June 2021 What the Hell Happened to Vegas?

This Trip Report was supposed to be called "Grid's Triumphant Return to Vegas!". Well, best laid plans and all...

So, how did we end up with "What the Hell Happened to Vegas"? I'm glad you asked!

We booked this trip back in February, certain that by mid-June the COVID-19 vaccine would be flowing in the States, like chocolate in the rivers of Wonka's factory. Sure enough, the wife and I were fully vaccinated come April, and all of the reports for the roll out were looking good!

Nonstop flights to Vegas from Chicago were around $250 each, round trip. Nearly twice what we were used to paying in the past, but nearly half the price of the same flights right now. What the hell happened to Vegas? When did it become so expensive to get there?

While some players clubs starting reducing my offers, after not checking in with them in nearly 2 years. I'm looking at you Treasure Island! Mlife actually increased my offers. 4 nights stay in a big 2 bedroom suite (Rack Rate for our nights cam out to nearly $2,500) + $400 in Free Play + $300 in resort credit.

No resort fees or other silliness. Just show up and play! Now that is a good offer!

As I have stated in the past, I am cheap. Crazy, when I can piss away over $1,000 a day on the slots and yet make a statement like that. But, I point to my daily frugality as an excuse as to why I can splurge a little in Vegas. With that said, I had booked the cheapest flights I could find, and that once more means we would be flying Spirit.

From February, up until now, my flight times must have changed nearly a half dozen times. Which is a pain in my asshole, as I had to keep bugging my host about a change to the late checkout, and to get the Limo moved around to accommodate the willy nilliness of Spirit.

And as if on queue, once everyone was packed up and ready to head out in the morning, I get a flight change notice from Spirit once more, that our flight will be delayed almost 90 minutes today. Fuckers.

Finally, no more changes by noon, and we get to O'hare airport safe and sound. Park in the cheapest lot, at $15 a day, and take an overly packed shuttle buss to our gate.

We booked this trip Sunday morning to Thursday evening. With an attempt to avoid the crowds. For weeks on end, we heard just how hot and packed Vegas was. Usually the middle of June isn't too hot, well, except for this June, where it got up to 115 degrees. What the Fuck Vegas?!

Flight to Vegas was the same as always. A full wallet, and a constant checklist running through my head of what I want to play first, and see next. With nearly 2 years in between trips, which has NEVER happened to me before in all of my adult life. I had plenty of day dreaming to do on the flight.

3 hours and 32 minutes later, we are wheels down at 6PM local time! As soon as we start to taxi near the gate, a bunch of people from the back rush to the front of the plane to be the first ones off. What's up with that? What happened to the tried and true zipper de-boarding? 3 people in 1st row left off, then 3 people 1st right. And so on and so forth.

Just because we have been separated from each other for over a year, shouldn't mean we lost all civility. What the Fuck happened to humanity? You are going to be a dick hole to get to Vegas 2 minutes earlier than most of us?

As soon as I take my phone out of airplane mode, I see I have a message from the hotel that my limo is in play!

Anthony calls to tell me he will meet us at baggage pickup 3, and sure as shit he was standing there holding an iPad with our name on it. I did prepare the kids for this, and made a game of "Where's Waldo" out of it. They had to find the man wearing a suit, holding a sign with our name.

Literally, as soon as we get down the escalators to baggage claim, the wife blurts out "There he is!" sucking all the fun out of things for the kids.

Ride over to Mandalay was as smooth as silk. Ice cold drinks in hand, and plenty of friendly banter from our driver.

It has been years since we last stayed at Mandalay, and I was never coded VIP before. I knew there was a special entrance to check in, and I could mooch free drinks from the same place during our trip. But no one had told me where it was!

Mobile check-in line was about 20 people deep. Normal check-in lines had a good 50 people in them. Mind you, it is nearly 7PM on a Sunday.

By chance, I watched someone walk into this nondescript room near the elevators, and completely removed from the actual hotel check-in. By looking at the entrance, you never would have guessed this was the spot.

Not that I can blame them, but they were immediately suspicious of me being in there. Instead of welcoming me to the hotel, I was greeted with a "Sir, you have to be a VIP to come in here".

Again, I get it. I'm standing there in my dad jorts, wearing a black tank top, my Bears cap twisted backwards on my head, like a middle aged frat boy. Tattoos, beard, earrings, sunglasses etc... But, they could have at least asked my name, checked the system, and then shooed me out if I shouldn't have been there.

