Day 1, Thursday
I have 2 brothers and 2 sisters. 5 of us in total, with myself being the patriarch amongst the siblings. A good Irish Catholic family. With all of us now in our 30's & 40's. I am still the only kid to go on and get married. And I did so, 20 years ago.
Plenty of shame to go around for them, or at least excuses as to why no one else has gotten hitched yet. Hell, it was a chore just getting most of them to eventually move out of my parents fucking house! But one of my brothers will finally join the club, us married suckers found ourselves in. And here is the story of his bachelor party.
I got hitched in Vegas, so that is where we held my bachelor party. The oldest of my 2 younger brothers, who was also my best man, never did Vegas before then. The debauchery was left up to my buddy Dirty Joe. Joe was the kind of sleazebag you want running a bachelor party. He knew all of the titty bars in Vegas. And I'm sure could get you some decent cocaine with very little notice. But Dirty Joe was really raunchy. So we didn't go to any of the fancy famous Strip Clubs in Vegas. He wanted us to go to his favorite, which was some shit hole down on Industrial Blvd.
The kinda place where the "dancers" had scars, were the wrong side of 30 and it seemed many had a hard life. It wasn't really my scene at all. But I guess its one of those things you are supposed to do prior to getting hitched.
When I started setting up the kid's party, we settled on Atlantic City. We all love AC. Well, my youngest brother has never been. But the rest of us have fond memories there. As my Dad and the groom to be used to haunt AC all the time. AC, is not Vegas. AC doesn't have strip clubs. I found some guy named "Sugar Carl" through a back channel in one of my gambling groups. Sugar would bring girls to your room for a "party" in Atlantic City.
Now, I know there is supposed to be titties and stuff at one of these things. But it all seemed very sketch to me. So we went with plan B.
Plan B begins and ends with gambling. We all like that. If the groom wants to see a naked ass, he can look at mine. As we will be sharing a room together. The pic above is Dad. Dad is very sly. He wore a shirt covered in upside down pineapples throughout the airport. We didn't ask, but we all knew he was looking to join a Swingers Party in AC. That shirt was obviously his calling card.
If he was successful in that, maybe he could bring his new friends up to the room. And we can see nudity after all! Well, matured nudity. As Dad doesn't seem to attract the young hotties these days. But nudity nonetheless.
Both the groom and I are degenerates enough where we both had free junkets to AC. Dad was my plus one. And my youngest brother Z was the grooms. Flight was a breeze via Sun Country Air. Which is barely above Spirit on a shit scale.
Busses waiting at ACY, and we were in the lobby of the Borgata in under 20 minutes. They had everyone's room keys ready to rock, so check in took all of 2 minutes.
The Wynn has butterflies. The Borg has ants? Jumbo ants all over the hotel. I don't get it. But I also don't pretend to understand art.
We put my Dad and the younger brother in the grooms standard room. And I let him bunk with me in my suite.
End room, with Marina views. Not the kinda suite I am used to when we do Vegas. But still nice. A little bar area, couch and beds close enough we can jump back and forth on. The groom keeps popping up in a lot of my pictures. Apologies in advance, as his big ass has been in my way for the past 40 years now.
You can see both Golden Nugget and Harrah's. And if you look yonder, you can see the end of the Boardwalk.
With a tub big enough to fit both of us! We just had to sit Space Mountain style, so no one got stuck with a spigot in the back.
And its good to see they finally replaced the Shat Phone next to the toilet with whatever this is. Still gross, and I'd have to think unneeded by now. As everyone and their Uncle has a cellphone in 2025. And 95% of us, are clutching one while we hang a shit. At one time, every hotel I stayed at in Vegas, Reno or AC had a phone next to the shitter. Maybe a lot of bad stuff happens on the pot. I mean, look at Elvis...
Enough with the foreplay. Let's get to the gambol! And... it sucked! I was bleeding money right out the gate.
I was betting solid enough. $5.00-$10.00 a whack. I was either missing on my swings, or the bonuses I was getting were just shit. I couldn't really crack the $200 range on anything, and I was bleeding out quickly.
After the above, it got even worse. I mean, I was getting play in. But $8 bet to win $137 in a bonus? $9 for $144? By now, I was down a grand. And we have been playing for maybe a couple hours.
