I pay all the bills in my marriage - Tired of financially supporting my husband.
There are one of three reasons why you are reading this article. You have a great marriage but your family finances are one big mess. You feel that if you don't get them in order quickly it will eventually strain your presently great relationship with your spouse. A second reason why you are reading this article is that your finances are in order but there is constant tension between you and your spouse. Or it might be both; your family finances are bad and your relationship with your spouse is bad.. Regardless of the category that you fall under you have to know that the way you handle your finances has a very strong effect on your marriage. In this article I hope to show you a few ways to go about discussing your financial finances with your spouse so as strengthen your marriage.
1. Discuss it as soon as possible. This seems obvious but many couples are so scared and terrified to discuss their family finances with each other that they either deny that there is a problem altogether or they ignore the problem and hope that things will work out by themselves. This is a huge mistake because things just don't work like that and if your finances are left untouched it will usually just get worse. You and your spouse won't change their spending patterns just like that, but you will have to make a conscience effort to change it. Therefore the problem has to be put on the table in order to solve it ASAP.
2. Set up a time to do it. You can discuss the weather, sports, or politics just in passing. Important matters, however, have to be spoken about purposely and intentionally. Ask your spouse when they will have time to talk about it without any distractions. Before the discussion think through and jot down what points you want to speak about and think through how you will be able to say in way that your spouse will not be insulted or hurt. It takes thought but it is certainly worth the time and effort.
3. Don't lie to your spouse or say half truths. No matter how frightened you are to talk to your spouse about the way that you spend money, whatever you do, don't lie. Firstly, if you lie you won't be able to fix up the problem. (imagine going to a doctor and to lie to him where it hurts). Secondly, when your spouse discovers that you lied they will lose trust in you for a long time to come. This can cause huge problems. Therefore, it's not worth it to lie. Suffer the short term embarrassment for the long term gain.
In short getting your family finances in order is vital to the stability of your marriage and to your relationship. Therefore it cannot be ignored and has to be spoken about. Consciously find a good time for the discussion, tell the whole truth to arrive at a good solution, and then sit back and enjoy being married.
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It's true that marriage is one of the best moments of your life, especially if you marry the person that you truly love. In reality however, marriage life is when you will be faced with so many problems, and one of these is the problem concerning money. If you are faced in this situation now with your spouse, read these tips to help you in dealing with financial crisis on your married life.
Be Frugal
When you decide to marry your partner, you must be willing to change your spending habits because being married is totally different with being single. Eventually, you will have kids and your needs and necessities will soon increase and therefore, you should not waste your money on things that are not necessary. If you are used to buying expensive things when you are single, you should change that habit now that you are married in order to avoid conflicts with your partner.
Look for Ways to Supplement Your Income
Now that you are married, expect that your expenses will increase since you are now on the process of building a family with your spouse. So if you feel like your income is not enough to supplement your daily expenses, it's time that you look for ways on how to supplement your income. If possible, aim for a higher position in your company, or perhaps, look for part time jobs or businesses that could help to augment your daily income.
Be Debt-free
As much as possible, pay all outstanding loans and debts before you decide to marry your partner. And when you are married, avoid applying for bank loans and other mortgages that have very high interest rates. This will just add up to your daily expenditures, and this can even lead to arguments with your spouse in the future.
Distribute Your Daily Expenses
If both of you are working, do not let your partner pay for all the bills and expenses. You must allocate your daily expenditures and decide which among these bills will be paid by you or your partner. Come up with a schedule of payment so that your spouse will be reminded of how much of his/her salary needs to go to this expenditure.
There are several other reasons why couples would often fight about financial matters on their married life. Aside from following the tips above, the most important thing to remember is to be honest with your partner at all times. You must also work hand in hand in resolving this crisis because marriage is a partnership and not just about you only.
Couples can love one another and yet find themselves drifting apart and headed for a divorce. There are steps you can take, with or without the aid of your spouse to get your marriage back into the loving place it once was.
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Love knows no bounds. It is the most eternal feeling enjoyed by a couple and can never be compared to anything else on this planet. The bonds which develop in a marriage are more than just the common physical and emotional bonds. It thus becomes more than just your responsibility to keep your spouse happy and comfortable. Being romantic is not rocket science. It is the mere art of showing the love and care you have in your heart for your special one. Read on to find a few simple yet effective tips to enjoy a happy married life.
1.The first thing in a relationship should be good communication. Speak your heart out in front of your spouse. Do not throw your weight around but feel free to express your desires and feelings. Compromising never lets any relationship last long.
2.Not listening to your partner often leads to lack of communication too. It is hence very essential that you listen attentively. Communication never works when it is one sided. You'll need it to be open both ways to avoid any differences in your married life.
3.Though you should not compromise all the time at times it becomes really essential that you compromise a few of your desires to make the marriage last. A good sex life is one of the essential keys to a lasting marriage. Make sure you respect each other's fantasies and try to fulfill them. It is very essential that you do not force about anything. Just make sure that you keep your partner as satisfied as is possible.
4.The fast life of our times gives way to very busy schedules. It becomes almost impossible to find special time for your spouse amidst the other social obligations. It is however very essential that you take out time for your spouse. If required plan it in advance but do spend some quality time with your loved one.
5.Taking out some time for a vacation is also a very good idea to strengthen your relationship. Get away from the rush of the day to day life. Spend some quality time with your spouse. Talk to them. Speak your heart out. Listen to what they have to say. Such time is sure to give you rewarding results. However if nothing seems to work do not hesitate to seek professional advice on your marriage.
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Divorce does not have to be your only option. Even if it feels as though your marriage can't be saved because of the ongoing conflicts between you and your spouse, it can be. There are techniques that you can begin using today that will not only stop a divorce but will help also you build a stronger and more loving marriage - Learn More Here
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Further Reading:
I’m The Only One Fighting For My Marriage
Husband and Wife Not Talking To Each Other
My Husband Is Always In A Bad Mood With Me
I Can't Stop Crying About My Divorce