Embedded Files
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good good morning I'm well how are you doing
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well what's on your agenda for our meeting do uh do most clients prepare
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their own agenda um some do some don't some do
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yeah um it's one of those answers again that you give uhhuh I mean it's true some do
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some don't well I have a short a short list today actually okay but I'm so glad I
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got to see you this week because yeah um a lot is coming up well let's yeah you
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have a you have a big Monday if call yep yeah let's start with scheduling our next visit when is it NE next week next
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Thursday yes let me grab my calendar if that's all right just start with that I'm pretty sure my uh pretty sure that
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day is fairly open yeah you're you're choice in the morning 8 9 10 11 11 yep
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11 I I have a hard time I I this was a good time if 10 10 o'clock would have been too early for me
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today so what day is that next July Thursday July 11th oh oh
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oh that's that's was supposed to be a uh triumphant day and now I don't know that
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we we'll get to talking about that but Trump's uh sentencing got delayed La I don't know if you heard that it's not I
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saw that it's not going to happen on July 11th if it happens at all it's going to happen in
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September all well I guess if he goes to jail right before the election that would definitely hurt him um but he's
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probably not gonna well we'll get into that okay that's something that's weighing heavily on me yeah
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um so yes this coming Monday I'm still set to go down to the
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Springfield Court um did I tell you about the paperwork last week it's not
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that hard it's I yeah I seem to recall you mentioning that it it was fairly
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straightforward so I've got the paperwork I called the court on Monday and they're pretty helpful they've got
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clerks and stuff that will help make sure the paperwork's correct and that's
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all that matters in this case cuz we don't need a lawyer I and lawyers are like 5,000 if
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we went if we each got one it would be 5,000 each or there's mediators that you
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can pay for like 2,000 and they would
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um um you know take care of all the paperwork but in this case we don't have
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anything to fight for I've thought a lot about the really the only part of the
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paperwork that you write something other than just just filling out the forms is the irretrievable breakdown
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affidavit M and for that I think I've got the perfect short summary it's that
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I'm a disabled veteran and I had way more issues than she could handle and
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that is why the marriage is beyond broken cuz she just can't she just can't
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do it well and and I've got but I've got defined disabilities she does not have any defined disabilities
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even though I think it might be it might be one of those things that it doesn't really matter what you put there well
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that's why keep it short keep it short and not put that you know it was abuse
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or you know what I mean or make it that's something I think she could agree with okay yeah you're disabled and have
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way too many issues yeah it's so that would be
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good so I'm nervous about it I was supposed to print the paperwork out I haven't done that
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yet I need to do that by by Monday really and
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just I got to order ink for my printer that's I should just write that down I'm
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going to order ink I want to do that today as soon as we get done um CU then I can just print the
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papers myself because you fill out you can fill out the forms on the computer and print them out filled out PDF yeah
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so but they have a packet apparently and these are just some of the papers in the
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packet so I might even have to refill it out there which would be totally fine if I brought copies that I thought about so
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I can just copy them over you know what I mean yeah yeah order order ink I'm
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writing that down Inc I got to do that today um using a to-do list I love it
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all right well I am quite handy I'm quite well here's the problem and here's
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what ultimately if there was a goal of our therapy of what you can do for me right
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is well first off you're you're definitely the single person I talk to
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the most right now which is kind of sad and actually that's something else I wanted to talk about
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um so you get to know me but our goal in therapy would be to get me more functional right get me out doing
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something um so that's a heavy order for you so good
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luck um but also it could be a success case and it should be it it it should be
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a success case for both of us and I mean
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you you you've done Master's work in and mental health counseling and you you put you're
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putting a lot of the onus on the therapist and from my understanding is that the the the best therapy happens
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when the client themselves make the changes and does the work yeah yeah except in the movies the therapist is
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always like they do night visits they do phone calls yep and they offer these like
