thad had to end up in any bed, it should be Arieh’s.
“Yes, it would be easier, but not smart; since after she gets bored with her lovers she beheads them. “
“Oh.” Arieh hadn’t known that. “But what does that have to do with you coming back?”
“She tried to persuade me again,” Thad said. “But this time, after I rejected her, I wasn’t ready to calmly suffer through her tantrum and allow her to jeopardize our country again.” He smiled. “I guess one hanging is enough to see things from another perspective, but that wasn’t the only thing that changed my mind.” He took hold of Arieh’s hands. “Before, the only thing I lived for was my duty and my position and when that was taken away from me, nothing was left. But this time, I have you.”
Arieh squeezed Thad’s fingers. Thad’s last words had created bubbles of delight inside him, and they floated inside him, enveloped him with the warmth of sunshine, which he could swear he could feel tingling inside his skin. “What about your sense of duty? I know you, you are still the same, the people’s welfare takes precedence over your own happiness. What if Disoria attacks us again, what then?”
“Why would they?” Thad stood up, still holding Arieh’s hands. “Nobody except the Queen and the High Counsellor know that I’m gone.”
“What about the soldiers? And the townsfolk? If they don’t see you here and there, they will start to wonder what happened to you.”
Thad pulled Arieh up. “You are talking like you don’t want me here. Don’t you want me by your side? ”
“Of course I want you.” Arieh said. “It’s just... if you let me get used to us being together and then return to the castle because of your strong sense of duty, I don’t think I would be able to forgive you. I want you to be sure.”
“I am sure. I have never been as sure of anything in my life as I am now.” Thad lifted Arieh’s hands, turned them and pressed a kiss first on the left hand, then on the right. “And you are right. If another threat comes to Agiria I will return, but only temporarily, but until that happens-- if it ever happens -- I’m staying with you. And don’t worry, I thought about the soldiers and appearing before the people to give them reassurance, that’s why in these last months whenever I appeared in public I wore my visor down. Now, as long as the Queen has my armour, she only needs somebody to parade as me.”
“So you are really staying?” Arieh pulled his hands from Thad’s gentle hold and wrapped his arms around Thad’s shoulders.
“Yes.”
Suddenly Arieh felt giddy and light-headed. “You are really staying?”
“Of course.”
“You know that some people would call you a fool for giving up all that prestige in favour of living with another man in a poor cottage.”
“Well those people don’t know what they are talking about. And I choose companionship with somebody I love over loneliness in a golden cage.” Thad leaned closer, he pressed his lips against Arieh’s and entangled them into a passionate kiss.
Arieh opened to the rich passion that poured out of Thad into him, that sated the longing that for so long had clawed at his heart. The almost violent joy that he finally held in his arms the one he had secretly wanted caught up with him and the euphoria crashed down on him, he couldn’t breathe; he was so happy he couldn’t breathe. And all that was needed to deliver Thad into his arms was the Queen’s tantrum and one hanging. Not that he was going to thank her for that.