v2.00
It's strange that I never truly suspected that my universe and everything in it were just dreams, visions, fiction!
How could I have been so blind when everything around me is so openly and hysterically insane—like all dreams? I can't help but think about a God who could have made good children just as easily as bad, yet chose to create bad ones; who had the power to make each of us truly happy, yet never granted a single one of us genuine joy.
If God truly knows my heart, then why does it feel like I've never encountered a single decent Christian?
Not one! Not a single person who genuinely embodies what it means to be Christ-like.
Why can't God place even one decent person in my life to serve as a light? Instead, this God has made me cherish my bitter existence, only to threaten to cut it short without mercy.
He granted his angels eternal happiness without them earning it,
yet demands that I and others like me must struggle and suffer to earn ours.
He burdened me with terrible disabilities, a painful childhood, awful parents,
and a hypocritical and abusive Christian wife, and still expects me to find happiness?
He gave his angels painless lives, yet cursed me with relentless miseries and maladies of both mind and body.
He taunts me with dreams of heaven and talks about justice, yet created hell—a place of eternal torment.
He speaks of mercy but still dangles the threat of endless damnation if I don’t comply perfectly.
He preaches about Golden Rules and forgiveness multiplied by seventy times seven, yet forsakes me—one of the few who truly loves Him—by holding this image of hell over my head.
He commands me to live by biblical morals that he doesn’t even follow himself;
He condemns crimes, yet commits every one of them.
He promises redemption, yet constantly threatens condemnation if I don't comply enough.
He created me without my consent, then shifts the responsibility onto me for everything I do, instead of honorably taking the blame himself, where it belongs.
He claims to have taken all the world's sin onto Himself through Jesus, yet makes our very nature one of instinctual sin.Â
And finally, with an utterly divine arrogance, he expects me, after all of this, to worship him!
v1.00
It's strange that I never truly suspected my universe and everything in it were just dreams, visions, fiction!
How could I not see it, when everything is so openly and hysterically insane—like all dreams?Â
I think about a God who could have made good children just as easily as bad, yet chose to create bad ones; who could have made every one of us happy, yet never granted a single one of us true joy.Â
If God truly knows my heart, then why do I feel like I've never met another decent Christian? Not one! Not a single one!
Never in my life have I met someone who truly acts and behaves Christ-like. Why can't God make a single decent person and put them in my life as a light?
This God made me cherish my bitter life and yet threatens to cut it short without mercy.
He gave his angels eternal happiness without them earning it, yet demands that I and others like me must earn ours.
He gave me terrible disabilities, a terrible childhood, terrible parents, a hypocrite, an abusive Christian wife, yet still expects me to be happy?
He gave his angels painless lives, yet cursed me with biting miseries and maladies of both mind and body.
He taunts me with dreams of heaven and talks about justice, yet created hell—
He speaks of mercy and still dangles the threat of eternity in hell if I fail to comply—
He preaches Golden Rules and forgiveness multiplied by seventy times seven, yet forsakes me, one of the few who truly love Him by holding this image of hell over my head.
He tells me to live by biblical morals that he doesn’t follow himself; he condemns crimes, yet commits every one of them.
He promises redemption yet threatens condemnation if I don't willingly comply enough.Â
He created me without my consent, then tries to shuffle the responsibility on me for everything I do, instead of honorably taking the blame himself, where it belongs.
He claims that He Himself have taken all the world's sin onto Himself through Jesus, yet makes our very nature nothing by instinctual sin.
And finally, with an utterly divine arrogance, he expects me, after all of this, to worship him!
8/13/2024Â 1230
Strange, indeed, that you should
not have suspected that your
universe and its contents were only dreams, visions, fiction!Â
Strange, because they are so frankly and hysterically insane--
like all dreams:Â
a God who could make good
children as easily as bad,
yet preferred to make bad ones;
who could have made every one of them happy,
yet never made a single happy one;
who made them prize their bitter life, yet stingily cut it short;
who gave his angels eternal
happiness unearned,
yet required his other
children to earn it;Â
who gave his angels painless lives,
yet cursed his other children with biting miseries and maladies
of mind and body;
who mouths justice and invented hell--
mouths mercy and invented hell--
mouths Golden Rules, and forgiveness multiplied by seventy times seven,
and invented hell;
who mouths morals to other people and has none himself; who frowns upon crimes,
yet commits them all;
who created man without invitation,
then tries to shuffle the responsibility for man's acts upon man, instead of honorably placing it where it belongs, upon himself;
and finally, with altogether divine obtuseness, invites this poor,
abused slave to worship him!...