Chiclets Asunder

Saint Paul, 7 September 2003

Nobody wants crooked teeth or a blown o-ring

But should I trust my child’s mouth to

The Chiclets Asunder Orthodontists or

Should I allow my government’s space program to

Procure from The Budget O-Rings Company?

No one wants to play chicken with safety

But should I trust my final sky-diving jump to

The Psychotic Parachute Packers Union or

Should I allow my highway department to

Buy from The Thelma & Louise Guardrail Company?

Nobody wants an uncredentialed quack for primary care

But should I confide my most private thoughts to

The Straight-Jacket Psychotherapists LLC or

Should I allow my father-in-law’s plumbing to

Be examined by The Crackpot Urologists Group?

No one seeks blatant professional mediocrity

But should my property line be measured by

The Dang-Near Bang-On Surveyors Incorporated or

Should I allow my country’s future aggression to

Be underwritten by Napalm Fire Insurance Limited?

Nobody seeks joy in the roulette of uncertainty

But should our genetic seeds be randomly yanked by

Naked-Eye Integrity Prophylactics Incorporated or

Should I allow my friend and neighbors to continue to

Buy lottery tickets at the Face Mask Convenience Store?

Notes:

Chiclets are pieces of gum that approximate the rectangular size

of one's top front teeth.