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perfect on liners that are just like the most yeah perfect coping strategy yeah
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well okay they have these big beards and so I've got to um actually so all I'm
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disappointed in my family personally I like they all have their own lives and I
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just expect them to I don't know I would be their best friend if they if if they
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wanted like I mean I'm a little upset nobody wants to spend like any kind of extended time
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with me I mean they see me here and there but they don't want to come over and visit and spend time with me and
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that's probably because I don't know they they they doubt
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how um how good of a time they'll have or something I don't know they might think I'm crazy still or it's sad that
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they don't take the time to really get to know who I am like for example I would like to text message somebody all
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day long about just random stuff or interesting information I'm learning about and I tend to overwhelm them if I
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send them too many text messages like it might not even about be about personal
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problems it might be just something really fast fascinating I'm learning about you know but they all have their
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own lives and they're too you know they're not so my goal is I
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need to find that person for me somebody I need that that I can spend all day with and and text message my my thoughts
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about astronomy and philosophy like um yeah like I actually got very upset the
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other day about something um oh it was Sunday and Mia oh my sweet Mia she's uh
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she's 16 she's my stepdaughter she texted me like um something like you
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know what are you what are you doing today how are you you know or she said what are you doing today so I so I said
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back to her I'm um well I've been doing bird watching lately which is very interesting and I got some great Bird
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videos oh bird bird watching is quite fun um yeah I really just put bird food
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out on my porch railing they come to me but um anyways I also said and this is
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the more heavier subject I said well I'm working on a video about the existence
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of Free Will from a philosophical perspective and then and in the video I
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was working on involves Pascal's wager so I felt the need to describe that to
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her like the the which is pretty simple idea you're familiar with Pascal's wager
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pretty basic philosophy would you like a reminder yes please oh sure oh it's
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super simple well it's it's an it's an argument for the existence of God um
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that breaks it down into basically there's only um you either do believe or
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you don't believe and God either exists or he doesn't so that makes four options and really only one of the four options
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is a winner the first one being you do believe in God and God exists and that
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means you get eternal life which that's the best scenario out of the four the other three scenarios are you don't
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believe in God and God does exist and then you get Eternal punishment so that's bad and the other two are you do
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believe God exists but there is no God in which case nothing really matters and the other one would be you don't believe
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in God and God doesn't exist and then um also nothing really matters so it's
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Pascal's wager meaning it's best to bet that God does exist and behave as if you
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do okay so that's a breakdown of Pascal's wager but as you can imagine that's a
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bit heavy Philosophy for a 16-year-old to Handle by text message nonetheless um
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but I nailed it like as far as I don't think she really has read it or understands it but I that's the kind of
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stuff I like talking about like all day long yeah did I not explain that quite well yeah I it made perfect sense to me
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right right okay well you're an adult so that's helpful um for her um but
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anyways what ended up making me kind of sad was uh a few months ago I went to go
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visit my dad and he um it was at like 9:00 at night and he he wasn't pleased
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that I came to visit him to put it shortly um and it's just I don't know
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maybe it's because I have daughters but if my if either of my daughters came to visit me any time of day especially if
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they needed something I would you know let them in and thank them for coming and visiting like cuz who's better to
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help them if they have a problem than me right right so maybe it's more
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protective o over daughters I'm saying and Sons are just different I perhaps
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that's an excuse yeah um perhaps you could just have you could have a different perspective on on your role as
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a parent versus your dad in that particular content it's just but that's what that's ultimately what made me
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really sad was I would have been that kind of parent where I would be teaching
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my child pretty Advanced philosophy and just loving them so
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much and it's a shame that I don't get to have a child to pour that into do
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that make sense like it's like a waste so but hey that's kind of what
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social media is for and not just public social media but using all of the social
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media you you can post it privately for your own journal or whatever it's a good