The plan was to nail a buffet for dinner. I'm Gold with MGM, and that gets you two buffet passes for $25. Which is a steal. Not that their buffet was winning any awards. But its still a good value. The only problem is, the buffet isn't open on a Thursday. It is only open Friday - Sunday. WTF Borgata.
We ended up just eating in their food court. Which used to have actual fast food places at one time. But now its just off brand generic house owned outlets. I shit you not, here are the names of the places there.
The Burger place is now called "Burgers & Fries"
The Pizza place is now called "Pizza & Pasta"
The Philly Cheese Steak place is called "Philly Steak & Subs"
The Breakfast Place, which is only open at breakfast time, is called "Breakfast Time"
I mean, how uncreative do you have to be to work for MGM? Any way, I ate a Philly and it was fine. $20 with a small order of fries no drink. But at least its now 1 for 1 when using your comp dollars. It used to be 2 for 1 when they were actual brand named joints. So there is that.
Tummies full, we get back to gambling. Dad was holding his own. We had a big hit group text going. And the fucker was sending over hits close to a grand. Meanwhile, I am lucky if I nail something over $200. Like this 3D Wheel of Fortune slot below. But I did manage $311 on this Asian game above. Don't ask me the name, no one knows. Half the slots these days are some sort of China inspired something or other.
I did manage to snatch a $302 progressive on this $9.00 bet. And a decent win of $210 on Blazing 7's
But I was still digging myself deeper in the hole. And started to bitch bet in the $5.00 range, to keep myself from going full on tilt so soon.
That was good enough for $180, $150 & $250 on these 3.
Like stray dogs finally let out of the house. We wandered our new environment. The Borg is nearing the end of a recent renovation in the casino. But to be honest, it pretty much looked the way I remembered it. Then again, I am the kind of guy that doesn't realize when my wife gets a haircut. And for some reason, that makes me a dick if you ask her.
I close night one, down just over $2,000. That was good enough for 14,804 tier credits. Which I guess is a ton of play here. I will be keeping track, as I piled up almost 43,000 TC's in Vegas earlier in the year. But in Vegas, you get bonus TC's. Here, not so much.
I should be closing in on at least Gold level once more. But with MGM now dishing out TC's based on theoretical holds, which vary based on machine. Its a nightmare to try and figure out what got you what.
Day 2
Well, at least with $2,000 gone I have more room in my wallet. So there is that. I wake up at 6AM Eastern time, which is my 5AM Chicago internal clock going off during the weekdays. Gaming days start at 6AM, so I might as well head down and chase my losses.
And chase I did! The first game I played right outside the elevators from the room, I smashed for back to back progressive wins. I turned my $100 bill in to $393 with a $333 win. Then got that up to $729, after winning yet another one.
I took that $730 TITO over to Jackpot Doubloons. And got a $259 bonus. And now I have a ticket worth $951! I played that down to $900, and cashed out up +$800 on the morning. Which left me down only -$1300 for the trip.
One of just a handful of "my" older games left here, is In the Money. A game I am sure you have seen plenty in my past trip reports. I saw it yesterday, but some dude sat on it all night. And I mean for hours. I kept going back to try and play it, but that fucker was relentless. It was HIS machine. But not at 7AM in the morning! Suck it random guy that I now hate cause we like the same game!
Right away, I land a 5 X 5 = 25 X win on double bars for $375. Then I got a $100 bonus hit, pushing me up to $520. The Ticket redemption machine was right behind me. So I banked that $500 TITO, and now I was up $1200 for the day. I put $100 back in, just to see if it was still hot. And it was. Another $100!
Turns out, having my family with was just the jinx. Without their dead weight, I couldn't lose! And being the only degen wandering around this early, I had my pick of games to play.
They had two of these Voodoo Vixen games. One had progressives over $600 and $150. The other with a ripe $1200 and $300. I stuck some $20's in there, and one of them got stuck. The game still played, and being all alone in the casino. I just wrote it off. There was no one to come help me.
Until the machine jammed due to that stuck bill. And now I'm fucked. After sitting there for 10 minutes, I wandered off to find someone. A security lady called a slot attendant. And in "just" 30 minutes, I was free to play. I mean, I won a little on it. But it cost me valuable gambling time.
