SOME SILLY QUESTIONS

The meeting in June of 1996 started with Mrs T explaining that the Inspector of Taxes felt the house I was living in was beyond my earnings and that she felt I had understated my income and she had estimated I owed tax of £1.6K if I was willing to write a cheque for that amount the investigation would end here, but if not she could go back six years.. Knowing that I had declared my full income to my accountant for the accounts to be drawn up I stated I would pay a further £1k if she could find any money that I had not declared. Mrs T started with some questions, below is a transcript of the meeting that I did record for my own records.

Questions Mrs J Txxxxxxx : HM Inspector of Taxes

Answers Frank Cooke: Taxpayer

Q: Mr Cooke I would like you to answer a few questions if you don't mind regarding your submitted accounts.

A: No problem but the questions are regarding my accounts of three years ago, but I will do my best.

Q: What daily paper do you have?

A: Then and now None.

Q: So you don't have the Sun Newspaper?

A: Not believing what she had just said, my reply: I don't think that deserves an answer!

Q: How much money do you spend in the cafe?

A: None, I don't go into cafes unless called to do a job of work. I don't eat during the day unless needed.

Q: So you don't go to the cafe with all the other plumbers in the area for a chat and breakfast?

A: No and if you can prove this untrue I will pay £1,000 in to your chosen charity.

Q: How much do you spend on sweets for your daughter?

A: None mostly apples and carrots with some sweets bought with our weekly shopping. Definitely not a daily occurrence.

Q: How much do you spend on cups of tea during the working day?

A: None, customers don't charge but usually I ask for coffee no sugar.

Q: Did you go on holiday this year 1993?

A: No we did not, no work no holiday it's that easy. We did get away for a few days to Cornwall

Q: What Sunday paper do you have?

A: Sunday Times if I walk up the shops, which costs £0.70.

Q: Does your daughter have any comics?

A: No not at the moment.

Q: Do you give your daughter pocket money?

A: No not at the moment

Q: What clubs do you belong to?

A: Diving club @ £30.00 per year plus costs

Q: How did you pay?

A: By cheque.

Q: Do you have any other expenses re your diving?

A: Yes all paid via cheque or switch.

Q: Do you offer your customers a discount?

A: No not if I can help it, Jewish blood you see.

Q: Does your daughter belong to any clubs?

A: Yes Dancing, Swimming lessons, music lessons.

Q: How was this paid and how much?

A: By cheque, please check yourself.

Q: How do you pay for your weekly shopping?

A: By Switch or cheque.

Q: So you never pay cash for your shopping?

A: Not as far as I know, you better ask my wife, Maggie's reply "only for the small things occasionally"

Q: How much did you spend at Christmas?

A: I haven't got a clue, but we spread it over about 4 months so it's mixed in with the weekly shopping.

Q: Do you have any pets and what costs for food and vets bills?

A: Vets bills hardly anything, we have been lucky, check with the vet no problem, pet food is purchased with the weekly shopping, which is paid via cheque or switch.

Q; Do you use your van for picking the shopping up?

A: No my wife uses the car.

Q: What would you estimate the car is used mostly for?

A: Mostly shopping, holidays, it sits in the drive most days check it out if you like. And before you ask under 5,000 miles per year check my insurance.

Q; Your home telephone I notice you only have one phone how much would you say is private?

A: About 25% give or take. Which my accountant advised me on.

Q: I notice you claim for a mobile phone, do you use this for private use?

A; Very rarely as the call charges are very high, I only use it to phone customers or the help lines, which are free. But mostly it’s used for incoming calls.

Q: Do you use your van for any private use, to go shopping?

A; NO I thought you have already asked that one.

Q: Do you use it in the evening?

A: Yes to go to Hatfield IoP meetings and committee meetings, plus other plumbing related travel.

Q: So how do you get to the dive meetings?

A: If it’s the weekly club meetings I use my van sometimes if on call, but if going away diving I use the car, in which we all share the cost. Plus if I tow the boat I don't pay a penny in petrol so it's a free weekend just paying for my air @ £1.00 per fill.

Q: So what would you deem to be private mileage for your van?

A: None, I think you will find, as I am a 24Hr emergency call plumber I need the van with me while on call. Plus they are like I said plumbing related or training events.

Q: Ok I want you to keep a log of all usage of your van?

A: Is this a legal request or is it a request from you.

Q: I would like you to keep a log of usage of your van?

A: If it is not laid down I have too, I will not make more work than is necessary. And will require it in writing from your manager if you want me to keep a log.

Q: Do many customers pay you in cash?

A: Only about 1% I always ask for a cheque if possible. Please do check with my customers if you like.

Q: Did you make any large purchases in that year for your house?

A: Yes we purchased a three piece suite for £1,500 it was ex showroom from Omega in Stevenage, normal price £2,500

Q: Where did you draw this money?

A: The inland revenue gave us a refund of £1,500 so we put it to good use, only problem they wanted it back some two months later as it was paid in error, but as we did check before spending it your nice District Inspector agreed we had done all we could to check. So he wrote it off, I understand we should have only got £15.00 refund. Nice man.

Q: How much do you spend on haircuts?

A: Not a lot my sister sometimes cuts it, or I use a razor comb then every so often I have it cut down town. But in the year we are talking about, mostly the razor combed.

Q: Does your sister do private work cutting hair?

A: Yes as a hairdresser stylist.

Q: Does she do a lot of private work?

A: Yes, (I could see where she was going with this one and I had a real good answer)

Q: How much does she charge, do you know?

A: About £8.50 to £15.00 plus any tips which can be a much as £5.00 per customer.

Q: Where does your sister live?

A: France (I could hear her brain go D'oH)

Q: Do you smoke?

A: No

Q: Do you go to the pub during the day or in the evening?

A: Not really, very occasionally on special occasions, birthdays etc, but never in the day unless called to do a job of work.

Q: Where do you buy your drinks (alcohol)?

A: France mostly or with our weekly shopping wines mostly.

Q: How many times did you go to France?

A: About 2 or 3 times a year when the offers are on for £5 or £10 per car in the Newspaper.

Q: I thought you said you did not buy newspapers?

A: We don't only if it has a good offer for France, then we may even buy the Sun Newspaper.

Q: How do you pay for your shopping in France?

A: Credit card or Switch.

Q: Do you place any bets, do you gamble, and have you won any money?

A: No, never have I wasted a penny in those places. You may of seen my van outside one when doing a job of work.

I then ended this interview as she had told me in her letter that it would only be 30 minutes and she had taken just short of one and a half hours. The next meeting was at Hitchin tax office, which took three hours.

This information is © Frank Cooke 2002 and cannot be used without my express permission.

I hope this does not come over as me being a cocky person as normally I'm quite nice, must of been my upbringing with "never let the buggers get you down attitude" plus I did not like her manner and her first statement regarding my house. I have worked bloody hard without any kick starts from parents. Mrs T had persuaded three other plumbers in the area to pay-up the £1.6K I had nothing to hide so why pay.