69th Resolution

Virginia Philosophical Association

69th Annual Meeting

October 24 and 25, 2008

Roanoke College

Minute of Thanks

I want to begin by thanking the person who has been thanking everybody else. I want to thank Patrick Goold, of Virginia Wesleyan College, this year’s President of the Virginia Philosophical Association, for organizing this year’s meeting. As you know, this is the soixante-neuf annual meeting of the VPA. Of the people assembled here today, only George van Sant was present at the inaugural meeting in 1939 J. I am sure we all agree that we had an excellent collection of papers this year, even if I did select them all myself.

I also want to thank Brent Adkins, of Roanoke College, and Roanoke College itself, for hosting this year’s meeting of the VPA. Everything went very smoothly indeed, although I was a bit shocked that last night Brent brought us all to a topless bar. Oh, I’m sorry – Brent tells me it was actually a tapas bar. 

I especially want to thank Brent for arranging it so that this year’s meeting was held in this beautiful room in the Fintel Library, the College Archives Room. I have always wanted to do philosophy from the armchair.

It was clear that this year’s meeting of the VPA was held during an election year.

Simon May, of Virginia Tech, defended same-sex marriage. Since this is not defended by either Obama or McCain, it seems that Simon May is the real maverick.

Jonathan Anomaly, of the University of Virginia, argued that there was no external reason to go to war. Clearly, he doesn’t love America. And anyway, he has that funny name.

Cathal Woods, of Virginia Wesleyan University, promised jobs, and benefits, for everyone in the ideal state. Obviously, he is going to bleed the Treasury dry. Although, since he talked about independently wealthy philosophers, perhaps he does intend to take the money and run.

Tal Brewer, of the University of Virginia, said, in classic Obama fashion, that we have been going backwards recently. He argued that there was not a goodness for me, and a goodness for others, but that there is just one united goodness.

In the evening, we heard from Joe the Plumber. I’m sorry, of course I mean Joe the Pitt-bull, from Virginia Tech. He stooped to the level of certain political commentators, and called Sarah Palin stupid. Twice. Just to be fair, however, he went on to call all philosophers stupid. Except, that is, those philosophers who worked for Silvio Berlusconi.

James Scow, of Sweet Briar College, went one better than Joe, or maybe one worse, and called everyone a liar. His commentator, meanwhile, accused everyone of being a coward.

Nat Goldberg, of Washington and Lee University, was clearly on the Republican side. He kept on talking about red, he attacked Hilary, and he even engaged in a bit of queer-bashing. I won’t even mention his defense of the meaningfulness of guns, or his commentator’s defense of the current position of the NRA, namely, signs don’t say something, people say something. Yes, we get it.

Finally, Mikhail Valdman, of Virginia Commonwealth University, was obviously not attempting to win votes in Ohio, or Michigan, or anywhere else. He argued in favor of outsourcing, and even defended a PC government.

However, I think we all agree that it was an illuminating and entertaining conference, and that all participants are to be congratulated.

Sincerely,

James E. Mahon (Washington and Lee University),

Secretary,

Virginia Philosophical Association.