2007 A Synthesis Essay (Advertising) Lessons Learned
Many individuals had a "safe" essay that answered the question (advertising is good because it increases revenue, educates the public, and helps society); however, the essays failed to discuss the complexity of the issue.
Complex essays discussed the false realities created by advertisements, the cycle of unsatisfaction, the presentation of stereotypes (women in cleaning, cooking, and care taking commercials), or the foundation of America philosophies with free trade and capitalism.
Many individuals used the quote by Nancy Day, "by paying for advertising space, companies fund most of what your read in magazines and books, what you hear on the radio, and what you watch on television." However, few people failed to recognize the flaws of this "free money" (bias, agenda, distortion).
Many individuals hinted on the flaws of advertising during their conclusion, Granted, advertisements may cause individuals to become self consious or desire nonessential items. However, advertisements are beneficial because they increase revenue, expose consumer's to new products, and educate the public. The essays had the potential to be more complex and critical, but they only hinted at these ideas in the conclusion.
Hints and Strategies-
Have a clear thesis. Do not "flip flop" or sit on the fence post. This is persuasive writing, and you must take a position. Use the Indeed, However approach to address the counterargument.
If you write an informative essay (discussing or summarizing the sources, issue), it will be scored as "off topic" (1-2). This must be persuasive writing; you must choose a side and support it with evidence.
Pay attention to sarcasm. When the sources said that advertisments tell us what we need and gave examples of blinding white teeth, water spots on drinking glasses, and fresh smelling toilets, they were mocking our consumerist society. Some individuals wrote entire paragraphs stating that advertisements improve our society by telling us what we need, and they cited these specific examples as "truth." These individuals lost points for misreading the sources.
Use appropriate diction. Colloquial (informal) phrases such as "caught dead," "kicked themselves," and "duh" will only cause you to lose major points.
Your essay should "build" as it progresses. Many people had their first paragraph as the longest, and the last paragraph was the shortest. Remember it should progress from strong, to stronger, to strongest.
Avoid sitting "on the fence post" in the conclusion. You can address the counterargument again by using Granted, Nevertheless; Certainly, To Contrast, etc. However, your entire essay (and your conclusion) should clearly take a position and persuade the reader through your logic, synthesis of sources, and elaboration of examples. Do not say things like, "Everyone is entitled to his or her opinion" or "Both sides are equally correct." Choose a position and DEFEND it!
Don't address the counterargument as if they are a person in your essay. Example: "My counterargument might say....The opposition says..." Address the counterargument briefly in the introduction and the conclusion. Do not address it throughout your essay. It sounds like you are a schizophrenic fighting yourself within your essay.
Use the sources as a spring board. If your thesis says that advertisement educates or benefits society, what other examples can you think of in addition to the Red Cross example that is provided (Go Green, Breast Cancer, Drink Milk, etc.)?
Use an appropriate tone and avoid over the top statements/stretches. Avoid phrases such as "these advertisements are really annoying" or "all advertisements must be banned." Find a better way to express your opinion.
You must synthesize the sources. If you only summarize and "regurgitate" what the sources said, you will not pass this essay. Do not merely "plop" the sources into your essay (adding a citation at the end of a sentence for the sake of adding a citation). This is a mini version of your research paper. You have a thesis with three main points. Back up your thesis with evidence from the sources. Each paragraph should be a blend of sources instead of simply an analysis of one source. Each paragraph should have a blend of quoted material from the sources. Use a mix and match of "According to Source F" and (Source B).
End each paragraph with your own thoughts; don't end with a citation from a source or a quotation.
Avoid fictional "What Ifs" that include Bob, Sammy, George, and Sally. Use the information provided in the sources.
Draw one single line through mistakes. Do not double write on the lines or write outside of the margins.
Handwriting!!!
Some individuals argued that advertisements are unethical because they present models using products, but the models do not use the products in real life. A stronger argument would be to discuss the impact of using models in advertising and the impact it has on consumers. Are models representative of the body type, race, economic status, etc. of the majority of Americans? If not, what message do they send to children? Young girls? Women? Minorities? etc.