Break in Case of Emergency

“Break in case of emergency...” Dan muttered under his breath before turning to look at his companion. “You think this qualifies?”

“Zombies are pounding at the door, my lab partner just rose up, and he is now calling for my brain!” Ali shouted from over were he was wedging ever more chairs against the lab’s doors. "If it doesn't... fuck!"

Dan sighed, and looked back at the ominous red box bolted to the wall. “Well, hopefully, zombie outbreak is covered under emergencies...”

Glass shattered, and the hungry moans of the undead droned even louder. “Hurry hurry hurry!” Ali scurried back from the door, as several arms reached through the shattered windows.

“Didn’t those doors have bulletproof glass?” Dan asked, nervously.

Ali cast a worried glance back, “And magic proof, and firepoof... yeah, yeah, basically everything...”

“Well, here goes nothing...” Dan said, and placed his hand on the glass. He didn’t even have to utter an invocation or passcode or anything. The front of the box shattered like a brittle pane of glass, and behind it sat...

“The Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch?” Dan asked incredulously.

“What?”

Dan hefted up the bejewelled orb. “It’s the Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch. From Monty Python and the Holy Grail.” Ali’s face still showed confusion. “British sketch comedy? Classic movie? Have you never played a game of Dungeons and Dragons in your life, Ali?”

“Is this really important now?” Ali asked, looking back over his shoulder as the zombies tossed the chairs to the side.

“Eh, not really...” Dan shrugged, and stepped forward, pulling the pin. “One. Two. Five.”

“Umm... three?”

“I know what I’m doing,” Dan smirked, and tossed the grenade forward, where it exploded in golden fire. The flame washed over Dan, Ali, and the undead... leaving the two living humans untouched, and the zombies smouldering piles of ash.

“Hunh, what did you know?” Dan grinned over his shoulder at Ali. “Zombie outbreaks were covered under emergencies.”

“... so that container contained a grenade from a movie from you past that just so happened to be perfect for saving our lives right here today?”

“Yep.”

“How... how long has that box been there?”

“I’ve been working at this lab for at least a decade,” Dan shrugged.

Ali groaned, and banged his head against the wall. “Fuck the Pyramidion.”

At that moment, a tile was knocked loose from the ceiling and hit Ali square on the head. He stumbled forward a bit, rubbing his head, and then stopped square in his tracks.

The tile before him had written on it “Love you too, Agent Hussein.” Alongside a triangle with an eye and a big grin.

Ali sighed. Not for the first time, he seriously regretted signing up for the Illuminati.