A monster. My mother used to call me a monster for killing my father. She used to blame me for his sudden death. Of course, I wasn’t the cause for my father's death even though my mother would blame me non-stop. I suppose, my mother wanted to blame someone, and that someone was me. My mother loved my father, he was her whole world. And so, when my father died her whole world died with him. So, I was left to witness my mother slowly wither away. Sometimes I wished I could’ve joined my father instead of being with my mother who was unable to love me because of her unstable nature. Some days she would be staring endlessly at my father's pictures that hung on the wall. Others would be her screaming nasty words towards me, saying it was my fault that my father died. Then, months went by, The same cycle over and over again. My mother became more lifeless, numb as the months went by. I vividly remember a few days before she took her own life. She had said to me before locking me away in the shed- I don’t remember how long but it felt like an eternity- that I myself was the cause of this and the way she was acting is because of me. Then she had taken her own life. That day I couldn’t cry. I couldn’t feel anything. Except the feeling of guilt, that I was the cause of this. That I am the one that really did kill my parents. And that I was the monster that my mother once hated. I was the thing that made her die.
After the incident I was taken in by my aunt at the age of 7. My aunt had found me curled up in a corner of the old shed in my backyard of Father’s house, tired and hungry, after my mother had locked me in there. She was coming for a visit after coming back from a sudden vacation. Then after my aunt took me in she loved me like my mother couldn't.
Then, 16 years went by. All those years felt like a dream. I was so happy those days. It felt just like yesterday. Now I am staying in my aunt's house this week, which is in a small town where she lives on the less lively side of town in a small two room cottage with her small, homey kitchen. This place brings back many memories now that I am back here. As soon as I got to her small cottage she had asked me for a small favor. She had asked me to go into the town's market for her while she makes my favorite, apple pie. First I went to the market and bought some fruits and vegetables for dinner tonight.
Then I ran into one of my childhood friends Adam. He was a very lively child growing up so I was happy to see him again. It was a short encounter but he had asked me if I wanted to go to the bar with a couple of his friends, just to catch up. I said yes, of course. I missed Adam. It was gonna be just like old times.
Now, I was at the bar with Adam. Adam was dancing with a girl while I watched him from where I was sitting in the bar. He and his friends were having a great time getting drunk and having a few too many beers for the night, so was I. The bar was an old, small bar in the middle of the town. Many folks came here for drinks and so did we. While they were dancing and drinking I just watched them silently and drank my beer. I checked my watch to see if I should head home soon and it was almost past midnight. My aunt would be worrying about me soon. So, I should probably leave soon. So, I went to find Adam to tell him I was leaving.
“Sorry to intrude, but Adam I’m going to head out for the night…” As I slurred my words, Adam nodded and I started to head out for the night.
I was drunk. That was obvious as I was so dizzy walking home. I was dizzy and nauseated and at one moment I blacked out and couldn’t remember anything. The next moment I woke up I happened to be in the woods where the village lived nearby. I just had to blacked out and ended up in the woods. As I was walking I heard a growl. I didn’t think much of it and kept walking and the next thing I knew I felt a sharp pain in my shoulder and everything go black.
The next morning I had woken up in the woods laying on the hard ground. My clothes were ripped up and I had a bad headache. What happened last night? As I looked at my clothes, I saw a faded bite mark on my shoulder. I didn’t know what happened but something must’ve bit me. Maybe, a wolf or some type of animal? I’m not sure. It was faded as if it had already healed but was still viable to the naked eye. Then I started to get up to walk home after a long night.
As soon as I got home I saw my aunt anxiously looking at me.
“James! Where were you all night? I was worried sick!” She started to shout.
“I was..at Adam’s..” I said as an excuse. I couldn’t tell her I was out in the woods. She would be asking me even more questions then I had time for with this aching headache.
“What happens to your clothes that are all ripped! Did an animal do this to you?” She looked at my ripped clothes.
“No.. it's complicated. I'm sorry I have a bad headache,” I said, not to worry her much.