Hey, even slobs have money sometimes! What the fuck Vegas, this is my first impression?

I did download the Mlife app prior to flying out, which allows you to check-in via your phone. If I wanted to, I could have ignore the desk altogether, as I did get a text with my room number and instructions on how to use my phone to unlock the door. Fancy!

Room confirmed, actual key cards picked up and a nice luke warm Pepsi taken from their guest fridge. The magic about being coded VIP, is that you can come in here and grab a cold drink out of their fridge. Midget Mlife water bottles, cans of Pepsi and Sierra Mist. Various juices and the like. No food, but plenty of drinks. The downside is, its just 2 hotel room mini fridges, and it seems like those things get raided a lot. Thus, being restocked so often, and not actually producing a cold beverage.

Throughout our stay, Id drop in with one kid and grab a couple drinks. And the wife would walk in after us with another kid, and do the same. It says limit 1 drink per guest, per day. But, I don't think they adhere to that very much. In fact, during our entire stay, no one batted an eye or asked us for proof of our VIP status whenever we popped in there. With that in mind, anytime I am in MB, I am going to steal me a free drink, even if I am not staying there!

The secret is, to have confidence when you walk in. Say good morning, and go right to the fridge on the right side of the room.

Got my keys, got my free drinks and everything grinds to a halt. The line to get to the elevators wraps around the entire back of the building. What the fuck Vegas once more! The wife goes back into the VIP lounge, to ask if there was another way to get up to the room. Nope, go fuck yourself and stand in line. Which is exactly what we did, for 15 minutes, until some hotel worker was pulling people out to go use the service maintenance elevators instead.

We took his shortcut, but it still took almost 30 minutes to get up to our room. Ugh. Mind you, this has nothing to do with COVID protocols. Vegas is 100% back open, and people were squeezing into these elevators, like me into my High School Letterman jacket.

After all that, our room was at the very end of the hall. I likes it when I get the double doors. It makes me feel like I am someone special!

From their website: Modern simplicity is blended with stylish comfort in our 1450 sq. ft. Panoramic Two-Bedroom Queen Suite. Neutral tones accented with fresh greens and vibrant blues reveal a natural sense of comfort highlighted with hints of energy for a stylishly relaxing vibe. With a contemporarily redesigned dining and living room for up to 11, this Las Vegas Suite is social relaxation at its finest.

While I don't think "contemporarily" is an actual word, and spell check seems to agree with me. The room was more 1960's retro kitsch than contemporary.

The room was nice, but a bit worn down. The pillows on the couch below (right pic), had some buttons missing and the seat cushions, likely replaced at some point, didn't exactly line up right. And one of the arms on the chairs in the left pic, fell off when I sat down on it.

When you book the the Panoramic Two-Bedroom Queen Suite, don't be fooled by the name. The Panoramic Two-Bedroom Suite, is the same setup but with King sized beds in each of the two bedrooms. Adding Queen to the name, means you get one master bed with a King, and another bedroom with 2 Queens.

Views were awesome out each and every floor to ceiling window! It was a good space, and laid out perfectly for us, with the kids in their own wing.

The Panoramic part comes in, since the room itself takes up the entire endcap of the hotel floor. Basically, instead of adding another guest room to the right, middle and left. They combined all 3 into one large suite.

You have the master bed and bath to the right. The dining area dead center of the foyer. The living room to the left of that, with a TV. The sitting room to the right of that, with a TV and a bar. And the second bedroom immediately to the right of that, with its own bath.

Fun fact, our room number was 135, the same as the Harvest Music Fest sniper had 4 years prior. He was just a few floors directly above us. Anyway, I made my one reference to the Mandalay Bay mass murder already, so we can skip that going forward.

Below are pictures of the master bedroom. As you can see, the comforter was running a little worn. The sheets were clean, but the actual pillows had some staining on them. I tossed those on the floor.

The light in the closet here didn't go off on its own, we had to shove a sock into the door jam switch. And this would be among the ONLY times when the lights in the bathroom worked. More on that later.

Overall, the room was awesome, just a bit beaten in.

Checked in, and hungry, we head down to look for something to eat. Today is Sunday, middle of June, Vegas is jampacked, at what is normally a fairly dead resort. 75% of the food outlets are closed here! What the Hell Vegas? Some never reopened with the rest of the resort. And others are only open from like 4PM-10PM 3 days a week. So random.

