Adding Details To Narrative Plot.

            • Creating your own narrative – building tension and atmosphere

            • The situation

            • A boy explores an abandoned old house. He finds an old trunk which he is about to open. He hears noises and is scared.

            • Task

                  • You are going to turn this situation into a passage of tense and spooky writing. Use the frame below to help you build up your ideas.

                • 1 The boy arrives at the house

                • Build up a vivid picture of the house using interesting adjectives, and similes to make it seem spooky.

                • 2 The boy hesitates before going in

                • Describe the thoughts going through his head. Use sentences with two or three clauses to create a feeling of flow, and questions such as ‘what if...? And ‘should he...?’ to suggest uncertainty and fear.

                • 3 The boy enters and walks through the house

                • Describe his impressions of the house using different senses to create a vivid impression in the reader’s mind.

                • 4 The boy sees an old trunk or chest

                • Describe the chest, using interesting adjectives to make it seem mysterious. Describe the boy’s thoughts when he sees it – show that he is curious. Again, when describing his thoughts, try to use complex sentences.

                • 5 The boy approaches the trunk to open it

                • Try using some shorter sentences to describe his actions to create tension.

                • You can mix these with longer sentences to describe his thoughts as he moves towards the trunk.

                • 6 He hears a noise and stops

                • Now you need to build up the fear as much as possible. Short sentences on lines of their own will help you to suggest surprise.

                • Use adjectives and adverbs to describe the boy’s reactions – you need to show fear though his actions and thoughts.

                • 7 What happens next? You decide

                • You could end this with an amusing let-down, or continue with the mystery. Either way, try to continue using the techniques you have been practising. Think about the following:

    • Vocab

The house from the outside.

  • derelict house abandoned house shattered glass cracked window pane peeling paint faded long overgrown grass rustling rotting weatherboards rusty hinges cracked path piles of rubble guttering hanging

  • grimy windows bucket of slimy water door banging in the wind rubble of bricks splintered floorboards gaping hole in the verandah broken tiles rusty roofing sagging verandah cracked tiles overgrown bushes/trees collapsed chimney.

      • How would your character be feeling. Remember show not tell

    • pounding heart looked furtively sweaty hands walked cautiously hesitated change of heart

  • glanced around startled

  • Your character/s have entered the house. Describe what it is like. Think about all the senses. What do they see, smell, hear, feel.

  • Make sure your sentences connect.

  • Vocab

  • Try write 2 versions. 1) Include speech, complex sentence, question, simple sentence,

    • 2) Adverbial clause (how) , complex sentence, exclamation, speech.

      • Adverbial clause (how) Adding a phrase or word that describes how the action was done by the subject

      • e.g. Jessica whispered to Tiana, "Look over there."

      • Tom tried to solve the maths problem

      • the boy sprinted down the field

      • the dog barked at the cat`

      • Smell

      • moth balls (old people)

      • toejam damp shoes

      • rotten food mouldy mildewy rotten cheese

      • rotting rubbish

      • Sight

      • cobwebs

      • crumbling walls

      • warped floor

      • smashed windows

      • shattered glass

      • tatty antique furniture

      • torn wallpaper

      • hanging portraits above the fireplace

      • creaking doors and floors

      • dripping

      • rumbling thunder outside

      • patter of pigeons on the roof

      • rats scuttling

      • possum in the roof scrambling around

      • splintered stairs

      • plaster crumbling in your hands

      • sticky cobwebs smothering your face

      • cold doorhandles

      • rough door handles.