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good place to explore thoughts and and at least cuz I'm constantly coming up
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with cool material and if I don't write it down or post it you know I used to
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make websites and I used to have so I've got I've got a lot of writing I I write
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constantly all cool all for example like my own summary of Pascal's wager is
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something I just wrote I even ran it through the AI to help help um come up
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with even more concise language you know for stuff like that um
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yeah so that made me really sad uh that but again I've got to find that on my
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own in the world um last companionship like it what I hear is
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like the desire for when people talk about their soulmate like that's yeah
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and that's what I hear you describing last week I talked to you about dink wads you know right now
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right now I'm a squad a single income no kids with a dog and and I I need to just
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Embrace that's what I am right now right I'm just a single
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income with a dog meaning I don't have kids right now to to that costs a ton of money
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so um and while you're that there while you're a s quad you know at this current
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time and day that doesn't necessarily mean you'll always be a s quad right correct so I need to start doing stuff
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so that's the I guess if that's the that should be the ultimate point of our counseling would be to get me out
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doing stuff but I have a few other things on my list I want to talk about which do not really well they ultimately
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contribute to my stableness I guess so I got to get these things under control in
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order to even go function normally okay last time we talked we talk last
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Thursday afternoon and I don't know if you watched the debate on Thursday
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evening did did you watch it or get coverage of it I saw I saw clip what
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were your thoughts on it um we're screwed yeah it was a little
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depressing exactly um yeah it was so I was depressing I was
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thinking um I'm sure it's going to be a very popular time but like November 5th I'm thinking
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like the week after that if I could book like extra counseling sessions I
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probably will need them like maybe every day for a week you know November 6th 7th
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8th something like that I might even just head down to the VA and hang out there all day I might be having that
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much of issues I might I'm I'm anticipating that I I I I could go on
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want to meltdown and now and just to just to amplify the importance of the
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president of the United States um the Supreme Court recent
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decision that's why the uh Trump sentencing got delayed because the
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Supreme Court kicked it back down to a lower court which is Judge chucken I
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don't know if you watched the specific courts um she's a good one but the Supreme Court is um like three six evil
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right six six out of them are are not good people right they're and it's just if Trump got back
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in he could even pack the court even more I hope Joe Biden you know he could
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theoretically pack the court he could add five seats to make it 13 which
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there's no rule against that so he could pack the court with five good people and just outbalance it right now it's just
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that can never be undone the Supreme Court would then be 13 um
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right um so although the good news
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is that with the recent decision if the president does have immunity now Joe Biden I don't think has
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the balls to do this but he could just immediately arrest and assassinate Don Donald Trump legally for national
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security purposes and and and we're not getting in any trouble of it so that would be good if he could do something
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like that but democ atic presidents aren't going to break the law like this but there's that's how important this
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upcoming election is cuz we're determining whether we want the law to get fully broken like the Constitution
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will be almost gone it could be almost gone if we if they give the president ultimate power he could get rid of it
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and not get in trouble or something it's it's quite
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complicated boy so I'm very worried about that
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that's pretty important stuff yeah it's certainly tumultuous and
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it's going to be a rough few months leading up to the election in terms of just the the media coverage of it is uh
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yeah they're not they they're not I don't expect them to get better at it
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either I mean it's a election year is always rough it is
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this year it's just given the the the situation it's just
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even feels even more rough yeah it does and that's and that's hard to
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um that's I'm having a hard time processing it so that's what I mean by I
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have to get that sort of stuff under control in my own Consciousness in order
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for me to function better and maybe go um you know do stuff I would I'm really
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serious about I think I'm going to sign up for Uber and do and do a little bit of ubering um okay it's it's the perfect