Looks like they are replacing the floors in the main restaurant area. With that, the entire area is a maze of small corridors and black curtains. Seriously? You could swap the floors during all those months this place was shut down last year?

The food court is supposed to be open 24/7. At least that is what it says online. Nope. Not only is the food court way on the other side of the resort, but the only thing open past 8PM is Subway. Really? The resort is packed with people! Get your shit together Vegas!

We brave the lines and wait to get in to Citizens to order from their quick service counter. It still took about 45 minutes to get some overprice below average food. A breakfast burrito, a salad and a small cheese pizza plus a few small bags of chips. It cost over $60 for that. But when you are hungry, and there is little else there to eat, you take what you can get.

Get the food, wait in line for the elevator once more, and I rush through my shitty flavorless overpriced breakfast burrito, and finally head down to play.

My money isn't going to lose itself you know!

I hit the skids really fast today. I played the games I normally play, well, of the few that are left here. Slot inventory at Mandalay Bay is lacking. MGM, who owns the joint, has a horrible habit of ripping out entire banks of slots, and leaving the space empty. I'll never understand it. A lot of MB's casino is very roomy, thanks to the lack of games still available.

You used to enter the joint, wen heading in from the mall that connects to Luxor, and were greeted by a sea of slots at that end of the casino. Nearly all of them have been removed! It is now just a wasteland of empty space, and worn carpet. Really sucks all the excitement out of the casino if you ask me.

All those games I had hoped to play, are now gone. Diamond Queen? She gone. My rows of dollar Instant Spin? Gone. All of the older Monte Carlo Wheel slots? Yup, taken out.

Most everything is the latest and greatest slots, the exact same shit you can find at your locals casino. 200 different Lighting Link clones. 100 different flavors of Buffaloes or random Chinese themes. What the Hell Vegas? How about some fucking parody! I get that a lot of people want to see the newest slots. But why not throw some classics in there too, like the Cosmo does at the front of their casino?

Normally, I would flip my free play into real money, just to enjoy being up a little for a brief while. Nope. Mlife makes you walk up to the players club booth to load the free play, and that line is at least 25 people deep, with just a couple of broads running the show. Do I have to say it? What the Fuck Vegas?!

I play, I lose, and in about 45 minutes I am down nearly a grand. That wasn't supposed to happen.

Some brief luck on the above.

I played that Fortune Finder my entire stay, and did OK on it. I pissed away way too much betting $20 on Jeopardy below, but with the exception of this hit, which should have been way more considering my bet, I got fucked on it. Never bonused.

Double fucked, when you consider it is a specialty slot, and that takes more than triple the coin in for the same point. Specialty slots that earn less points than other slots? What the Fuck Vegas?!

Down just over a grand, I have no choice but to wait the half hour in the Mlife booth line to load my free play. Quick note on the queue here, they took out the express lane for Platinum and Noir. Everyone waited in the same line like cattle. Yup, WTF indeed.

I ran my $400 in free play, into $400.75 on video poker. That's more like it!

With almost half my money back, in thanks to the Free Play, I have enough of a reload to play on!

I get my next hundo up to $252 playing whatever the fuck the below game is. And I roll that into $335 after a $100 hit on Thunder Cash. Slowly, I am clawing my way back!

Even though she is a cursed Specialty Slot, and I'd really like to earn enough points this trip to be Platinum once more. I get sucked into playing the new Hobbit at $7.50 per spin.

I get a bonus game fairly fast, and I kill on it for a $384.50 win! Best hit of the trip, and now I have a TITO for $500! All my money back, well almost! Right here, at this moment, I should have cashed out and went up to bed with the family. It is now about 10:30PM, which is 12:30AM "my" time.

Nope. I figure, if I just won $400 betting $7.50. I could have won $800 if I was betting $15.00! How could that go wrong? I was down to $100 (-$400) when I got a line hit for $125. Back to $218, which I pissed away as well. I done fucked up.

I played on for just another 30 minutes or so, which is all it took to lose a few hundred more. By the end of the brief night, I was down well over a grand of my money, and also the converted Free Play money they spotted me.

It happens. Tomorrow is another day. At least I have the 11PM elevator line to wait in to get back to my room. So, I have that going for me. See below, it pretty much stayed like this the entire trip.

Not to mention, the 10 minute walk to actually get to my room from the elevator. See that 23-135 sign? Yeah, that's me.