I then wander off in disgust. And finally meet up with my Dad. Who once more was sucking out all of my gambling mojo. As I lost half of that $1200 I was up. But you cant win, if you stop trying.
And try I did! On stupid Phoenix Link, which stole my money at Aria a few months back. But was now the savior of AC! $1,400 hand pay, all of my money back in a blink. And now I'm only down like $50 on the trip. Gambling fixes everything!
By now, the groom meets up with us. And I am only missing one brother. We make plans for the buffet for breakfast. And just like last night, its fucking closed! But this time for a private function. How do you close your mass feeder on a Friday? What the Fuck Borg!
Back to the Food Court, and we all ate at the aptly named Breakfast Time. It was fine. But I am still salty over having the keys to a dirt cheap buffet. But them also not letting me in.
The plan for today, is to hit the Boardwalk. The three of them love doing Escape Rooms. So much so, they actually travel around the country to do them. Its never been my thing. As being trapped in a panic room watching others freak out for an hour just sounds stressing. But with it being on the Grooms must do list, we booked one at Escape AC at the Tropicana. This was after I talked him out of us renting a car, and driving to Philly to do one.
The Escape room wasn't until 1PM, so we had the cab drop us off at Bally's. From there we would gamble our way over to the Trop. And Bally's, like every place in AC, does a tier match. I might as well get some use out of my MGM Gold card.
Bally's and Resorts in AC are by far the shittest 2 casinos left. But I heard that they also match free play, with the tier match. Some say they wont accept email offers. So I brought a paper offer from home, just in case. Here is where shit gets dodgy.
There is next to no one in the entire casino at 10:30AM on Friday. As you can see from the pictures above, of their dated shitty casino. The last pic is my crew, while I am in the players club line alone.
I ask to do the tier match, and Patty at the club booth takes my ID and Gold card. I ask her about the free play match, and she says she needs proof from anything except an email. No sweat, I get that. People can edit emails. I bring up my MGM Rewards app to show her my free play, and she immediately poo poos it. Saying it has to be a physical mailer. I go, you said no emails. This is their app. And I hold my phone in front of her. She tells me to go fuck myself.
I then crack out the mailer offer I brought from home, and show her that. She snatches it from my hand and starts to squint at it. And then says, only offers from Atlantic City count. So there goes that. And that should be the end of the story.
There seemed to be some confusion when I read her my email addy for the card. As I use the name of my side hustle sports memorabilia business. I buy and sell signed shit or game used jerseys. And I set up player appearances. Gridiron Gladiators is a hard word for some people. So I swipe at the kiosk, to make sure she didn't fuck it up. And what do I see? When she pretended to type my email in to the system. The bitch typed her own! And if that wasn't obvious enough, the email was her fucking name! Patty something with a B @ gmail.com.
I assume it was so she could reset my PIN, as the reset goes to email for "proof" its you. Then since she works at the booth, she can reprint my card, And take any free play I earn. I should have taken a picture of it, before I reset my email. But I was a bit panicked and changed it right away. I did email Bally's, but as of 4 days later. No one has bothered to get back to me.
We still played a little there, cause we are addicts. And I managed to lose $300, and possibly got my Identity stolen as well. Meh.
We head over to the former Wild Wild West casino, which is now called AC West. And its just a shell of its former glory. What was once one of the coolest themed casinos I had ever been in. Is just a blacked out waste of space. And they even shuttered Coyote Kate's casino, which is now trapped behind a wall.
Kate's was where all the slots ended up when they remodeled IE ruined the place. The casino area was just empty, and hard beer pong tables and arcade games in it for some reason. At least now they moved slots back in there.
The West is connected to Caesars. Which looks just like it did 4 years ago, the last time I was here. It is fine. You can tell it used to be higher end at one time.
It still has one of the coolest lobbies in the gambling world. At least CET hasn't fucked that up yet.
I also lost $300 here. $300 is the max I am willing to shit out, at one of these casinos that isn't hosting me.
And finally, we walk out on to the famous Boardwalk! You can see a picture of our Groom being crowned Queen of Atlantic City.
A lot of places are still closed for the season I guess. I mean, it is mid-May. But all of the arcades we walked by were still shut down. But I guess it is fair to assume they just went out of business. Cause, you know, AC.
