Once upon a time, in the land of Sylothic there was a hero and his name was Bic. Bic was a daring and adventurous hero who was currently on a mission to save the realm from Tamish, a great and powerful warlord who was trying to conquer the world. As Bic was getting ready to push open the great doors to the throne room where Tamish was, he reflected on his journey. He had made friends and enemies, discovered lost civilizations, found a lover, and most importantly, grown as a person.
With a great heave, Bic pushed open the massive wooden doors and stepped into the throne room. Tamish was lounging on the gilded throne, oozing with superiority and contempt. Bic pointed his enchanted sword, Dragoncracker, at Tamish and shouted, “Your reign of terror ends today Tamish.”
Tamish let out a booming chuckle. “No, Bic. My rule is just beginning. Though I must thank you, Bic, for you are the one who made this possible after all.”
“What do you mean?” Bic asked with a concerned tone in his voice.
Tamish lifted off the obsidian mask that covered most of his face. “Now do you remember me? Now do you remember how you destroyed my trust and made me take the blame for your mistakes? Now do you remember how, like a fool, I decided to trust you and go through with your plan? Now do you remember how you left me to rot in that prison cell, getting punished for a crime YOU committed?”
Bic looked at Tamish as if he had just told him that the earth was icosahedron shaped. “What in the gods' names are you blathering on about Tamish?” Bic retorted.
Tamish froze mid-sneer, “E-excuse me?” he stuttered.
“Wait wait wait,” said Bic. “You thought I knew you, and not only that, but that I was your friend?” “W-well yes” Tamish said in the voice that a child uses when they get caught lying. “You see, that was pretty much the only reason I decided to conquer the realm,” he said sheepishly.
Bic looked at him awkwardly, “So, are we still going to fight?”
Tamish tossed his sword and mask to the ground, “What’s the point?” he said dejectedly.
“Well, if you are still going to try to conquer the realm I have to stop you. That’s how this whole hero thing works,” said Bic as if he was comforting a kid who just found out how babies were made.
“I never really wanted to conquer anything anyways,” Tamish pouted. “Well, in that case, I need to go clean up the mess you made of the kingdom,” said Bic.
“How big of a mess did I make?” Tamish groaned.
“At least a whole adventure’s worth,” Bic said, almost cheerfully.
“Do you mind if I join you and try to help right my wrongs?” Tamish said, an urge to please in his eyes. “I could always use the extra help,” Bic replied.
“Well in that case, let’s go,” Tamish said eagerly.
So, with Tamish in tow, Bic went around the kingdom saving villagers from evil, hunting monsters, and being a hero. One day, just after Bic and Tamish had finished killing a small raiding band of orcs, they decided to go celebrate at the local village tavern. “I hope the peasants buy us drinks when we get there,” Bic said to Tamish.
“They better, after all we saved them” retorted Tamish.
As they arrived at the village, Tamish remarked, “Where is everyone? The market square should be full right now.”
“Don’t worry about it, they are probably already celebrating,” Bic replied nonchalantly. Bic burst through the tavern doors and shouted, “The orcs are dead!” At this moment Tamish walked through the door and froze. The tavern was filled with orcs, and these ones looked tougher and meaner than the previous ones. The tavern was dead silent.
What Bic assumed to be the leader of the orcs finally broke the silence. “I thought I just heard you say that you killed some orcs,” said the largest orc, “but that can’t be right, can it? Cause the only other orcs near hear would be my son's warband and I do care about my son very deeply.” The orc almost growled the words. Tamish hurriedly said, “Who said anything about orcs? I was just talking about how me and my friend here just killed some porks. Actually there is some bacon outside right now if you guys want to go get it.”
The head orc stood up and said in a dangerously soft tone of voice, “Do you think that just because I’m an orc, that means I’m stupid?”
As Tamish started to stutter a protest, Bic cut in, “It was all his idea. I told him that we should treat orcs as our betters. I kept trying to convince him, but he just wouldn’t listen”
“I like the sound of this guy,” said one of the orcs. There was a murmur of agreement among the now armed and ready to fight orcs. “Alright,you can go,” the lead orc said to Bic. “But you, you’re coming with us,” he growled at Tamish.
Bic walked out of the tavern, whistling over the sounds of Tamish’s screams of pain and terror. As he strolled he started thinking out loud. “What does that make it, 342? Yeah, that sounds about right, I wonder how many times it will take before Tamish realizes that one can’t evade death that many times and not be immortal. For someone who is immortal, he sure has a terrible memory. Maybe that’s why he hasn’t realized we have done this so many times. This time he will probably unite all of the orc tribes under one banner. Now that hasn’t happened since before I started counting our adventures. I just hope for both his and the realm’s sake, that I never get bored of this little game.”
Marcus Graves- I am a junior at St. Peter highschool. My favorite color is red and my favorite animal is a walrus. I write because I want to take the ideas and stories in my head and make them realities. I wrote this story because I felt that so many high fantasy stories have the exact same formula and I wanted to highlight it.