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job for me right now because it's super casual like I can do it whenever I want
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whenever I feel like it whenever I'm sober to drive yeah that that's a
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motivation uh but also just a place to drive around like and get paid for it and I
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don't know and it would just get me out and get me used to being out and then I'll transition to my career job
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boom sounds like good practice Yeah so you know my my parents are suggesting I
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do I should just go do like volunteer work somewhere which I've considered I'm
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not sure what um I was thinking about
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going to the hospital the local hospital with Marty and maybe I could like walk
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around and be and like he you know he makes people smile you know what I mean sometimes
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they have that and I could just chitchat with people um a therapy dog or something yeah and and if not the
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hospital there is a VA Clinic around here I could just go there and just hang
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out in the waiting room with Marty and and talk to veterans that are coming and
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going just yeah you know what I mean yeah I don't know what they're
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what their uh rules are there so I I don't know I would ask them if I could do it as like community service just
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yeah it would be it would be for the benefit of I'm certain that I could get
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in and do that if um so somewhere
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somewhere what about some of the volunteer services here at the VA we have the volunteer services it's a bit
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far away although I do like going to the VA now I I could drive down I could see myself driving down there especially if
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I could do something like that at the Albany VA with Marty um yeah
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uh I wonder if there's if there's the volunteer services here that
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know of community places that maybe there's organizations that the VA works with in your area that that might be a
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good I would I would call um the social worker for that I I had a
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good one I think she left and I don't know if they gave me a new one they like they give you uh for adjustment like
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when you first move um but they're great at like re
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connecting and stuff and the one that I had she also did Psychotherapy it was a
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her name was Emily I don't know I what her last forgot what her last name was
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but she gave me some counseling which I thought was well it was some it was somebody to talk to right which is yeah
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yeah but um oh I I think she what was she she might have been licensed
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clinical social worker which is a very similar job to the
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lmhc that that I'm going for oh and did I tell you I had a crazy idea that maybe
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if I do Uber enough I'm sure I'll find people that are having issues in life
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and need someone to talk to and I could do either like C kind of very
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casual um consultations I wouldn't even call it counseling um yeah that can get
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into some murky legal well if you just find imagine you you jump in a cab and
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you you just had a fight with your girlfriend it might be fun to talk to somebody about that yeah not as a
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counselor but um pretty helpful to talk to like if somebody especially if
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they're having like a little crisis in their life and they and they hire an Uber to go an hour away hey that's an
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hour to talk to if they want it's it was not something I would you know force on anybody yeah yeah it's definitely a
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place to it could I figured maybe one out of 20 people might might want to
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like really talk about stuff and then and who knows maybe I'll make some friends that's also what I'm thinking is
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maybe I'll just make some friends who knows yeah um speaking of friends uh I
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did just make a friend the downstairs neighbor moved out and a new guy just
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moved in and I just I went I've talked to him a few times he's an army
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veteran cool um definitely partly insane also just like me takes medicine and um
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although he was he had six um deployments but oh wow sometime yeah he
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the Army is a different Beast altogether from the Marine Corps the Army is much
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much bigger like than the Marine Corps like it's really big it's
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um it's totally different Beast than the Marine Corps and the Marine Corps is really what I know you know so it's fun
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so I I made a new friend I've got a lot to talk about oh yeah cool so yeah yeah and maybe that they the
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management might have done that on purpose you know if he was moving and they know I'm a veteran put him
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downstairs that makes sense yeah um
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well we got really got through my list that was the major stuff um I thought I
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was going to spend more time on the podus Meltdown um but I guess I yeah helped me
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contextualize this in a more normal fashion to not like I foresee it being
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so important and so consequential I think maybe the smarter you are the more
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you realize how consequential things are so you might get you might worry about
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it more than people that don't know like they might not realize how important the president is they might not realize that
