What is Fairness?

Fairness is treating people justly, not letting your personal feelings bias your decisions about others. You want to give everyone a fair chance, and believe there should be equal opportunity for all, though you also realize that what is fair for one person might not be fair for another.

(Taken from https://www.viacharacter.org/character-strengths/fairness )

For some, it is easy to see what the impact of their words and actions have on others. Their sense of fairness keeps them aware of how words or actions make others feel left out, if they have less or more, or when things are not similar to all.

For others, they focus from their standpoint and their focus on fairness is mainly as it relates to them. (They too can learn to focus their strength of fairness towards others if they desire to, by remembering to consider another person's perspective and practicing. This is often done after they feel their needs are met. )

Both ways, the strength of Fairness comes out.

Consider this:

Fairness is sometimes easy and sometimes complex.

If you have a high sense of fairness then you also have the expectation of others being fair to you. And fair to each other.

We all have a sense of what is fair but we have different ways of doing or showing that. You might find how you express something is not fair may be different during different times in our lives, and in different situations. How do you express if you notice something is not fair now?

• Involve others in decisions that affect them and allow them to disagree with your ideas and assumptions. Invite their ideas for other ways to approach the decision.

(taken from https://www.viacharacter.org/character-strengths/fairness )

• Look for beings (e.g., people, animals) that are cast aside or typically held in disgust and go out of your way to treat them right.

• Include someone in a conversation who is typically excluded from groups or is a newcomer.

(taken from https://www.viacharacter.org/topics/articles/tips-for-using-each-character-strength-in-a-new-way )

Tayyab Rashid and Afroze Anjum offer 340 Ways to Use VIA Character Strengths including these four for Fairness:

1. Encourage equal participation of everyone involved in a discussion or activity, especially those who feel left out. Foster a reputation as an includer.

2. Read biographies of famous people who exemplify social justice, such as Gandhi, Martin Luther King, and Nelson Mandela. Consider what strengths you share with these figures.

(Taken from https://www.strengthsmining.com/via-strengths/justice/fairness/ )

One Easy Way to Make Someone Happier

BY DR. RYAN NIEMIEC

When my son was young he was admitted to the hospital for an inflammation in his lungs. He spent several days being treated and monitored by a variety of doctors, nurses, and aides. My wife and I spent the days sitting by his bedside, attempting to work remotely, and discussing his progress with the staff. During one of his checkups, a team of three doctors came in and went through the standard questions, comments, and advice. Nothing new.

But one doctor did something different: With her Irish dialect she offered some observations of my son over the days. Amidst a handful of statements she made describing him, I caught the words: “vibrant,” “hard-working,” and “inquisitive.” Her exact words. My mind immediately went to the thought that she seemed to be spotting his character strengths. I was hearing particular character traits like “zest,” “perseverance,” and “curiosity.”

I asked her to explain her view of each observation. She readily did. She explained how he is full of energy and is always moving his arms and legs and turning his body with force (i.e., zest). She noted how he is quick to look around in the room, albeit a limited space, in an exploratory way, and is ready to interact with people when they approach him (i.e., curiosity). And, she added, he works hard at whatever challenge he is given whether it’s to reach a toy, sit up, or finish eating and that his congestion and wires hooked up to his body do not get in his way (i.e., perseverance).

Even though she was not aware of it, she was offering strengths-spotting. And this had an immediate positive effect on my mood. I felt lighter and happier. My perception of her, a physician looking at all aspects of my son and not just his illness, widened and strengthened. I will never forget that physician, or her Irish accent.

Oh, did I mention my son was only 8-months-old? Strengths-spotting can start anytime….any place….with anyone.

Knowing that this physician had probably not heard of positive psychology or of the new science of character strengths, I explained to her what she had done: amidst the problems and difficulties she had taken time to notice the good, to spot what is strong, to shift from weakness to strength. I told her, in front of the other medical staff and physicians at the “morning rounds,” how much I appreciated what she had done. This feedback seemed to give her a mood boost and I noticed her physician colleagues suddenly jumping on the bandwagon too and wanted to offer their positive feedback as well.

A virtuous circle had been created. The strengths-spotting of person to another led to positive feelings which in turn led to further strengths-spotting and positive feelings and so on.

Want to get better at strengths-spotting? It will lift your mood and the mood of others. Here are some tips to help you get started:

• Practice observing people. At your next social event, emphasize listening and looking over speaking.

• Put on “strengths goggles” by listening/looking for strengths in the people around you. It might be helpful to have this list of character strengths in front of you.

• Label the positive in a precise way (e.g., “I see bravery in you”)

• Offer an example or rationale for the strength you see (e.g., “I see fairness in you because you always seem to stick up for other people”).

• Make your feedback to people genuine and honest.

• Keep your feedback relevant to the situation you are in.