I’m the only one fighting for my marriage - When is it time to stop fighting for your marriage.
A few decades ago, divorce was a concept both unknown and unheard of. The vows of marriage were not only holy and sacred but irreversible too. Couples spent entire life time with each other to keep what they had promised to each other when they got married. However that isn't the case anymore. People are unable to cope up with the pressures of marriage and giving up on their relationships and divorce is an option for all of them.
Not many people think of how to save their marriage, but go in for what is easier, that is divorce.
But if you are really serious about saving your marriage there are things people try to do to save their marriage from running into divorce. Alliance should under no circumstance be broken. Marriage isn't always necessarily based on love. People marry for needs of society and family but not for why they should, for love.
And most people are often infatuated and hence they marry and when love wears out soon enough.
But there are ways of making peace between partners. You have to compromise sacrifice negotiate and perhaps that will just work wonders. A marriage should never be based on wrong reasons it should be love and nothing else at all. Marriage is a very big commitment, being unsure will be the worst thing to do.
To work out a marriage, the very first step should be that never give up no matter how bad the situation is or how impossible is your partner. You know to make any relationship work someone has to be the supporting element be that. Be calm even when your partner is fighting. Be rational. Don't lose it tell yourself you don't want to lose someone you love, it will keep you calmer there has to certain amount of compromising to be done on both sides.
Marriage counselling is just picking up by the day because most couples are on the brink of divorce. Along with all the outside pressure and stress people cannot deal with problems in a relationship. It is developing into a business to help couples work their differences out. To save a marriage also means you are protecting a child from problems of a broken home and children who grow up in broken homes have a big socialization problem.
They are scared timid insecure or sometimes the vice versa they are aggressive. It is very important to have a stable marriage if you want your kids to grow up fine. Marriage comes with its warmth and stability and it so not worth letting it go or losing it people should be sensible enough to sort out their differences and work it out no matter what. But obviously if you have an abusive partner or you are terribly unhappy no one would want you to continue being oppressed.
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I sometimes hear from people who have the strong sense that their marriage is potentially in trouble. They can not help but notice that something has changed. Their spouse may be distant or not affectionate. It might seem as if there is nothing to really talk about anymore. There can be awkward silences or distant encounters. Many people mourn these losses because this is not what most of us envisioned on the day that we got married. So, it will be the inclination of many people to try and fix the marriage before it's too late.
Sometimes, though, it becomes pretty clear that although you are willing to try most anything to save or to fix your marriage, your spouse isn't as enthusiastic. This leaves you wondering if it's possible to make any positive changes when you are the only one who is trying or if you are just wasting your time.
Someone might say, "our marriage has been slowly deteriorating for the last two and a half years. My husband and I don't really fight, but we sort of act like strangers at this point. There's just a distance and a coldness. We hang out with our friends more than each other. We aren't really aware of what is happening in each other's lives anymore. It is like we are roommates. Since my husband is starting to spend less and less time at home, I fear that he's going to give me the 'I need space' speech or to ask for a separation. So I decided that I need to make some changes to try to fix things. I started asking friends about what they would do, plus I did a little research and talked to people whose opinions I respect. I found out that if I invested more time in my marriage, then this would be a good first step. I was advised to make a point of asking my husband about his daily experiences and feelings. I was advised to devote more time to my marriage. So I have been trying to do these things, but my husband doesn't respond very well. He will just sort of give me vague answers or look at me like I'm weird to want to interact with him. I finally admitted that I was just trying to make things better with our marriage. His response to me was that people who have good marriages do not have to 'try.' So he does not seem at all interested in 'trying' when it comes to improving or ultimately saving our marriage. I guess I question if I'm wasting my time. I'm willing to try just about anything, but if my husband is not going to do anything, is it all for nothing? Can I still make it work?"
It's really hard to predict the future in this way, but I can tell you my experience. My husband and I did separate because our marriage had gotten to the point where he was no longer happy. At first, he seemed completely unwilling to work with me. He just wanted space. He did not want to work or to make any changes no matter what I did or said to try to convince him otherwise. It eventually dawned on me that the only thing that I was going to be able to control was myself. Because we were separated, I did not have unlimited access to him. But I had unlimited access to myself. So that is where I placed most of my focus. I took a hard look at how I might have been contributing to the degradation of my marriage and I tried to address those issues. I wanted to be as healthy as I could possibly be if we ever reconciled. During the times when my husband and I did spend time together, I would just focus on making sure things went well and felt as comfortable as possible between us. I figured there would be plenty of time to work on the difficult things later. I realized that my husband's reluctance meant that the whole situation was fragile, so I really only asked anything of myself initially.
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Divorce does not have to be your only option. Even if it feels as though your marriage can't be saved because of the ongoing conflicts between you and your spouse, it can be. There are techniques that you can begin using today that will not only stop a divorce but will help also you build a stronger and more loving marriage - Learn More Here
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Further Reading:
Husband and Wife Not Talking To Each Other
My Husband Is Always In A Bad Mood With Me
I Pay All The Bills In My Marriage
My Job Is Affecting My Marriage