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that you know the president his cabinet members are the like the tops of all of
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the federal agencies that you know run the country that all the federal agencies you know from the VA to the you
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know housing the EPA one thing that breaks my heart what with
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Trump when he first got in Scott puit he put in as the head of the EPA and this
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was a guy who previously sued the EPA like 50 times like and so I feel like
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every every single cabinet pick for Trump was the exact opposite of who
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would have been good for the world you know so I just how much incalculable
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damage did Scott puit do to the en ironment like permanent
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changes you know and there's only so much the next guy can fix yeah and there's a lot we might you
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know never know oh there's that's actually the scariest part is is yeah
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thinking about what we'll never know well so that's what's so horrifying about a second Trump Administration
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is it would be worse obviously it would be it would descend into a full-time dictatorship like I mean that's exactly
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what it would do and it it could destroy the country I mean is that is that too much to think like and I'm sure I don't
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think that's hyperbole either um like yeah I mean that's that's off
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kind of sometimes what I've wondered like looking at at the political
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situation and and how it's discussed in the media or on Reddit or on other forums and stuff and it is very
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um it the way it's talked about it it's life or death and you know I I
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personally find myself sometimes like going down that rabbit
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hole of like oh my God what's happening but then there's a part of me that's kind of like wait like what if what if
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some of this is blown out of proportion and that that I'm kind of like feeding into this machine kind of like what the
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other side is you know it's yeah I don't know and like unfortunately
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like we don't know so we know and by that time it's too
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late I just I I I assume probably a lot of people don't have nearly the amount
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of time that I have to think about this stuff so the more I think about it the
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more I learn about it and just the more the deeper you get terrifying it
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gets right so by but now the solution I can't go backwards in time and unlearn
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stuff I can't I can't just stop learning about it I need to continue learning
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although I foresee myself this campaign season I'm going to have to kick it into high gear in some direction to help the
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campaign overall the all the Democratic campaigns from top to bottom um but I
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don't know how how I could effectively do that I don't need to go door too I'm not going to be doing phone calls
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um something else something else more fun like I I've gotten command over video
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editing and I've got a I told you before I have a quite a mass of videos now like
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well over 2,000 videos are are out there wow ranging all sorts of things a lot of
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them are me playing guitar and singing which I think is kind of fun like at least a thousand of them are just me
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playing you know what I mean it's very benign but yet cool especially if you like that sort of stuff stuff yeah um
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which not many people do but some people do but that I but I've got a lot of other content like I told you I was
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making that video about the mere existence of Free Will what do you think about that it's a very existential
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philosophical question but do we live in a deterministic universe where it's just
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you don't really have free will you just you do whatever your brain tells you to do and that is is set in motion by
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everything that happened before and there's a just a predetermined outcome so there is no free will right
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we're just now that's to assume we're not even living in a you know computer
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simulation where again you would not have free will you're just a computer program doing stuff that you're
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programmed to do so it's kind of a big question right do we have free
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will yeah I don't know I don't know have you thought deeply about this oh yeah
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you have okay I don't I I don't think we have
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free will because I think a lot of what oh that a lot of what we think and
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do and behave it's it's determined based on our environment like I could say I
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want a cheeseburger right now and I can't I don't have the free will to to
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eat a cheeseburger right now like it's the the universe is determined that I can notot have a cheeseburger right now
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how would have to like go out and walk and get one but now I'm walk like now I'm walking to get a hamburger or a
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cheeseburger now like I don't have free will I'm not so yeah I'm going to get a cheeseburger but it's determined on my
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environment that it's that the cheeseburger was not here and the the future president is already determined
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so all of our hard work is meaningless like there's a big consequence to there
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being no free will there's a huge consequence it it to me it leads to nihilism which nothing really really