Day Two, Monday

As per the usual, I wake up before everyone else up in the morning. Toss on my shoes, head down for a smoke and some play. The wife knows to text me when they wake up, and get hungry. This is not our first rodeo.

I start off OK. I find a Cash Wheel I like to play, and it doesn't disappoint with a $140 bonus. I just have to do this about 7 more times, and Ill be even for the trip!

I pissed away way too much on this $9 Max Bet game below, trying to get the bonus. I managed a $105 hit, and finally a bonus for $104. But, by then, I was probably $300 into it. And a $104 bonus, on a $9 bet, is not going to impress anyone.

Get the text for their breakfast order, and head over to Citizen's, which outside of Starbucks, is the only place open at 8AM. Cup of yogurt, another shitty burrito, some pancakes and a breakfast sandwich. $65! Thank God I'm not actually paying for this shit. Another near hour ordeal, after waiting my turn to order and finally get said food.

Grab the food, and have one last smoke before I bring it up. I picked a good slot to sit and play on, as I nailed a $106 bonus on just a $3.00 bet. Gets me back a little of my money.

Everyone eats, and we slip into our swim suits. Turns out, from the master bed, I can see the Raiders stadium. Is it just me, or does that thing look like a giant Roomba?

Anyway, get down to the pool at 9AM sharp, and she was already packed with people! 9AM, in June, on a Tuesday, and the lazy river looked more like an inner tube parking lot.

The pool area here is great, I wont knock that at all. The kids had fun in the lazy river, but after an hour or so, there was just too many people. Mandalay needs to enforce some tube standards. Way too many idiots in giant inflatable ride-on floats, and those that brought in massive white water rafting style tubes.

You Fuckers should be embarrassed riding around, and running over people, in those big ass floats. What the Fuck Vegas?!

Back to the room to change, and the family hangs out a bit until we are ready for lunch.

I head back down to regain my fortunes, and the session starts off well, with a first spin bonus on the new James Bond. $8.00 max bet, and I pluck a bonus for $320.

I shitted most of that away, before finally getting a $111 bonus on this weird Cashman game I found.

Still losing, and faster than I want to, I cant really blame myself. I'm taking swings with $10-$20 bets, they just aren't landing. The same swings that kept saving my ass in Atlantic City a few months earlier, just aren't connecting here,

Case in point, $5 Denom Top Dollar. $10 per spin, and I finally land a bonus on it. Offers were between 10-25 credits. Rinse and repeat on a bunch of games. I was getting bonuses, but they just sucked ass and chewed through my bankroll.

It is about noon now, and I lost way too much money for a short early morning session. Wife brings down the kids, and we grab some Subway for lunch.

I shit you not, the kids split a foot long. I had a foot long, the wife had a six inch. As if she doesn't get that every night! Get it? 3 small bags of chips, and 1 drink to share. $55! Fifty Five Dollars for Subway! What the Hell Vegas?!

The Food Court is right next to Shark Reef. Something we like to do every time we are in town with the kids. Shark Reef is just OK, it is hard to spend more than an hour in here. Pro Tip, if you use your express comps at the gate to buy tickets, it is only $15 each with the players discount. Those same tickets are $29 if you buy them any other way. You MUST have enough Express Comps to cover everything you buy. They are not set up to do part express and part cash.

As with everything Vegas now, the Reef was packed. Normally, it is a relaxing jaunt through past the tanks. But when the space is packed, it is sort of hot and miserable in there.

Shark Reef THINKS they are controlling crowds, by making you buy a pass with a time stamp. They let a new group in every 30 minutes. This actually works against them, as everyone queues up for their slot, and they pump a good 25-50 people into the place at the exact same time. Dummies!

We picked and chose what and where to experience. But most people just went through the place as one big heard.

Speaking of herds, now that I am on day 2 of this vacation. Vegas must be at 95% vaccination rate! It seems about 1 in 20 people were still wearing a mask. That leaves 19 out of 20 maskless. And you cant be walking around, indoors, without a mask is you are unvaccinated. Good job everybody!

Yes, we did buy her this overpriced $30 stuffed Octopus below. We are dumb shits like that. It was her "One Thing", and I am sure we will end up tossing it away like so many other stuffed friends in a couple years.

The wife wanted to nap, the kids wanted to play tablets in their room. It was then, that the power blew out in our master bedroom bathroom. We had a closet that wouldn't stop being lit, and a shitter that refused to be lit! I told the people at the desk downstairs about both issues, and they promised to send someone up to fix it.

