What is a legacy if you have no one to share it with?
I find it difficult to define things that aren’t tangible
How do you wrap your head around something that you are constantly creating but that won't matter until you leave this Earth
When I was younger I cared more about my legacy, about the impact I would leave on the world
I had dreams of curing cancer, of winning a Nobel prize
Of truly making a name for myself
But my biggest goal was always to be happy and I’m still trying to figure out the best way to accomplish that
For the past few years that has been my only goal
Ms.Vicky is happy
And it’s infectious
When I think back to the teachers who have made the biggest impact on me they are all Black Older women
Single, but by choice
Fiercely independent
Yet warm
Someone both organized and a mess
Maybe that’s why even though I’m almost 30 I still feel the need to say, Ms.Vicky
When everyone else just calls her by her name
I view her as a teacher and I an eager child
Ms.Vicky is turning “70 something” this week but you would never know it
Her gray curls bouncing and full
Her gapped, unperfect smile showing when she laughs unapologetically
Every morning without fail she has a “Goodmorning, Baby!” for me
The office is under construction, a project that’s been going on for 7 months and doesn’t seem to have an end date
So We’re all forced to work in the basement
A space that despite having six cubicles -Ms.Vicky used to have all to herself
Her office supplies taking up the drawers of two desks
The mystery novels that she never has the chance to read, in the cabinet of another
She says that she liked it more when she was alone, but I don’t believe her
Maybe a part of her wants to like the quiet, the calm
But if she wanted to be alone why would she always have a Tupperware full of candy on her desk
An offering that is only available when she’s present and with the expectation that if you take a piece you will spend some time gossiping in return
Food is one of Ms.Vicky’s ways of showing she cares
When I was feeling down she would pass me bags of trail mix
When I am working hard she offers me dark chocolate
She says she's always happy to come to work
She calls the staff her family
But she has a family, 2 sons, 9 grandkids and nearly as many great grandchildren
Something I can never imagine
I knew at 16 that I wasn’t going to have biological children yet I would never tell Ms.Vicky that
Although understanding I doubt she’d understand that choice
Ms. Vicky lights up when she talks about her babies
The happiest I’ve seen Ms.Vicky is when our coworker brought in her newborn baby,
The logical side of her saying “shes crazy bringing that baby in here with all these germs”
The emotional side of her saying “ did you se him? Isn’t he perfect?”
And I have to agree, I’ve never seen a more perfect baby in my life
Is it more important to continue your legacy through family or through actions?
And who cares about what your legacy is
Or who will impact your legacy
Ms.Vicky will be forever engrained in my memory
Ms.Vicky taught me how to be kind to everyone even if you don’t like them
How to find joy in life and choose happiness
To believe that everything will turn out
And maybe that is the point of a legacy, to have it live on in others.