The Trop is still awesome! We farted around a bit before heading to the Escape Room. But don't worry, I lost $300 here as well! After getting back to even at the Borg this morning. I dropped about $500 there before we left. Then another $900 now. So I am -$1400 once more.
The Escape Room was, well, an escape room. I expected it to be like Scooby Doo. Follow clues, unlock another room. Do the same until you got out. Kinda like a fun house with puzzles.
This, was not that. We were locked in to a 10X12' room. It had a closet with clues in it. But no other rooms to open and explore. From what the experts in my group tell me, this was a shitty escape room. For $200, I expected more. Maybe I am just a cynic. But I don't think these things are for me. I helped figure shit out. But some of it was just impossible without asking for help. But we made it out with 9 seconds to spare. So at least we "won".
Dad is an old geezer by now. But he isn't like some old guys, who still think they are young and can do stuff. Dad knows he cant. So he doesn't try. He doesn't bitch mind you. But we know his limitations. Instead of walking down the Boardwalk to get to the other casinos. We just took a cab to Hard Rock from Tropicana.
Hard Rock matches tier levels as well. But their match comes with $50 free play and $50 in free food. Unlike Ballys, which came with fraud and nothing else. And by now, I'll take all the free I can get!
But the magic to the HR match for me, is that Ocean Casino next door will match their Icon level with their Prime. My worthless MGM Gold isn't good enough for Ocean. But once Hard Rock matches Gold to Icon. I can match Icon to Prime. Keep up, there will be a test later.
Hard Rock did NOT disappoint! I play Cash Machine all the time. HR's was only for quarters or fifty cents. Max bet $5.00 = $500.00 win! I just got back half of my Boardwalk losses!
I cashed that out, and played around. I was treading water, until I sat down on Quick Hit Fever. $269 Quick Hit win. Then a shitty $112 bonus game, And finally a $76 line hit. I took my $100 buy in up to $514 before cashing out. Hard Rock was a net +$900 win for me. So it erased all of my Boardwalk losses.
We used that $50 comp for a couple soft giant pretzels, a flat bread pizza and drinks in the HR Cafe. Service was good, and the food was decent enough. For free, no complaints. Even if we paid, it would have been worth it. And its the first time I have eaten at a Hard Rock, since the 90's.
We exit Hard Rock and work our way over to Showboat. Showboat used to be a casino. But CET dumped that joint years ago, and bought out Tropicana instead.
Now the Showboat is all about Family Friendly Fun. They claim its the largest arcade in the world. Not sure about that, but it is big. They also have mini golf, a skating rink, go carts and an indoor waterpark. You can squeeze a ton of shit in to a former casino I guess.
If you look at the go carts below, you can see they still have some slot neon up.
And the Worlds biggest Zoltar!
Exit there, and head in to Ocean. Their player match comes with $150 in free play. Plus $15 in comp credits. Good thing I have that Icon card. Tier matching is just an annual tradition here in AC. I am sure the casinos hate it. But heaven forbid they don't do it! Players would lose their shit.
On top of the credits, they are also giving away 3 free nights at Wynn in Las Vegas with the Prime match. I have tried to crack Wynn before. I cant get a host to offer match me. Ive tried for years. Last year, on my Return of the Macks trip. I actually took a grand there to run through and see if I can earn an offer. Nope. Just a discount. But now they have to let me in!
If you follow the AC rabbit hole on my site. You can see how Ocean went from the abandoned failed Revel. To the eventual profitable joint it is now. The casino has stayed the same through out everything.
You can see Ding Dong photo bombing me yet again above.
I turn my free play in to a $190 hit on dollar Zoltar. The only one I have seen in AC. But I lost it shortly after.
We did play around for a good hour. But I was bleeding out here. They had a lot of games I didn't see elsewhere. And I just kept reaching in for another $100 bill to play with. By the time we got to the other end of the casino, I dropped $700.
Strike that, they have Dracula. The only place in town with one. Now I only lost $500. Still, Ocean is fun. And well worth the risk. I just wish they had junkets from Chicago like Borgata does.
I mean, look at that view from the casino!
My kids made two requests. Salt Water Taffy and to bring home Unicorn Horn seashells. Their Uncles tried their best. But not a single Unicorn Horn to be found. Although we did find a half naked homeless lady under the Boardwalk stairs here. But she didn't count.