And with that, the girls head back up and I head over to Luxor!

They have some, not many, but some older slots I play in here. Most notably by the abandoned buffet entrance.

Towards the back of the hotel, near the hardly ever opened Pyramid Cafe, they still have a bank of older ITG Top Box slots.

I think the below is the most I have ever won on a King of Cash before. And I have been playing these things for nearly 20 years now!

That $150 win, was the high water mark for my Luxor gambling today. I gave that back, and a few hundred more.

Wife wants dinner by now, and with almost everything in Mandalay Bay closed, we head over to the Excalibur Food Court.

We ate at Breakfast & Burgers. They serve, well, Breakfast & Burgers. Two Breakfast sandwiches, some tater tots and a burger was almost $50 with 1 drink. Vegas has always stiffed you for food, but this is getting nuts. Even the food courts are raping you now.

From there, we head down to the Fun Dungeon. No need to drag your kids through the casino, there is a shortcut elevator right off the food court, that will take you directly inside.

The younger kid loved it, the older one seems to be too cool for school these days.

Normally, I'd walk them back to the hotel, send them up to bed and stay on to play. But I pissed away well over another thousand bucks today once more, and I just do not have that big of a bankroll to keep going at this rate.

Back to back days, and I feel like I am just not getting very much play for my money. WTF Vegas?!

Well, at least I still have 3 more days, and this awesome view from my room. Also, no one bothered to come fix anything in the room.

Day Three, Tuesday

All in all, I lost more than half my money in the first 36 hours of being in town. It happens, I am not a sore loser. Just a little disappointed how things are going. Especially considering how long I have looked forward to this trip. Not being a Debbie Downer, just setting the mood for how I felt when I woke up.

The usual Vegas morning, slot around and wait for them to wake.

I was doing OK on this Ainsworth slot below. I was down to my last max bet, when I hit a bonus that gave me all my money back. Maybe my luck has finally turned around?

And the answer to that? Nope. I lost that, and a few hundred more waiting for the breakfast order text. Fuck me!

Same deal as always, only place open was Citizens. Same overpriced mediocre food. Same nearly an hour wait from start to finish before I got our grub in hand. Man, I am not used to these lines! If they would just open up a few more dining outlets, and spread these people around, it wouldn't be so bad!

Eat, pool, change clothes and off for a Strip Adventure today. The plan is to head down to Mirage and do the Secret Gardens. I bought these passes using a MyVegas BOGO. And when I bought them, I was not thinking of a 110+ degree day outside.

Before we head to the cab stand, I hop in the VIP room to steal a Pepsi and tell them that I asked for someone to fix my busted shit, and how no one came. They too logged it in the system, and we hoped to come back to a working suite once more.

Cab from MB down to Mirage at 11AM was about $13. $20, including tip.

Walking into Mirage just felt like Vegas to me. So many memories of playing here over the past 20+ years. I remember in the late 90's, this place being the cats ass! Now, it is sort of dark and cramped.

Skip the lines to buy tickets, as I had them on my mobile already. That Mlife app I installed? It is a worthless piece of shit. I ended up using a shortcut to the Mlife mobile site instead the entire trip. That showed my mobile tickets, my losses, my points and everything else I needed.

Mobile site > Mlife app.

It was hot outside. Damn hot! They did have water stations opened, which helped some. But in that heat, the few pussy cats that still live here were just zonked out.

They do not do a dolphin show, per say. They do a training exhibition, which is just a show without music. The kids liked it, and you really do get to be up close to the dolphins. But, same as with the Shark Reef, this place is maybe a good hour tops, before you run out of shit to see.

I sneak out of there a little early to play, and leave them to eat some ice cream in the air conditioned gift shop. I have done well at the Mirage in the past. I have spent hours in their area of my older slots in the past, right next to the deli. Good memories playing here!

I thought for sure I just hit a jackpot, to save the trip, when the first 2 Triple Diamonds showed up. Oh well, at least I didn't donk it and not line up something on the 3rd line.

I played a couple more games, and ended up back down to my original hundo. I headed over to the older slot section, and, they are all gone!

In typical MGM fashion, they ripped them all out, and now its just a waste of space with some shit paytable video poker games. What the Fuck Mirage?!

Not only is my super cool retro slots wing gone, so is my Deli! Its now some generic cafe. Boo!