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matters because if I'm determined to just sit in my apartment alone for the rest of my life and not really influence
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the outside world maybe that's I've got no choice if that happens or not now I'm
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choosing to engage with the outside world because I believe it to be meaningful and it will have an impact
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now this it breaks down to par like parallel universes multiple universes like Schoener cat quantum physics are
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you familiar with that so oh yeah yeah yeah we you know I I and I don't I don't
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necessarily think that my outcome has already been determined from like a like
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a timeline perspective where all my decisions have already been made for me
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but but everything in the world is interconnected in such a way that
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decisions that I made before you know are going to impact a trajectory which then has impacted this current place and
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that that will keep happening and that it's it's predicated on my environment
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which isn't which I I can be presented with an assortment of choices and maybe I have a semblance or an idea of free
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will that I can choose between these choices sure there's some there's some agency there but you know I'm I'm still
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Bound by my environment some some sense and so that's very deterministic man
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that's yeah kind of depressing even cuz if that's true which I agree that
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there's no way to know which one's true yeah um I mean it comes out of just my
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studying of behaviorism oh Behavior so then that kind of makes your job pointless then because you can't change
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anything because everything no we can well you you I guess you can it's I
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don't know I guess is it meaningful so I guess I guess I like there's a a much
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older um I think it came out of the Protestant Revolution this concept of
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predetermination where God already knows if you're going to heaven or not right so now if you discover that you are
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predetermined to go to heaven then you oh this is really important this is my
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conclusion to the um the Free Will question considering Pascal's wager
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right considering the options of there's only one good opt out of the four options
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whether now believe in God believe in Free Will are all interchangeable it's the same concept cuz without God then
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that we are probably deterministic the universe is completely
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deterministic um but anyways again remember I was telling you last week that after really thinking about
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nihilism it wasn't helpful like there's no good good thoughts that come out of
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that the point of My Free Will video is that Studies have shown even though
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science can't prove God or free will or whatever especially with quantum physics
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has actually suggested that there might be an infinite number of parallel universes crazy quantum physics but
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anyways studies show that people that do believe in God and do believe in Free Will and do believe that the world is
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not deterministic that we do shape it with our thoughts and actions do better
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than people that don't studies show that that you're it's it's a better strategy
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for you to be successful if you believe that God is real and all things have purpose and meaning like all things so
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every word that you speak to a client matters deeply matters because you could
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potentially sway this person on a path of which way you know the good path or
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the bad path have you ever studied the um dowy ching
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yeah a little bit are you familiar with the doubted long it was a long time ago
34:04
I wouldn't say I'm familiar with it but I I've encountered it I can read a little bit about it it's a good it's it
34:10
I find it to be it has Sim similar similar parallels
34:18
to scripture it's not nearly as as as um
34:23
important as scripture or as weighted as it has as much gravity as script scripture but it's on the same exact
34:31
Spirit of scripture even though it was created on the other side of the world
34:36
around the same time as the Old Testament so it's it's older than the New Testament right the daed Ching we're
34:42
talking about the the path I believe it translates to from ancient Chinese the
34:47
cool thing about it is there's like 40 or 50 or 100 I forgot how many verses
34:54
but um because it's ancient ch is very similar to translating ancient Hebrew
35:00
there's lots of ways to translate one sentence in English like lots of ways so
35:06
there's hundreds of translations of the doubted Ching but they're all pretty
35:11
good even I find it quite interesting that I almost believe that to be a proof
35:19
of God that God was influencing the world in the Old Testament you know in
35:26
um you know the Middle East ancient Egypt area and ancient China it was the
35:32
same sort of unless they both came to it independently which is also quite possible the ideas
35:39
of there is a correct path yeah I've often heard a a a
35:46
metaphor for this it's like um different religions and spiritualities and
35:52
philosophies are all kind of like fingers that are pointing at the Moon where like the Moon is like God or the
35:59
capital D truth and that they're all pointing at the same thing they're all
36:04
trying to get to that same thing but it's like which is Enlightenment let's just call that that that thing
36:11
Enlightenment that yeah and and that all of these are just different systems and
36:17
modalities of trying to get to the same thing right oh I like that that's that's
36:25
good and then when you look at that it's like then then when you start comparing
36:31
religions it's like comparing apples to oranges or when you take things from one
36:36
context and try to compare it to another it's like with with the exception of the Cults they they Define themselves among
36:44
the religions as false religions most of the Cults yeah yeah that's like although the big
36:52
the big ones um well obviously my my favorite would be Christianity and
