She did love him most of all, far beyond the others, Craved his touch, and craved his voice, even when with others, But he was not hers to have, never could they marry, Though they loved as lovers will, and he begged her tarry. And she feared to yield to fate, go beyond redemption, End the life she knew and loved, live a wild deception. So she sought a man unflawed, fitted to her model, Good and kind and sweet and true, hers and not a muddle. When she had them in her arms, joined in blissful loving, Trait’rous heart would yearn for him, thoughts would start to roving. Then the spell would start to crack; they would sense her yearning, Try to hold her far too tight, just to stop that yearning. Damn him for his words of love, for his thoughtful manner. Damn him for his semi-smile, for his charming banter. Damn his eyes and damn his heart, he would not get to her. Cut him off and drop him cold, letters in the sewer. So she managed to move on, marry one who loved her, Bearing kids and tending needs, moaning when he screwed her, Holding wrong thoughts tightly in, doing what is proper. If strong dreams should come again; they would never stop her. Years did pass, years quite good, happy and contented. Dreams did fade, lost in mist, roses faintly scented. She had all she did need, glad she’d not relented; Wished him well, her great love, anger long repented. Then one day, husband true came to her all tearful. “Darling I’m with someone new, hurting you I’m fearful, “But I cannot live without passion in my lover, “I have known all these years, you’re pining for another.” Rage did pass, then the tears, then a string of lovers. Free to live as she would, thoughts turned to that other, To the one she’d cut off when she needed safety, To the one meant for her, who’d she hurt so greatly. So she wrote and called and came, visited discretely, Seeing if he’d start again, end our story neatly, But the pain is all that’s left, from that time of caring, And apart they end their days, nothing else worth sharing.