My husband is always in a bad mood with me - How to deal with a moody husband.
Many people think that mood swings are a woman's problem, it has to do with those female hormones that make them all moody and impossible to understand. Truth is, men are not less vulnerable when it comes to mood swings, and most of these issues have little or nothing to do with hormones.
Let's consider this scenario. Mary is waiting for Joe to come home from work. She makes special dinner for him, setting the table and the room in such romantic way because she knows he will love it. Then Joe comes home after a hectic day, totally spent, glances at the table and says, "I'm not that hungry now, I'll eat later" and goes straight to the room. There stands Mary, having her bubbly, loving, romantic mood crushed and ready to snap. She follows Joe to the room and starts her speech beginning with "You never appreciate what I do for you!" The rest of the story seems quite obvious. You know what would happen to couples if this kind of scenarios keep repeating themselves, right?
What's the problem here? Is Joe no longer interested in Mary's fine cooking? Does Mary really think that Joe never appreciate a single thing she does? There are some chain reactions going in here. Joe was having a bad day at work that ruined his mood. It has nothing to do with Mary. He is simply not in the mood for romantic dinner. His mood then causes Mary's mood to be ruined, and because Mary doesn't know how to handle it, she started the unnecessary fight with Joe. The fight has nothing to do with the original problem. Given different mood condition, Joe would love the dinner and Mary would feel appreciated.
So here are a few tips to remember when you are dealing with a moody partner:
1. Understand that when they are not in the right mood, they are most likely not being themselves. Don't take what they say literally.
2. Find out what causes the mood swings. Both men and women change their mood, and tend to be annoying when they are either not feeling well or busy. They can also be frustrated about something, being under pressure or confused. Other common causes that are not so obvious are insecurity and lack of confidence. People gets moody when they feel bad about themselves. Women tend to get moody before their menstrual period.
3. Stay away from your moody partner. Yes you heard me right. Lots of people suggest that you should approach them and offer them consolation but if you do it in the heat of the moment, you will only get a disaster. They need some space to cool themselves down. After that you can talk to them and get them to open up to you so you can help them solve their problems.
4. This is the hard one but worth doing. Don't let your own mood be affected by theirs. If you follow them in the bad mood, you may end up quarrel with them. But seeing your good mood may often bring them back from their self destructive mood.
5. When your partner is in a good mood, talk to them about how their mood swings affect you. You two may come up with a method to deal with it as it comes. Remember that relationship is about give and take. You need to adjust with one another to make living together possible and enjoyable.
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Most women don't believe that they can ever be wrong in the relationship department and love to blame the ending of a marriage on the man. However, in 52% of the cases of divorce, the woman is to blame. Women are extremely proud and therefore accepting that they are wrong isn't something they do easily but if you are a woman and your relationship is on tenterhooks, you need to stand back and evaluate the reasons for your problems and how big your role is in creating those problems. If you can honestly say that you haven't done anything wrong, then ignore this advice but if you might have even contributed to 1% of the problems, then listen up!
First and most important try to release control and stop criticizing and nagging your husband. All the energy you pour into nagging and begging usually goes to waste because, believe it or not, it actually drives your husband further away from you. Desperation definitely isn't a very becoming quality for a woman and it often repels men, including your husband. Instead, listen to your husband and empathize if you can and respect his decisions.
Always be strong and project that strength outward so your husband knows that you still believe in your marriage. If you are strong and if you believe in your relationship, it automatically increases the chances that you and your husband will be able to work things out. No matter how grim the situation may be, you cannot give up hope because marriage is a sacred institution and yet, one that is often treated with very little respect.
One of the best ways to avoid conflict is to talk without it turning into a screaming contest between you and your husband. Most women are emotional so arguments are usually accompanied by tears and screaming but the next time an argument arises, try to handle it a little differently. Instead of becoming overly emotional, try to talk things out rationally and respect and listen to his point of view as well.
Marriage is an institution that has existed since man became civilized and taking it as lightly as we do today is both unhealthy and unnecessary. If you, as a woman, can't see your own flaws, how can you expect your marriage to work? So, the first step is to accept - accept you may be wrong.
Couples can love one another and yet find themselves drifting apart and headed for a divorce. There are steps you can take, with or without the aid of your spouse to get your marriage back into the loving place it once was.
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One of the most common requests to marriage counselors and psychologists today is "Help save my marriage." With divorce rates for first marriages at an all time high and the divorce rate for second marriages above the 70th percentile, it is no wonder that so may people are trying to figure out what is wrong with their marriages. It is also no wonder that so many psychologists today are trying to help save marriage.
Alcoholism, drug addiction, pornography addiction, and physical abuse mean that the marriage couple needs serious therapy and rehabilitation work. Whether one person has the problem or it is shared by both parties, the couple will need therapy. No matter how serious the couple is, they can not help save marriage by themselves. These problems are too serious to be dealt with by the couple alone.
There are many marriages however, where the application of 'The Golden Rule' could seriously improve the relationship. If you are thinking about what you need to do to help save my marriage, you may want to try this exercise which has helped many couples already. Do you remember 'The Golden Rule' from when you were a child? Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.
We all want to be treated properly and your spouse is no different. Use this as a guiding principle when talking to your partner. Make sure you speak softly and calmly. Be pleasant to them even in simple things like greeting them nicely when they get home from work. Don't nag for things to get done - you can ask nicely and then maybe do it yourself. Remember that you're working on and saving your marriage and a little annoyance is a small price to pay.
When you married this person, you loved them with your whole heart, right? In truth, you still do. Unfortunately, all of the garbage of life has blown through and covered that up. The mess can be 'cleaned up'. You have the answer to the question, "How can I help save my marriage?" Love means putting the other person's feelings ahead of your own, and in time they will do the same.
Finally, don't say that you've already done everything that we have described in this article. There can be a lot of accumulated guilt and pain in a marriage, and that won't go away in an instant. You need to decide that you want to save you marriage, and then recognize that there is a lot of hard work ahead to fix the damage caused by a year's fighting. Working together with your spouse, you can say, "I did help save my marriage."
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Divorce does not have to be your only option. Even if it feels as though your marriage can't be saved because of the ongoing conflicts between you and your spouse, it can be. There are techniques that you can begin using today that will not only stop a divorce but will help also you build a stronger and more loving marriage - Learn More Here
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Further Reading:
I’m The Only One Fighting For My Marriage
Husband and Wife Not Talking To Each Other
I Pay All The Bills In My Marriage
How To Change My Husband Towards Me