36:58
Judaism and I believe they go together extremely well
37:05
um so wait a minute I wanted to finish my thought on
37:12
uh so oh so the the point of the Free Will and deter and deter versus
37:21
determination uh determinism uh deterministic universe
37:27
is it led me to this other really profound thought that I've been I've been thinking about quite
37:33
frequently and now you're not really I don't think you're a professed uh believing Christian but
37:41
or a or um devout Jew so you might not be able to answer this question the way
37:47
that I'm looking for but correct my thought process if it's
37:52
wrong because you're pretty good with logic here ready so
37:59
if um if prayer is conscious contact with
38:06
God deliberate conscious contact with God and then you become a believing
38:13
Christian and there is a scripture I believe it's in 2 Corinthians chapter 10
38:20
where it says allow every thought to become captive by Christ so if all of your thoughts are in
38:27
a ignment with with Jesus right then and
38:33
and remember prayer is conscious contact with God then every thought should be
38:40
kind of weighted the same as a prayer so every thought throughout the day is a
38:46
prayer now well first off does that logic make sense if prayer is conscious contact
38:52
with God and you're a Christian and you allow Jesus to capture every thought then every thought is a prayer
39:02
yeah I supp okay it could be semantics but the the point is I I had to I asked
39:08
around and I could and and of course no one I don't really get a lot of answers from anybody even on social media it's
39:14
kind of sad I don't even really have any friends there um so I asked the AI and it mentioned something that well both in
39:21
Christianity and in Judaism prayer is a little bit more
39:27
deliberative than just constant thoughts it is directly you know confessing and
39:34
surrendering and asking like you're you're really you're you're consciously
39:40
asking God for what you want and need um but both Christianity and
39:46
Judaism have very clear um it it's very clear that if you
39:54
have a commitment to God then you go out in the world and do stuff it's not just communication it's also
40:00
action in the world so it's both you've got to do the communication and you know
40:08
walk the walk yeah build hospitals and schools and help orphans and um you have
40:14
to do those things that are good for the world yeah absolutely so that was my
40:19
conclusion to my deep thoughts of um of does the presidential race matter
40:27
is there existing Free Will Pascal's wager um into back to
40:34
nihilism um back to all and then concluding with there is meaning and
40:40
purpose to all things and now I need to go do something in the world I need to
40:45
eventually start my career and believe me you've taught me a lot
40:50
good sir um with the way you answer questions like you keep it focused and I
40:56
really like that cuz if it was up to me if you answered my questions we would go down rabbit holes
41:03
and um lose the focus but you do have to help me get get get through this and get
41:11
working I guess so get give me goals or
41:18
something you've I mean you've mentioned the goals of working before and we've we've gone through the um what you need
41:26
to get there in terms of res building and and working on
41:31
that you know what to do I do know what to do but I won't do it on my
41:36
own why not well at least as quickly because I guess
41:43
I I like um being a philosopher hermit I
41:49
guess I I it's comforting and it's safe it's very safe like I don't do
41:55
anything dangerous at all right now except except poison my health with you
42:00
know tobacco and alcohol and and that's
42:06
that's killing me slowly but at least I'm not in danger of the outside world
42:12
really like uh I'm still very afraid of the outside world
42:17
um going back out there yeah yeah so what do you want to work on
42:25
between now and next session then I guess yeah I gotta now that I'm articulating
42:32
it um like I don't jump out of bed being like yes I want to go somewhere like I
42:38
get out of bed and I'm like I'm happy to be in a safe apartment with all of my stuff exactly the way I leave it living
42:46
alone yeah but I just I don't know I go to the grocery store it's really all I go it's really all I
42:53
do take I take the dogs out a lot I walk them a lot but you know I need to get up and and go
43:00
to work it's what I need so Uber I guess that's what I need to do this summer by
43:05
the end of July I need to do Uber yeah what about other art like art
43:11
museums or um various random museums or
43:16
F like things out there that might be interesting to you that I guess I could
43:22
go to the library i g write that down CR it's called Crandle Library
43:28
yeah and there you can do your philosophi philosophizing hermit lifestyle in the library where you're
43:34
yeah I love the library and that's kind of a little bit of practice of getting out there did you know that libraries
43:40
now um they've expanded Way Beyond books like you can like check out like a leaf
43:46
blower at some of them I didn't know about the leaf blower but I knew you could get like video games and it makes
43:53
sense like they're they rent like you know swimming equipment sports equipment
43:58
like why not they you know they buy stuff and they and they rent and they share it that's what libraries do
44:04
library I like the concept of Library well thank you you mentioned museums which I think is a little more
44:11
impractical than the library but I can do that all right cool
44:17
um all right well I guess that's we're R we're wrapping it up here winding down
44:23
yeah um well thank you so much I really I'm really glad
44:29
um and next uh Thursday July 11th oh it's just depressing day now it was
44:35
supposed to be a great day July 11th all okay so Monday Monday this
44:43
coming Monday that's all that matters right now nothing jobs nothing matters I got to go do the Monday thing and Monday
44:51
thing the Monday thing I need to get that done driving to Springfield doing the paperwork
44:57
confronting Shayla not really but con like if she tries to pull something on me I'm going to just not do it you know
45:05
you know what I mean I don't but I think we're both on the same page and I'm set
45:10
to uh to see the girls afterwards now is it bad that I should I
45:16
make seeing the girls contingent on on on the court thing going well cuz
45:22
like it is contingent if if Shayla gets mad at me or something then there's no
45:28
way I can go see the girls obviously right right that's um which is fine totally fine if
45:36
if it doesn't go well I'm okay with that too although it should go well yeah it
45:42
should be pretty clean cut yeah all right I think we're good to go
45:48
um so next sending you positive vibes on Monday all right please do yeah send
45:54
them in the universe and next week so here's the this is the transition for me this is the big transitional point so I
46:02
clear up the divorce thing on Monday it's it's a whole new life for me a
46:08
after that point and cool and I and I need to do Uber and start working start
46:15
my career yeah so perhaps this will be like a nice of one chapter and the opening of
46:22
what's next exciting and I need to get rid of the thoughts of of um
46:28
nihilism just it it I keep going back to it and it's not helpful okay all right thank you sir I
46:37
guess that's it all righty yeah I'll see you next week all right thank you all right byebye take
46:48
Careo that was a good fession right there
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