CW: Dissociation
Watching rain fall from the grey sky has always offered some sense of peace. A fuzzy and floating sensation settles into their heart.
Now, however, the floaty sensation envelopes their awareness, robbing them of clarity. The cold that usually sets their awareness to their body simply anchors them to stillness. A tired feeling rises in the back of their throat, setting their mind to rest while awake. The soft drizzling outside focuses their hearing, not on the life around them, but on the static moment.
They aren’t heavily under yet. Awareness floats just under the buzz of electronics and the colours of the street. They could blink back into the moment, but they don’t want to.
They do anyway. They become aware of the way their mouth is dry and their lips are chapped. They hear the barrage of rain against the glass. They feel the cushion fabric on their skin. The world is something they see.
They are unfortunately aware now. The soft television screen they were looking through no longer exists and now they exist instead. It’s no longer like looking through the filter of their own thoughts, but rather the world is something concrete that their senses tell them is real.
The soft fabric of their sweater is no longer a warm feeling of coming home but rather a warm sensation on their skin. Their hair is no longer a feeling of security and heaviness, it is simply being pulled by gravity to rest on their head and shoulders.
They sigh, and continue on.