The Mirage Resort & Casino

The Mirage Resort & Casino. What you need to know!

Gambling!

They boast over 1,850 gambling machines in 100,000 Square Feet of casino excitement.

With 151 table & Poker Games you can find any game you want; Blackjack , 3 Card Poker, Baccarat, Craps, Let it Ride, Roulette etc. They also have Mini-Baccarat, Let-it-Ride, Pai Gow Poker and more. It’s the strip, if their neighbor has it, they have it!

Built by Steve Wynn and still breathe taking today. Mirage broke all barriers in Las Vegas and was doomed to fail by every expert. But what it did instead was reinvent Las Vegas, and gambling forever. Once Wynn opened the doors, every casino in town rush to mimic his success. Go home and watch Vegas Vacation. If you don’t own it, buy it. That’s all Mirage, all the time. And if the place is good enough for the Griswold’s it should be good enough for you.

The Mirage of today is much darker, sleeker and sexier than in the movie. Reinventing itself once again, the place is packed with great eats, great gambling and great location to everything in town. The casino is always hopping. The slots and tables stay packed so it seems a lot of people make the Mirage their dumping ground for all that cash burning a hole in their pocket.

What’s to eat?

No food court. Which sucks if you want something fast to eat. But you can always walk right across the street to McDonalds if you are a cheap low life like me. The options that are here are very good. California Pizza Kitchen is a great option; I love the BBQ chicken pizza. And the deli is top notch. The sandwiches are huge! But those greedy bastards will charge you extra to share your plate. So take it to go and eat it elsewhere. Save that extra $5.00 for a slot machine. They used to give you a big serving of cream cheese for you bagels, but now they charge $2.99 for it.

To simplify your selection the following have been rated for value.

As Vegas eateries change almost hourly you might want to double check if these places are still in operation. This blog is very lazy with updates...

Cheap (reasonably priced for what you get). ‘Bout what you’d expect (if you don’t understand this you should stick to McDonalds). Holy Shit! (Unless you are used to your bill looking like your phone number stay away)

In no particular. Unless you consider alphabetical an order. Lord knows we don’t.

• B.B. King's Blues Club - American ‘Bout what you’d expect

• Blizz Frozen Yogurt - Cheap

• BLT Burger - American ‘Bout what you’d expect

• California Pizza Kitchen - Pizza ‘Bout what you’d expect

• Caribe Café - American ‘Bout what you’d expect

• Carnegie Deli - Deli ‘Bout what you’d expect

• Cravings - Buffet ‘Bout what you’d expect

• Fin - Chinese ‘Bout what you’d expect

• Japonais - Japanese, Sushi ‘Bout what you’d expect

• Kokomo's - Steak & Seafood ‘Bout what you’d expect

• Mirage Snack Bar - Bar Cheap

• Onda Ristorante - Italian ‘Bout what you’d expect

• Roasted Bean - Coffee House Cheap

• Samba Brazillian Steakhouse - Steak ‘Bout what you’d expect

• STACK - American Traditional ‘Bout what you’d expect

• Starbucks - Coffee House Cheap

Hotel

3,044 rooms at The Mirage

The Room Basics

All of the rooms here are nice, recently updated and always clean. The views on the other hand range from fantastic Strip & Volcano to piss poor freeway and mountain. So if you want a view, these jerks will up charge you for it. The room itself is very tasteful. Great beds, nice layout. Plenty of fancy jacks for all your tech devices. Flat screen TV and soft bedding. That’s the good news. The bad news, the bathroom suck. They are nice, and recently redone. Just tiny. I found it easier to wash my balls in the sink instead of squeezing my fat ass in that shower. And when you are sitting on the pot, I guess it’s a convince to be able to brush your teeth at the same time.

What you need to know.

Bend over, here come the resort fees! Last time I checked I would rather have $20.00 than not. But you might be OK paying them for it. I don’t know how rich you are. Most people will just get pissed that the $59.99 rate the book on Expedia turned out to be $84.99 a night plus tax once they get there.

In closing:

We love Mirage. We love the excitement of the casino, the volcano out front and the way our bottom tingles when we walk through the door. Free tram connects you to TI next door as well. If you want to site see, this is a great place to stay. Wynn, Venetian, the Fashion Show Mall are all right there at your fingertips. Notice I didn’t say Harrahs or Casino Royal. Sure they are there as well, but if you are fancy enough to stay at the Mirage why would you go in these shitholes?

What else you need to know?

They do have a Spa & a bunch of great clubs here. The pool is great! Very quit with plenty of water falls and such to make it tranquil.

Major attractions.

As Vegas shows change almost hourly you might want to double check if these are still in operation. This blog is very lazy with updates...

The Volcano Show. Whats so exciting about watching a plastic rock belch flames? Nothing. That’s why they redid the show a few years ago. The thumping of drums, the fireballs, the flowing lava and lights. Its actually pretty awesome now. But unlike the Bellagio fountains down the street it’s not very good for repeat performances.

Siegfried & Roy’s Secret Garden. You can waste hours in here. Don’t expect the dolphins to actually perform for you. They are too good for that. Instead all they do is swim around and every now and then a trainer comes out and feeds them. Pretty boring if you are not an animal lover.

Terry Fator Theater. It’s a man with his hands up a puppets ass telling jokes. Not my thing, maybe its yours cause he seems pretty popular. I don’t come to Vegas to watch Sesame Street Live.

What did a hundo get us?

We played through five $20.00 bills on various machines. If we bet $1.00 a spin, we give em 20 spins and cash out. $2.00 per spin is 10 spins. If you can’t wrap your brain around this math, please do not gamble. I am sure this test of the slots is insanely scientific. But your actual millage may vary.

1^st machine: Cash Coaster. $1.20 per spin. Cashed out with $9.60. Major hit none, this is a bonus or die machine

2^nd machine: 5 line Triple 7’s. $1.25 Max Bet. Cashed out with $20.00 Major hit none. But I can sit on this machine here for hours. It has to be around 90-95% payback. You won’t get rich but you can build a ton of points. Who knows you might even break the bank!

3^rd machine: Three Kings. $1.25 Max bet. Cashed out with $8.68 Major hit a slap in my face!

4^th machine: Spin & Win. $3.00 Max Bet. Cashed out with $31.00 Major hit Instant Spin for $30.00

5^th machine Cash Wizard. $2.50 Max Bet. Cashed out with $19.00 Major hit none, Wizard Wilds for $15.50

Total results. Turning $100.00 into $88.28 in 30 minutes seemed pretty easy. Assuming my math is correct, Mirage seems pretty fair and Three Kings is the Devil!

Contact Information

Website - www.mirage.com

General Information - (702) 791-7111

Toll Free Group Sales - (800) 456-8888

Toll Free Hotel Reservations - (800) 627-6667

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