Christmas letter 1994
December 7, 1994
This year the big news is that I recently quit my job because I couldn't stand my new 27-year-old, smart aleck boss and became severely depressed. Once again I am happily, gainfully unemployed. I did get a new "job" as an ice cream taster for Edy's. Yum yum ! I enjoyed writing my ice cream resume and Edy's picked me from the 10,000 applicants, so I decided to send that this year instead of the usual description of my two trips, the twenty "extra" pounds that make exercise and basketball more challenging, the fine progress on the never-ending genealogy program, etc. etc.
ICE CREAM RESUME
My friends call me "The Ice Cream Man". I love ice cream. I eat ice cream for breakfast, lunch or dinner. It is often my entire meal. My enthusiasm for ice cream is boundless. Friends say I act like an eight- year-old. Whenever asked where we should eat lunch, I always suggest an ice cream parlor. At dinner, I occasionally order an ice cream speciality for my appetizer. The big surprise is that I stay thin. I thank my ancestors for a very active metabolism and an enthusiasm for athletics. I brag (truthfully) that I've lost weight eating three half gallons of ice cream over a weekend, my Ice Cream Diet. If I ever feel "down", I know I can feel better soon with a dose of ice cream, my favorite medicine. I consider it my personal "mood elevator".
Since I would really like to be an Edy's ice cream ambassador, I'll mention other personal characteristics which might further my cause. I smile. In fact I smile so much that I've been nicknamed "Smiley". My philosophy is to smile unless I am miserably unhappy. I'm extraverted and enjoy talking with nearly everyone. Everyone has something of interest to say and something to teach me. I enjoy using my wit and seeing people smile.
My current job has the best fringe benefit. An ice cream truck delivers every other week. I get only one six quart pail since I'm trying to lose five pounds. That six quarts never lasts more than two days. You wouldn't believe how my co-workers scoff at my diet. However I'm no good at staying on this diet. I usually get several half gallons and a quart or two between pails.
Occasionally I've flagged down an ice cream truck on the highway or in a subdivision to buy a half gallon. Refrigeration is not a problem because my limit is a half gallon in one sitting. That taxes my tummy, but the taste buds always convince me to "Go for it." My personal record is a six quart pail in 24 hours .. I wasn't trying to prove anything .. it was just so good that I kept getting the pail back out of the freezer. I surprised myself.
The waitress at one old-fashioned drug store soda fountain automatically gets a cone and her ice cream scoop whenever I walk in the door. Sometimes I don't even get across the street before I head back for seconds .. or thirds. That place is an exception because they don't sell quarts. At several ice cream parlors, the regular servers grab a quart container and the shovel when I walk in the door. They know I'll order four semi-random flavors in a quart every time. It is not unusual for me to finish a quart before a friend finishes a sundae or a cone ordered at the same time. On occasion, one quart seems too little and I order a second.
Here are a few of my most memorable ice cream episodes. I bet my good friends will remind me of a hundred stories that I should have included.
Once a couple of friends of mine and I went to an ice cream parlor in Santa Fe. After the first course, John went across the street to the lumber store. By the time he returned, I was finishing my thirteenth scoop of delightful ice cream. As we left the owner asked if I had recently moved to town. He was obviously disappointed to learn that I was only visiting. It was a year before John returned to that parlor for ice cream. The owner immediately asked him, "Where is your friend?"
One year I returned to my Alma Mater for a three day party. The second day featured an "Ice Cream Orgy". I was delighted with this innovation and really outdid myself because there was no freezer available. Uneaten ice cream was doomed to melt. Three years later, I again returned for this annual party. One of the graduating seniors exclaimed, "I remember you. You're the one who ate all that ice cream!"
I travel cross country by motorcycle. It is hard for me to pass an ice cream parlor when I am hungry. I sometimes ride for hours after hunger strikes looking for an attractive ice cream parlor. Occasionally I experience a flash of memory telling me that I'm near a good ice cream parlor .. even if I've eaten there only once, a year ago.
In British Columbia one year I saw signs for an Ice Cream Parlor (and petting zoo ! ) near Savona. Although I was cold, I could not pass such an unusual establishment without tasting their wares. They offered a wonderful variety of flavors, so I asked if they could hand pack a quart with four flavors. I was told that they do not do that. I resigned myself to the high cost of individual scoops and ordered a three scoop cone. After the first bite I started shivering uncontrollably because I was so chilled from the motorcycle ride. The ice cream was very fine and the flavors delicious, so I ordered another three scoop cone even though I could barely speak because of the shivering ... and that was just as delicious as the first, so I ordered another ... and another ... before I was so full that I could only find room for one last single scoop. The lady scooping was surprised that I could eat so many generous sized scoops of ice cream with a very high butterfat content. I imagine that she was also concerned since I shivered uncontrollably for the whole half hour. She told me that she would sell me a hand packed quart on my next visit. It was a month before I could return, but she hand packed my multi-flavored quart without a mention of the normal policy. Obviously she remembered me!
I once convinced the owner of an ice cream parlor to pile a double cone six scoops high, bridged by the thirteenth scoop. People stared.
Do you have any notion how generous a year's supply of ice cream is for a person of my appetites? Think how impressive it would be to have an Edy's Ice Cream Ambassador in the Guinness Book of World Records under the heading of "Most ice cream eaten in a single year."
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Eve's Garden Organic Bed and Breakfast, a wonderful, eclectic, artistic papercrete alternative living learning mecca in Marathon, Texas
Rambo family genealogy, Bankston & Bankson family genealogy, the Camblin family genealogy, the Dorsey Overturff family, cousin Jean's Schenck and Hageman genealogy, and