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Even though anger feels BIG how is anger not really in control?
You can see what Fear’s role is. You can also see that Anger provides you the burst of energy to change a situation. Embarrassment makes you want to hide (under a table) by doing its job to help you feel safe from making mistakes in front of other people. Sadness lets us know we lost something important to us.
You can see what Fear’s role is. You can also see that Anger provides you the burst of energy to change a situation. Embarrassment makes you want to hide (under a table) by doing its job to help you feel safe from making mistakes in front of other people. Sadness lets us know we lost something important to us.
And what other emotions can you name?
What might some of these emotions be trying to do too?
How do each of these try to help you? How can you recognize how they influence you?
Can you remember times when you feel more than one emotions or even different feelings at the same time?
A Challenge For You
A Challenge For You
Instead of saying I feel "bad" see if you can create a list of emotions so you can broaden your understanding and labeling of them for yourself and others. Instead of "I feel bad", you could say "I feel disappointed" or "I feel like I am not being heard."
7 steps for working with your FEAR (not controlling it)
7 steps for working with your FEAR (not controlling it)
It is okay that you are scared. Your systems are working!
Understand Fear's job of keeping you stay safe from so many things!
Allow Fear to give you its message(s) of what it is trying to protect you from. The more you resist it, try to ignore it, tell it to go away, the more it tries to get your attention. Remember, it's role is a messenger with important information to give you! The more you criticize yourself for having fear, or think you are weak for having fear, the more confused you will get. It is very basic: You have fear to alert you of the information that may create danger or discomfort to you-so you can be protected.
Thank it for doing its job. Really, try thanking it. After all, it's only doing its job-and it does a great job! Fear will always be with you-for the rest of your life. It will never stop trying to help you. So you might want to develop a healthy relationship with this part of you. And, actually, you do not want it to stop giving you messages! Imagine how it would go trying to hug a real life grizzly bear because it is so cute!
Ask yourself: What is my Fear trying to inform me of? Yes, ask this when you notice you have a fear. This lets you know what you want to see happen or most likely what you do not want to see happen. Either way, something of value to you is being recognized.
After you have received the message Fear is trying to give you, YOU get to choose what to do. Fear gave you the message but you get to decide what you will do with that information. what risk are you willing to take, how do you want to be, who do you want to be)
What is the Minimum Level of Preparedness? Your fear wants you to avoid or at least be prepared for something. Maybe in order to let that something you are fearing go, or set it down for a little while, you might want to create some small way of handling the situation. You might find if you make some minimum level of being prepared that may be helpful and honoring your emotion.
Know that you have layers, upon layers, of fear. Just when you think you are 'over' fear, new ones pop up. However, this is not necessarily a 'bad' thing. It may signal you are expanding. You are learning new situations, In a lot of ways fear may lead to, or be in relation to the strength of Prudence. With all these fears you consistently get to choose safety by staying put-or risk growth by using Bravery.
What is Prudence you ask?
Prudence means being careful about your choices, stopping and thinking before acting. It is a strength of restraint. When you are prudent, you are not taking unnecessary risks, and not saying or doing things that you might later regret.
6 steps for working with your Anger (not controlling it)
6 steps for working with your Anger (not controlling it)
It is okay that you are mad. Your systems are working!
Understand Anger's job of giving you the energy to change a situation!
Remove yourself from the situation that is bringing Anger out. Anger is trying to tell you it does not like something so to stay in something you are not liking will only make anger get louder!
Admit you are angry. Anger is powerful! Often, when you admit you are angry about something then it knows you have received it's message and will start working with the information given to you.
Ask yourself: What am I angry about? Yes, ask this. Asking this slows things down and helps you to find out exactly what you are hurt by, disappointed by, or afraid of that anger is trying to help you make things happen differently.
After you have received the message Anger is trying to give you, YOU get to choose what to do. Anger is powerful but it does not rule you-even though it feels like it does. The more you can slow things down the more you find out you DO have choices of what you do with feeling the burst of energy anger gives you.
Learn from Anger. You are learning how to work with an explosive feeling. Each time you are angry you get to learn more about yourself, and more how to work with it or how to work with it differently next time. The more you work with anger by not being afraid of it you can learn how to slow things down--to respond rather than react and you can gain confidence with this emotion. The more you work with it rather than letting it rule or wishing it was not a part of you the less out of control you feel when it comes, the more skill you can have with this feeling.
Like all your emotions, Anger will always be with you-for the rest of your life. It will never stop trying to help you. So you might want to develop a healthy relationship with this part of you. And, actually, you do not want it to stop giving you messages! Imagine how it would go if you did not get mad by the way people treated you or treated others.
What is Prudence you ask?
Prudence means being careful about your choices, stopping and thinking before acting. It is a strength of restraint. When you are prudent, you are not taking unnecessary risks, and not saying or doing things that you might later regret.
What is the picture of behind the words at the top of this webpage and why do you think that picture was selected?
What is the picture of behind the words at the top of this webpage and why do you think that picture was selected?
You might have heard that our emotions are within the Amygdala and thinking is within our Cortex. When we feel a strong emotion it is felt first within the Amygdala then if we can SLOW down long enough we can use our Cortex to think through more. Slowing down is an important step if we want to use more of our abilities to respond rather than react to this emotion.
Often, working with anger goes with our strengths of Self-Control and Prudence. Other strengths that may be near anger is Fairness, Perspective, Judgment, Honesty, Forgiveness.
Often, fear works with our strengths of Prudence and Bravery.
Often, sadness works within our strengths of Love and Hope.
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