FAMOUS WORDS

Some famous words:

As I hurtled through space, one thought kept crossing my mind - every part of this rocket was supplied by the lowest bidder .

John Glenn

When the white missionaries came to Africa they had the Bible and we had the land . They said 'Let us pray . ' We closed our eyes . When we opened them we had the Bible and they had the land .

Desmond Tutu

America is the only country where a significant proportion of the population believes that professional wrestling is real but the moon Landing was faked .

David Letterman

After the game, the King and the pawn go into the same box .

Italian proverb

Men are like linoleum floors . Lay'em right and you can walk all over them for thirty years .

Betsy Salkind

The only reason they say 'Women and children first' is to test the strength of the lifeboats .

Jean Kerr

I've been married to a communist and a fascist, and neither would take out the garbage .

Zsa Zsa Gabor

You know you're a redneck if your home has wheels and your car doesn't .

Jeff Foxworthy

When a man opens a car door for his wife, it's either a new car Or a new wife .

Prince Philip

A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kickboxing .

Emo Philips

Wood burns faster when you have to cut and chop it yourself .

Harrison Ford

The best cure for seasickness, is to sit under a tree .

Spike Milligan

Lawyers believe a man is innocent until proven broke .

Robin Hall

Kill one man and you're a murderer, kill a million and you're a conqueror .

Jean Rostand

Having more money doesn't make you happier . I have 50 million dollars but I'm just as happy as when I had 48 million .

Arnold Schwarzenegger

We are here on earth to do good unto others . What the others are here for, I have no idea .

WH Auden

In hotel rooms I worry . I can't be the only guy who sits on the furniture naked .

Jonathan Katz

If life were fair Elvis would still be alive today and all the impersonators would be dead .

Johnny Carson

I don't believe in astrology . I am a Sagittarius and we're very sceptical .

Arthur C Clarke

Hollywood must be the only place on earth where you can be fired by a man wearing a Hawaiian shirt and a baseball cap .

Steve Martin

Home cooking . Where many a man thinks his wife is .

Jimmy Durante

America is so advanced that even the chairs are electric .

Doug Hamwell

The first piece of luggage on the carousel never belongs to anyone .

George Roberts

If God had intended us to fly he would have made it easier to get to the airport

Jonathan Winters

I have kleptomania, but when it gets bad, I take something for it .

Robert Benchley