Rita's Derelict House Narrative

Here is the start of Rita's narrative about being dared to go into a derelict house.

See how many different ways she has tried to make her writing effective.

The thought of the old abandoned house kept running through my mind, just taunting me. I felt sick. I was dared to go in at midnight tonight. You know that old wonky looking house, on Maybury street, the one that has had no cars go in and out of the driveway for years? Yeah well that’s the exact house I have to step inside tonight. “Why did you dare me that? It’s scary enough walking past it every morning but going inside it? Worse. C’mon dare me something else” I begged Jake, my so called best friend.

“Nahr. No backing out.” I forgot I had promised to not back out. Shoot.

I was now standing outside the house... oh well, um I guess a half broken down, rubble loaded house. It was going onto midnight, and my nerves were now getting the best of me. I lurked around to the back of the decrepit house, and found that the grass was waist high. Quite believable. I felt the grass rustle against my legs, but at the same time heard the sound of footsteps hitting against the long grasses roots coming toward me. With the beam of my phones light just being able to reach two metres away, I shone it to my left and saw a glimpse of Jake’s appearance getting bigger, and bigger, coming toward me.

“Finally. Where were you. Let’s get this over and done with. Okay” I said with a heavy heart.

We were now on the first step going up towards the front door. The creaking noise coming from each step I took, made my heart feel more, and more petrified. I gazed down to my phone, and it was now midnight. Exactly. I put my hand on the cold rusty doorknob. I twisted it very slowly, like in those movies, and it opened to a musty scent coming from the inside. Now I couldn’t turn back. Half of my body was now inside the house, and the other half hesitating to go in.

Reluctantly I stepped over a gaping hole, which I could visibly see right through to the house’s broken down foundations. I gawk around and see that there are cobwebs everywhere. My heart starts to pound faster.