Empathic Listening

"“People don’t listen to understand. They listen to reply. The collective monologue is everyone talking and no one listening.”

- Stephen Covey

Learn:

What is Empathic Listening?

Empathic listening is a combination of active listening and a reflection of feelings. Through this type of listening, the listener strives to understand the emotions and meaning behind what people say (and maybe what they're not saying). It takes empathy and compassion a step further in trying to better understand someone intellectually and emotionally. It can create closer connections and build more meaningful relationships.

A misconception of empathic listening is when a listener tries to offer solutions when a person is describing their experience. Instead of listening, we go into problem solving mode. This often leads to misunderstanding and potential frustration.

When listening, focus on making affirming statements that offer a warm and supportive stance (e.g., “Thank you for sharing”, "I'm here to listen if you want to talk"). When practicing empathic listening, often begin with “You…” (leave “I” out of it)(e.g., "You feel frustrated that you aren't being heard"). Also, comment on the positives you notice. For example, the person's strengths, values, accomplishments, efforts, and good intentions.

Something to watch:

Empathy Vs. Sympathy

Short Video & Tips for Empathic Listening

Talking to kids - Empathic Listening

10 ways to have a better conversation

What are the benefits?

Something to read:

Article: How Empathic Listening Can Build Deeper Connections in Your Life

https://www.verywellmind.com/how-to-try-empathic-listening-8357721

Article: 7 Tips for Empathic Listening

https://www.crisisprevention.com/en-CA/Blog/7-Tips-for-Empathic-Listening

Reflect:

What does empathy mean to you? When do you feel most understood?
What gets in the way of empathy?
What does a good listener look like?
Why is asking open-ended questions an important step in empathic listening?
How are you framing your questions when listening to someone in conflict?
When you are listening, are you focusing on feelings or facts?
How comfortable are you with silence and reflection when trying to understand another person's point of view? Why is this important?

Act:

Adapted from Berkeley Well-Being Institute

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Activities to Try:

Empathic Listening Activities

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