Seriously, look at the picture below. Look at that wasted space! Mirage, compared to the other Strip casinos, has a small footprint as it is. And with all these slots being removed, there really isn't much to play in here at all.

With literally nothing else I wanted to play here, we headed out to walk over to Bellagio. All of the other slots in there, were the same games I already saw at both Luxor and MB.

Normally, I love bouncing from casino to casino seeing what different games I can find. Now a days, its all mostly the same shit in a different setting.

Now that I have been here for a few days, I have had a good chance to see plenty of humans once more. And I gotta ask, what's up with Dudes wearing fanny-packs, but over one shoulder like a Girl Scout wearing her badge sash? I'm seeing this everywhere. They gotta know how stupid this looks, right? I remember a brief trend about 10 years ago, when it was "cool" to wear your backpack backwards, and look like a pregnant woman.

And not just the youngsters are doing this. I'm seeing 30 and 40 year old men slinging that sash. Weird shit.

We are all nice and sticky now from the heat. We timed our walk over perfectly, to be able to see the Bellagio Fountain show. Andddddd, it is down for maintenance. We did get to see a bunch of guys floating around in a raft. So, that was fun.

The plan is, to get the girls some nice slushies from the cafe in here. Let them cool down, while I run around the casino as fast as I can for 30 minutes. Just one problem, they redid the Cafe and removed the Icee machines. So much disappointment in Vegas this trip.

I get them some croissants and a cold drink, and I roll the dice in the casino.

The gambling? Not so good. Bellagio actually still has some older games laying around. Pretty much the best assortment of any Mlife casino. I'll give them credit for that! And it seems like the only casino that hasn't been purged of games. The casino is still mostly filled, as it should be. Whoever runs the slot floor at the B, should take over ALL Mlife casinos in town.

Needless to say, I still managed to lose $400 in literally 20 minutes. What the fuck is going on here?

I was walking back to the cafe, tail tucked firmly between my ass cheeks, when I spotted a $5 21 Gambler slot. These suckers are rare! Cosmo has a $1 Denom version. I don't recall ever seeing this $5 denom one here before. I tell myself, what's another hundred bucks lost by this point?

Almost immediately I get the bonus. I was just going to give it a few whacks, and see what happens. Grid = Smart! I ended up with a black jack for $500! In your face Vegas!

I'd like to say I took that $500 win, which now brought back all my losses here along with a $100 profit. But I'd be lying. I didn't come to Vegas to break even!

I did cash it out, but the Siren song of all these older $5 Denom slots really tickled my asshole. I gave myself $100 to chase on $5 Pinball. Karma can only fuck me so many times when I press my wins after all.

Glad I did! On my very last spin, I got the bonus. And it was a good bonus too, for $500!

Normally, this is where I go off the rails. I could have cashed that out, and claimed victory over at least one fucking casino this trip. Nope.

I text the wife pics of both hits, and as far as she knows I am up $1,000 now. She says if I am hot, to keep playing. They are fine munching away in the Iceeless cafe.

I get that $500 Tito up to $600 with the below hit. Then down to $585, and up to $685 with another hundo hit. Down to $589 and up to $689 with the Trifecta of ways to win $100 on this machine. The very same machine that stole $300 from me as soon as we got here.

I played on for a few more games, and I actually walked out of Bellagio with nearly a grand. I'll take it!

Their Summer display...

Through the atrium, over to the monorail. Which is actually working, unlike the fucking monorail at Mandalay Bay, which was down for our entire trip. WTF Vegas?

Get out at Park MGM, over to NY NY and back to the castle to head home. We stayed at Park MGM a couple years ago. It was, and still is, no smoking. I give them credit for that. Long overdue, to have at least one nonsmoking casino in town. Even though I smoke. With that said, that trip, and this pass through, there were still people smoking in there. Except, since there are no ashtrays, they just ashed on the floor and dumped butts into empty drink glasses. Gross!

Back to Mandalay Bay, and we room charge some Mexican food from Hussong's Cantina in their mall. The food prices were actually OK, and comparable to other fancier Mexican joints. They take our to go order from the hosts desk, and when I asked if the wife and kids could sit down at the table up front (The place was nearly empty) she sort of scoffed at the idea. I guess sitting is for those eating in, and those paying the same money to take out, have to stand in the middle of the mall out front. Really? WTF Vegas?!