Cab it back to the Borg, and the fucking buffet was finally open for business!
We played around, and I lost a bit more. In the Money was still paying! Yet another 5x5x = 25X double bar win. $375 helped, but not enough. I hit this on the way back up to the room. I lost way too much over 2 hours, without a single decent win to show for it.
Before this $375 hit, I was down almost $3,000 on the trip. Well, considering I got myself even 12 hours earlier. I am down $3,000 on the day. It happens. I earned only 7,401 tier credits. Which is half as much as I did last night. Boo!
Day 3
With a new day, comes new hope. Am I sad I only have a grand left? Yeah, a little. I thought I could make $4K last over 4 days. But since I am traveling with these 3 coolers. Shit turned sour fast. My only hope, is to hurry up and gamble before they wake up. Once more, at 7AM, the casino is all mine.
But now I am timid. I did manage a $164 bonus on the below. But I was only bitch betting $2.80. If this was yesterday Grid, that would have been a bet three times as much. And a $500 win. Fortune favors the bold. And I just cant afford to be bold right now. I have to take my medicine. The worse thing that can happen, is I have to spend the next day and a half watching them play. And that would be torture.
I did man up and bet $5 here, for a $200 win.
Breakfast buffet once more. And we head out to Golden Nugget to explore the other two Marina casinos.
If you've seen one Golden Nugget, you have seen them all. They love the Red, Brown and Gold accents of the 1980s for some reason.
Dad plays around some, and I found a Top Dollar game I won a little on. But then found a dollar Playboy slot I assumed was extinct, and I lost it all on that.
Between the Nugget and Harrahs is a private beach Who's beach? Who knows. But we have always crashed it. This time, someone erected a big ass sign that says No trespassing. We were hesitant, but still needed to find some Unicorn Horns. So we did what has to be done.
They had a shit load of stinky oyster shells. But no horns.
We did see a few people fishing down there. So we weren't the only ones to ignore the signs. But we also saw plenty of yellow crime scene tape. And this section of the woods, covered in tattered clothes and children's toys. Zero percent chance no one has been louring kids down here to do God knows what.
After not getting raped or killed on the murder beach, we got to Harrahs safe and sound.
They are still the only place we went to, that had a large assortment of my older slots. Nearly all the old ones from the Borg were purged with the remodel.
Even though I am down over $3K by now, I cant pass up the opportunity to play Dean Martin. And man, am I glad I did! $227 win isn't nothing. But I have a dug a deep hole for myself by now.
Cab back home to the Borg, and Dad was sucking wind from the walk over from Golden Nugget to Harrahs. We would have killed the old guy, if we made him walk back to Borgata. And to be honest, a dead dad might have ruined the Bachelor Party.
More giant ants for some reason.
Back when we were planning this trip out. I told everyone to pack one nice polo shirt, as I planned to take them out to a fancy dinner. The soon to be husband did no such thing. And wanted to argue how his black T-shirt would be good enough for a nice steak house here.
But it didn't matter much, as we all eat like toddlers. And the menus for the better places did not appeal much. Metropolitan, a place I have ate at before and liked. Was fancy without being too fancy. With plenty we wanted to eat too. But they closed at 3PM on the weekend for some reason. Borgata is just all kinds of weird with this shit.
We ended up at the Bet MGM Sportsbook Bar and Grill. Which was a nice place, and an edible menu. But it was loud as fuck. And the service was just horrible. Still, the food was good. So there is that. It just took forever and a day to get our food. And our waitress was obviously in over her head.
Well, if I was going to crawl out of my $3,000 hole. I gotta start somewhere. $140 bonus on Easy Money was just that. A start.
I normally play Diamond Queen. But didn't here, since max bet was $2.00. Still, it was next to whatever Dad was playing. So I jumped in, and the bitch retriggered 3 times on the last spin. Which is when you get 3 full reels wild. I didn't even think that was possible. $2.00 bet = $310 win? Yes please!
The casino started filling up, as they were doing some big free play giveaway. It went from 6PM to 10PM, every hour on the hour. Even though we have only been earning entries over the past 3 days. While most of these jerks have been doing so since April. All we need is a chance to win, and we will hang out and play for 4 hours.
And the tide is starting to turn my way! $558 hit on Dragon Rising! That helped a ton, and I cashed out $600 to give my wallet some weight again.
