Casino Review: New Hollywood Joliet

I have been to the old Hollywood Joliet maybe twice. It was what all Illinois casinos were back in the 90's A small actual riverboat that permanently sat at dock. Cramped, dated and in a less than deliverables area. Relics of the past. And every time a new casino opens up nearby, fewer and fewer people go to these old shit holes. 

The new Hollywood set out to fix all that, and it did. While the old joint had a small motel type place to stay across the street. So gamblers can at least get something for their play. The new joint knows what it is. And that is a locals place. No need for a hotel. Just a grind joint. And it doesn't seem ashamed of that. 

One of the surface lots is still under construction, as I swung by 2 weeks after they opened the place up. The other surface lot seems to be restricted to valet for now. And everyone is ushered into the parking garage.

First impressions? Its a casino. Soulless and with zero thought to design. Even the carpet seemed boring.   It was a warehouse with slot machines in it. Nothing to see. Nothing to do. Except gamble. 

But they do have free drinks! Which is getting harder to find post pandemic. But the cops they give you are like thimbles. But it seems the locals caught wise already. As I saw more than a few of them fill up their own tumblers from home. Which I am surprised the casino even lets you bring in. As you have to go through metal detectors to get in here. 

Nothing says Illinois gambling quite like "Let's make sure you don't have a gun".

They did have a decent assortment of older slots. But new machines out number the classics at least 25 to 1. For a Sunday afternoon, the place was hopping!

Almost everywhere you looked, had someone playing something. All except the video poker area, which was nearly abandoned. While I was drawing some small comps from their old location, I had all of my offers zeroed out here. You gotta earn your keep at the new Hollywood!

Their High Limit Room is just as bland as the main casino. Maybe even more lifeless. The entire casino felt like gambling in the conference room of a Marriott. See below. I don't think you could imagine a more blah space than this one. 

The overall selection in HL was pretty shit. But they did bring over just one of their older $5 Denom Wheel of Fortune games. It took me about $120, but I won a lousy $150.

I played for a good hour. And pissed away $400. Illinois casinos have long had the reputation of being tight. As they pay way too much in taxes to the state. And I got what I deserved. Nothing. My bonuses, the few I got, were maybe 3-6 times my bet. Which is to say pathetic. I was here more out of curiosity than anything. I didn't expect to win. My coin in? Maybe a grand. I know 75% hold is impossible, and illegal. But that's where I ended up. 

The new casino fixes a lot of what was wrong with the old one. The new location is in a better area, right on the border of Joliet and Plainfield. Super easy to get to, off Route 59 or I55. They have OK dining options, if you wanted to make a day of it. And they show an events center, which should help getting some foot traffic in the door.

The overall feel is just so generic. How generic? Well in the sports bar they have banners of all of Chicago's championships across sports. But no actual team names or logos. See the pic to the left below. CHI NBA trophy 1997. CHI football trophy 1925 ETC

The area around the casino itself is nice! They have some dining and a food court right at the entrance, that looks like a real casino. But then you are ushered into the brown and beige box that is the casino. 

Would I be back? Maybe. If I had someone in tow that wanted to gamble. As this is now technically the closest casino to my house. But without a spa, hotel or other such amenities to entice me to stay and play longer. I can only treat it as the grind joint it is. Ill save my real gambling for the Four Winds or Pottawatomie. The Injuns do things right!