She just nodded and said, “Alright, just please don’t stay out that late without telling me, ok?”
“Of course,” I said, with an awkward smile.
I was now changing my clothes in my room and thinking about what in hell happened last night. I tried to remember. My memory was still hazy from both the night and my aching headache from getting drunk last night. All I remember was leaving the bar and walking home. How did I end up in the woods, even if I had fallen asleep there? If anything I was so drunk that I just happened to wander in the woods. That doesn’t explain my ripped clothes or the bite mark on my shoulder, though.
It’s been a week since the incident and there has been talk of a murder in the town. I’ve decided to stay here for the time being until I figure out what happened that night. It was all too weird to just leave and forget about. It would always be in the back of my mind, wondering if something serious happened that night. I overheard the townspeople saying that a dead body was found in the woods a few days ago. I thought it was strange, but it must’ve been an animal. These days I’ve been having dreams. I’m not a dreamer. I rarely dream, or don’t dream at all. So me having the same recurring dream every night has been worrying me. It’s me in the woods chasing someone or something. I don’t understand why, but I think it might’ve been that night or my mind playing tricks with me about that night because it's all I can think about these days. Well, who wouldn’t? I woke up in the woods with ripped apart clothing and don’t remember? I don’t think I would just think nothing of it and move along with my life. It was too weird for me just to move on and live my life like it never happened. I just want to know what happened that night, so I can go home with no worries. The dreams I have been having have been throwing me for a fury. They don’t make sense. I’m always in the woods running on fours. I don’t remember. It was so weird and unreal that I thought it was just my imagination, but I think it might have something to do with that night. That is what is also making me not forget that night, the dreams. I’m just confused. I want to ask something but I have no idea who to ask about what happened that night.
So, I went to my aunt to see if she knew anything about the woods or about the bite mark that is still faded on my shoulder. It’s been a week so I thought it would’ve healed by now, but it hasn't, it's all so weird. I’m going to ask my aunt because maybe if anything she knows something, anything.
I saw her in the kitchen baking monkey bread.
“Aunt,” I said reluctantly.
“Hm? Yes, James,” she said with a soft voice.
“Do you know anything about the recent incident or anything about the woods?”
“The woods?” She asked, confused. “Why do you want to know about the woods? It's nothing important. You don’t need to know,” she said in a serious voice.
“Huh? Why? Can’t you just tell me? It's not like it's anything crazy, right? Maybe just a few stories or something?”
“James. You don’t need to know.”
“Why?!” I asked, confused as to why she wouldn’t tell me. It's just the woods.
“Because, James.”
“Alright, I understand aunt. I won't pester you about it if you really don’t want me to.”
She sighed and said, “Thank you, James.”
I went back to my room to think. Why? Why is she mad that I asked about the woods? It shouldn't be a big deal. I want to bring up the faded bite mark with her and ask for a doctor to check it out just in case, but it seems like my question puts her into a bad mood so I'll save it for tomorrow.
It’s the next morning and I had the same dream again. But, this time I remember more. I remember a scream of someone. I don’t why, but I think in my dream I was chasing somebody. I don’t remember much after that, but it was more than before, so the dream became more real and more strange.
I was eating breakfast with my aunt and I wanted to bring up the discussion of my bite mark. It still hasn’t faded away, and it is still worrying me.
“Aunt”
“Yes?” she said, putting her fork down to speak to me.
“I um..I have some sort of bite mark on my shoulder and I’ve had it since that night after I came back.”
“What night?”
“Remember the morning I came back with my clothes ripped.”
“A bite mark? Let me see.” She started to look over my shoulder.
“Jesus.” She looked at me and looked back at the bite mark again.
“You went into the woods didn't you?” She said looking me straight in the eye.
“Yes.” There was no point in lying so I just told her the truth.
“Jesus, James. This is bad. Really bad.”