The food, was not good. And when I say that, we threw most of it away. I ordered a couple of steak tacos, without lettuce or tomato. They gave it to me with nothing on it at all. No cheese, no sour cream, no nothing. Just greasy meat on a small tortilla. The nachos, by the time we got to the room, coagulated into some funky hard mess of waxy cheese. It was inedible. On the plus side, their refried beans were the best I ever ate! With the exception of that, it was a waste of money.

Still hungry, but also wanting to play, I head back down to the casino.

So much potential in the old stupid shark game below. You just need to get into the bonus, where the bonus symbols become wilds. $172.50 win on my $5 bet. This was the 5th time I got the bonus on this game since I got here. And the first time I won anything over $30 on it.

In typical fashion, zero luck on the slots here. Outside the below hit on Top Dollar, I got fucked once again. Another Grand lost for the day. Well, more than a Grand, since I lost what I won at Bellagio. In the end, another Grand from my bankroll gone. And to add insult to injury, closet still broke and the bathroom still out of commission. No one bothered to come. The guest desk, and now the VIP desk both failed to do anything for us. What the Fuck Vegas?

Day 4, Wednesday

Last full day in Vegas. Day 1, we got settled in. Day 2, pool & Shark Reef. Day 3 was pool & Secret Gardens. Today? Today we get my money back!

You know the drill. The girls sleep, I degen. Blah Blah Blah.

I take $150 off the below right away, and think today is going to be my day!

Turns out, it wasn't my day. At least not yet! I piss away a few more hundos waiting for the breakfast bunch to wake up.

We skip the pool today, and instead head out to explore the Strip. We grabbed breakfast at Ri Ra in the Mandalay Bay Mall. It was good, and actually priced OK for what you got. It took 4 days for us to get a decent meal in. In case you are wondering, you can room charge some of the eateries in the MB mall to your room, and use your resort credit to pay it off.

Still so much to love about Luxor and their theme. Even if MGM is trying to kill it off. Speaking of which, the all new Resorts World just opened when we got out here. It was supposed to have a strong China theme to it. Replica of the Great Wall. Streets of old China, set up like an old timey market. Even a live Panda exhibit!

Instead, they turned the Great Wall into an average wall made of polished marble everywhere. The Streets of old China is just a food court with different Oriental food outlets. And it is now Prada, instead of Pandas. While it looks nice, as any billion dollar resort should. There is just no need for me to go out of my way, to see yet another modern casino go up.

You built a massive pyramid, with a boat ride and talking camels? I'm there! A replica of New York, with a roller coaster running through it? Yes please! A boring modern resort with high end shopping and tan everything? Um, I'm good Dawg. No theme, no love!

Out through Excalibur and we are free to roam around Vegas!

The wife takes the kids into Hersey World, and I hit the casino at New York New York for the first time this trip.

And just look at all that space! So many slots removed from here as well. Mind you, this all started well before the pandemic. So, so stupid.

I lost a few hundred, and got that back playing Little Shop of Horror. It was one of the few games all trip, that I could camp out on and rack up some points. This $264 bonus is actually a pretty damn big win for this game.

No harm, no foul at NY NY. I didn't lose too much here. I meet up with the girls outside, and we head over to M&M World.

We actually had to wait in line to get in here. Vegas has plenty of lines these days, even for stupid shit like shopping for overpriced candy!

And yes, we did buy some overpriced candy. The same M&M's we could have gotten at Target for $1.00, we paid 10 times as much to get them in a cute plastic container.

From there, we went over to The World of Coca-Cola. So many "World's" in Vegas.

And, yes, we waited in line to get in here as well. Nuts! I have no idea what good these lines do, as the stores themselves are jam packed once you get inside.

Pro Tip, get yourself the tray of floats here. I covered this before, but you people might need a reminder. You get 8 decent sized pop floats with vanilla ice cream for $11. Less than $1.50 each, and that is as good of a deal you will find for anything in Vegas these days.

Tummy nice and carbonated now, and after spending a good 3 hours wandering the Strip, we make the trek back.

We ask the kids what they want to do, but after walking in that heat, waiting in those lines and dealing with the crush of humanity all around us. They just want to go back to the room and putz around.

Fine by me! I still have money to lose!

I got a decent bonus on Gators below. But after a good hour of trying, all I got was sad and I hemorrhaged even more money.

Fuck it, I'm going up to the room to play with the kids.

We eventually decide to head over to Excal once more so I can explore the slots at the Crappy Castle. The wife takes the kids to the Dungeon to play, and I try my luck in the casino.

