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My husband spends money without telling me - What to do when your husband hides money from you.
Money is not always the root of evil, but research shows it is one of the leading causes of all divorces across the world. Even if you and your spouse agree that you need to manage your finances better, deciding how to actually manage the funds or who can or cannot spend money the way they best see fit usually leads to major problems.
Here a few wise suggestions to keep your marriage happy and manage your money at the same time.
Be Sure Each Partner has Some "Fun" Money
Majority of the time there is one partner that earns a higher salary than the other person in the relationship. It is not fair to expect each person to contribute an equal amount to the bills and then the partner with the higher salary spends the remaining money as his or her "fun" money. Fun money is money spent on unnecessary purchases such as entertainment, alcohol, gambling or shopping.
Failure to equally distribute "fun" money with your spouse leads to resentment and unhappiness from the partner that does not earn as much.
Both partners need some money to buy things that are enjoyable to them, of course without affecting the family budget.
Don't Forget To Set Aside Money For The Children
Whether it's for school supplies, clothes, an allowance, the movies or sports equipment, you must be sure to set aside money for your children. These expenses need to be included into the family spend plan. Forgetting to allocate funds for your children usually takes money directly out of you and your spouse's fun money.
Set A Spending Limit Together
Both people in the marriage or relationship should have a voice when spending cuts are being discussed. You and your spouse need to consider making sacrifices if you are going to set financial goals and have a successful future together.
This is especially true if your spouse is a stay at home mom or not employed. Do not disregard their opinion because they are not contributing to the family income.
Remember, you became one when you got married. Technically the money should be considered as "our" money and not as "my" money.
Write Out The Plan
Whatever spending decisions you and your spouse decide to finalize, be sure to write it down. Each person should get a copy of the plan to ensure you are on the same page. Writing it down also helps identify any weak areas in your plan, bills you may have missed, or other things you may not have noticed about your financials in the past.
Keeping a printout of your budget plan is a very simple thing to do, but you would be surprised how often this step is overlooked.
Conclusion
Do not let your marriage or relationship fail due to the inability to properly manage money as a couple. I understand it is not easy, but communicating and working together on your finances can work wonders for your marriage.
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As a marriage counsellor, I always advice my clients to treat each other with respect all the time, and not to take things out on them especially when it's not there fault. This is the key to an improved marriage and a better life for you and your partner.
There are still many factors to consider though to get an improved marriage, and a better life at home.
1) Stay intimate with your partner. Now most of my clients don't argue about this point for obvious reasons. As long as you are still attracted to your partner and still have strong feelings for them, show them how much you love them in a physical way.
2) Enjoy each others company. Dedicate one night a week, for you and your partner to enjoy. Go out for a nice meal, or go see a movie. Or if money is a problem, spend a night in and watch a dvd - make sure they're no distractions though, get a babysitter if you have children.
3) The small things, praise your partner for the little things they do. Compliment and praise each other at every chance you get. Be attentive to each others needs.
4) Stay in love, although this is easier said than done. This is essential. Take on new hobbies together with your spouse. New adventures and the sort is great. Also you could try making new friends together with your spouse. Go to music concerts, anything you can do together, do it!
5) Humour is very powerful, laughter is healing. Don't be scared to crack a joke between you and your partner. Doesn't sound like a way to improve your marriage, but speaking from experience I'd say this is very important. When me and my wife were having problems, we went to see Lee Evans a British comedian live, an that was the best time I've ever had with my wife.
Couples can love one another and yet find themselves drifting apart and headed for a divorce. There are steps you can take, with or without the aid of your spouse to get your marriage back into the loving place it once was.
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If you can see your future self in a happy marriage with loving family, then you should know the art of saving your marriage before it starts. Why, because you need this strong foundation to make your marriage work, and doing it after you get married will be too late. Below are the 5 tips to consider when you start a relationship if you are going towards marriage.
1. Get mature. Lots of teen marriages end up in divorce. Very young couples don't think deep and they only concern about the fun they are having right now. You need to be more mature to understand that life is complicated, let alone if you have to combine two people, therefore two thoughts, together.
2. Get to know your partner properly. Before you decide to tie the knot, you really should know what kind of person your partner is. Their characteristics, behaviors, habits, way of thinking, interest, and so on. See if yours match with theirs. That is the whole point of dating, to understand each other and to see if you two are compatible.
3. Avoid living together for extended period before marriage. People may think that living together before marriage will test if it is going to be okay later on. However, more couples end up separated not long after they get married regardless they have been living together for years. The reason seems to be the fact that they are so comfortable with their life together without the commitment, and when they decide to finally commit into the next level, they feel too much pressure and unable to handle it.
4. Learn about their fundamental beliefs. Different religious beliefs can often cause problems in a marriage. Also pay attention to the way your partner was raised. It is likely that they will apply what they have learnt in their childhood into their own marriage. If they are from an abusive family, they may be abusive themselves and think that it is normal. Be careful not to throw yourself into a toxic relationship.
5. Avoid having children together before marriage. Children can strengthen bonds between married couples, but children outside marriage tend to do the opposite. It is better that you focus on getting to know each other and move on to the next step once you are ready, rather than rushing into things. Saving your marriage before it starts can spare you a whole heap of problems and heartache in the future.
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Divorce does not have to be your only option. Even if it feels as though your marriage can't be saved because of the ongoing conflicts between you and your spouse, it can be. There are techniques that you can begin using today that will not only stop a divorce but will help also you build a stronger and more loving marriage - Learn More Here
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Further Reading:
My Husband Made Me So Angry I Hit Him
Lost Respect For Cheating Spouse
Can A Separation Save My Marriage
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