“What? Why?” I said, confused on why she was panicking
“That’s not a regular bite, James. That's a werewolf mark.” As she looked at my mark,
I laughed. There is no way werewolves exist; they are only a part of fiction, a fictional thing.
“This is no laughing matter, James. If anyone finds out it's going to be chaos. Do you remember anything about that night?”
“Well, I’ve been having dreams.”
“Dreams? About what? Tell me.”
“Well, I guess I’m running in the woods and then I heard the screaming of a person running away from me.”
“James. Are you sure it’s just a dream, because what I’m getting is it's not just a dream, James. It's about what happened that night. Look, you wake up, you don’t remember, then don’t you think you would remember somehow?”
“What? No way. It’s just a dream, Aunt.”
“James. Think about this logically.”
And, of course, I did as my aunt said. I thought about it. I remember when I went to the bar. The next day after the incident I heard that it was a full moon, but werewolves, can those even be real? And why was my aunt so serious about it?
“Aunt, why do you even think they're real?”
She started to say, “James this town has secrets. Secrets you and many people don’t know about. These secrets were kept hidden for the safety of our small village.”
She paused and continued , “James, do you even know why our village is so small?”
I stayed silent. Not knowing the answer, Iwas waiting for my aunt to give it to me.
She continued and said, “Maybe 40-60 years ago our village had different species. We didn’t know of their existence, of course, because as humans if anything threatens our species, our first instinct is to kill it. So, people found out werewolves existed in our town and they were killed. Some werewolves survived, of course, not all of them died out, but many left and many people left our town after the incident and the incident was kept hidden for future generations.”
But that doesn’t explain how I got bit.
“Then..why did I get bit?” I was confused.
“Most of the werewolves I know secluded themselves in the woods away from the townspeople for their safety. Every full moon they come out, and with your luck one of them must’ve bit you, James.”
“Why aren’t they locked up?! Now I’m one of them!” I said, mad. “And why didn’t you tell me before?” I asked, because if she was seeing logic, she could’ve told me when I was younger not to go into the woods.
“Because I saw no reason to, James. You were a good kid. You always stayed home and went to school like a good kid. I didn't need to worry about you. But I guess I should have still. That was my mistake.”
“Mistake? That’s it? Now look at me! I’m one of them, Aunt! Me!” I said, anger budding out of me. “Aunt, I don’t have anything to do with the recent murder in town, right?”
She looked away as if she couldn’t tell me.
“Aunt! Aunt! Tell me!! Please..” I said desperately.
“James..that man was one of my friends.”
“Yes? What about it? That doesn’t matter, right?”
“James, he was a werewolf.”
I was in disbelief that I killed him. I killed him. Me. There was no other explanation as to why he was also in the woods that night. Coincidentally he must’ve been the wolf that turned me. It wasn’t a person I was chasing, it was another wolf. I killed that man and now I’ve become a monster because of it.
“This is all too much. I’m going to my room,” I said, walking to my room.
I'm in bed and can’t think about anything, but me killing that man. I was a complete monster.
It’s been awhile now. Maybe a few days or a few weeks? I’ve been stuck in bed, sick to my stomach on what I have become. I only have a few days until the next full moon and I can’t handle it. I can't handle turning into that thing again.
Today was the day I wanted to be free. This isn’t the life I want. I want to live a normal human life with normal people and normal things. But that was never going to happen. I have never had a normal life, not since my father died, till now. I was going to be free.
And the freedom I sought was off that bridge. I told my aunt all I wanted was some fresh air after a while and while that was true, it wasn’t the full truth. I wasn't coming back for dinner, I was going somewhere else where my freedom awaited me.
As I stood at the bridge looking down, I smiled for the first time in a long time. As I started to slip and fall I smiled at the freedom that awaited me. I closed my eyes and smiled. It was the first time I felt free.
Biography: My name is Ella Cassidy. I'm in 9th grade. The reason I write as an author is for the enjoyment of seeing the world from a different perspective. This story is about a man finally finding himself and his purpose.