They actually have some gems mixed in with all the generic new slots. I found an old ass Reel'em In! I actually got some play for my money on this one. The best I did for a hit, was a $115 bonus on my $5.00 bet

I played around for a good 30 mins, and still lost a few hundred bucks. No luck here either.

The kids were still having fun, so I joined their gang.

Not much to report after this. Another thousand gone, and that is nearly the end of my bankroll for the trip.

I did run into my host, and we chatted a bit. He is from Chicago too. I told him I never ask for anything, but could he has someone come up to fix the room in my shitter? He laughed, and said they are short engineers right now. But he will call in a favor. For those keeping track, this would be the 3rd attempt at getting my room fixed. So annoying having to run out of our room, through the suite and into the kids bathroom after having marital relations.

Day 5, Thursday

Last day in Vegas. It is bitter sweet, as this was the first vacation we have had in nearly 2 years. But, I am sort of looking forward to getting home, as all this losing really took its toll on me. So much went wrong, so fast. And not just the gambling.

I came down to play, even though I only had a few hundred bucks on me. I turned my $180 in point play I saved up, into $200 of real money on video poker once more. But I lost that as well.

Snacks in the room, hit the pool one last time, and finally head out for breakfast at the Pyramid Cafe, which is only open from like 10AM to 2PM for some reason. It seems to be the main place to eat at Luxor, but they kept the short hours there as well.

This entire time, we couldn't find a single place that served grilled cheese for the little kid. The only reason we came here, was because they have it on the menu for like $16 with fries. She ordered it, and wouldn't eat it. She said it was gross. They made it in a waffle iron for some reason. So, the cheese was hard and smooshed. And the bread was black and dimpled. WTF Vegas?

I put $20 aside for the limo driver, and dropped my last hundo into Top Dollar. The same ones that were fucking me all trip. Some fleeting luck, but that went away fast.

Limo driver was on time. And while this bald guy was not as fun as Anthony who picked us up. He was very polite and took care of us on the ride over. We had to repeat "Spirit Airlines" to him 3 times, as I guess he doesn't get many players taking Limos to that piece of shit cheap airline.

I wish I could say I still had fun, but this trip really stuck in my crawl for some reason. It had been years, like 10 of em in fact, where I pissed away all my money on a gambling trip. And to do so without much play, makes my stomach hurt a little.

The lines, the crowds, the overpriced everything. So much of Vegas still being shut down, even though they are cleared to reopen. All the many of my favorite slots being removed. It was too hot to explore. So much of what I love about being in Vegas, is just wandering around and soaking it all in. The only thing I soaked in this trip, was some heat stroke.

I had high expectations for this trip, and Vegas failed me on almost every level. Outside of a few laughs with the family, and just being together on vacation, nothing was really memorable in a good way.

BTW, someone did come up that last morning to fix the closet door light. But, no one ever bothered to fix the bathroom power. I let them know, when they asked me how my stay was at checkout. Just so they can take the room out of commission to get it fixed. And she said she would let someone know. Yeah, I bet! This was the forth time I had heard that. Fuck it, its the next guests problem now.

Take a look below at my coin-in from Borgata a few months prior. On that trip, Dad did play some on my card. We managed nearly $32,000 of coin in, over 2 nights with them. And for that, we lost $960 combined. It was a rock solid trip for sure, and better than I normally do.

Below that, take a look at my now Mandalay Bay losses for this trip. $16,500 of coin in. That is half as much play as I got in at Borgata alone, even though I played/stayed here twice as long. And my losses? $4,000 just at Mandalay Bay. That is roughly a hold of 25% IE a slot return of 75%. The games I play "should" return roughly 92-94%. Certainly not 75%! Yes, variance is a bitch. I just couldn't get on the good side of things at all this trip.

Plus my losses at Excal, the grand I dropped in total at Luxor which was offset by the Grand I took off of Bellagio. Plus some small losses at NY NY & Mirage.

And I did less than $30K coin in, against well over $4,000 lost this trip.

I did manage to earn about 75,000 tier credits. Which would be enough to jump from base Sapphire, past Pearl and right into Gold tier. I guess that's something.

But I did lose 4 times as much, for the same coin in as I just got in AC. And that just shouldn't happen. What the Hell Happened to Vegas?

The only way to get this bad taste out of my mouth, is to book another Vegas trip and try harder not to suck this time!

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