Bing, $276 on Bull Blitz. Bang $195 on Cleo Gold. Bong $255 on quarter Zoltar. I cash out another $300 TITO.
I was playing this Ultra Rush for $10 a whack earlier in the trip. But being a bit timid right now, I was just betting $5.00. Still, $783 bonus game. But it would have been my 2nd handpay if I wasn't such a coward by now. With that, I have now cut my losses in half. And this heater has been cooking for over an hour now.
Well God Damn! $565 on whatever the fuck this game is. I am inching my way towards avoiding divorce. As I assume that is what would happen if I lost my 4 grand. My kid brother would get married, but I'd be divorced. And my folks go right back to only having one wedded child.
$323 here. Yet another 25 X double bar (crazy, I know) $375 on In the Money. And a $350 Monopoly wheel spin!
I cash out another $600 TITO after a $189 bonus game.
I kept cashing out and grinding my way up over and over again. They might not have been calling my name for the drawing. But at this rate, they wont have to! $128, $191, $205. It was all adding up.
And I am actually winning all this, side by side with my crew. Maybe their jinx wore off?
Took this hundo up to $187. $187 up to $254. $254 up to $385 before cashing out again.
It is now after 10PM, the drawing is over. And I do a quick wallet count. I was only down $600 by now. And that includes paying for cabs, tips, I prepaid dad for our airport parking ETC. So not all of it was gambled away. And I got that loss delta down to nearly nothing.
Once last game before bed. As being down $700 is pretty much the same as being down $600. But nope. I won another $300 above.
I hit the hay down $300 on the trip. With only $700 left in my pocket at one time. To having $3,700 now. All without a handpay is crazy. And I earned 13,492 TCs as well. Giving me 78,575 and Gold for yet another year. I'd cash in my $100 tier celebration that comes with it. But I think that is now automatic, and they just give you reward credits.
Day 4, Sunday.
The last day in AC. And I am down working the casino at 7AM once more. Busses leave for the airport in 5 hours. I gotta get one last day of play in. Now, I planned on just sleeping in and hanging out until the bus came. But that was way back when I was broke. Like 12 hours ago. Now, I pretty much have my entire bankroll. What could go wrong?
So far, nothing! I did lose $100 on my In the Money. But flipped over to the above. Still nursing my bankroll a little. I was only playing it for $4.50 a spin. Got the bonus, and it kept retriggering. My initial 8 free games turned in to 26 when all was said and done. And that $560 win, put me up for the trip on my last fucking day.
I got a good line hit on the original Cleo, and got my TITO up to $802. Which I promptly cashed out in the High Limit Room. Quick Borg hack, the normal ATM/TITO redemption machines on the casino floor will always give you $100 in $20's. If you cash out $800, you will get 7 $100 bills and 5 $20's. Which is annoying, when you are lugging so much cash. in the HL room, its all hundos when even.
The boys finally come down, and we smash one more buffet. And my magic has completely worn off by then. I end up dropping like $700 over the next few hours. So no longer up. But I sure as shit ain't down much either.
Now here is a scumbag move by the Borg. If you convert your point play (Slot Dollars) on a video poker machine. Which has long been my go to. They reduce it by 90%! I thought just one machine was fucked up. I even rechecked the app to prove to everyone I really had $186 in point play. Even though all the VP machines I tried told me I only had $18.69.
So I went over to a slot machine, and sure as shit. $186.96. I have to think this is by design. But that is shitty to do to a player. I convert that $185 (You can only convert in increments of $5's). And we tuck tail out of there, with me only dropping $500ish on the trip, all in. I didn't play a whole lot today, but I did manage nearly 4,000 tier credits. So now I am sizing up the 200,000 it will take to be Platinum with them. Cause I like being fancy with a higher club card.
Good bye Borgata! But not without one last spin on In the Money. And Boom! The impossible, 25 X double bar again for $375. I have yet to get the 25X on anything except double bars. But now I have a new goal in life! And with that, I am hardly down at all!
Busses start rolling in right on time. We head off for the airport at 1PM.
Now I just need my last brother to get married, and I have an excuse for another gambling trip. But chances are, that last brother will marry a man. And his bachelor party will be at Disney World. So this might be the last on em.