Couples wonder if intimacy will ever be like it was before the baby. Passion loses to sleep almost every time.
Other factors that change our level of interest or desire may include:
• Some people are apprehensive that intercourse will be painful. A person who is breastfeeding may find that their natural lubrication is inadequate and that penetration is uncomfortable.
• The postpartum period is also a period of extreme fatigue for both parents, hardly conducive to romantic feelings.
• Some newborns are very emotionally demanding of their birthing parent and require much physical contact. Some birthing people may avoid physical contact with their partners because they are emotionally drained by the baby’s demands.
Bearing in mind all these negative factors, it is also true that this in one of the times in a couple’s relationship when a satisfying sex life can most benefit their relationship. The postpartum person may need the assurance that their partner still finds them sexually attractive.
Both parents need to know that their own intimate relationship and love for each other can withstand their new roles as parents. This is an excellent time to explore pleasure, which might be massage, kissing, cuddling, and stroking. Things that used to feel pleasurable might not right away. Take it slow. Some people do not feel interested or ready to resume having vaginal intercourse until six weeks or more after the baby is born. Others are “interested” within a week or two.
A good general rule of thumb is to wait until bleeding has stopped or is only very light for vaginal penetration. If any bleeding of discharge remains, use a condom not only for birth control, but to protect the uterus from infection. The cervix is still open to allow blood to flow out of the uterus, which also allows bacteria up into the uterus.