This body has never been mine,
It has never listened to me,
Constantly going against me,
It doesn’t trust,
And for good reason.
Like everyone around me,
I too hate the choices that i am making,
The ones that leave me unable to breathe,
Aching in my chair,
Trapped in my own body.
Pain is not temporary,
It can’t be erased with a pill,
Unless i want to make more bad choices,
I could choose to go down that road,
I could choose to be pain free,
At a cost.
[PEFOUIY©® ≥DTV978COXBILJKZ :AQW 1Qƒ†
This body isn’t mine and it shows,
in the way my eyes don’t quite focus right as they move around the room,
In the way i stumble down the hallway without meaning to,
In the way i can’t walk straight,
In the way i have to be careful getting up in the morning,
Because i’ll end up in the bathroom as intended,
But i might end up with my back to the door,
Trembling on the floor.
It’s in the way my bones feel heavy,
And i can’t walk straight.
My eyes don’t work without my glasses,
And neither do i without my energy drinks.
My handle tremble as i press keys or write words,
No matter my needs i always hurt.
When my hands will always shake,
And my stomach will churn,
What’s the point in taking care of myself?
If energy drinks make my stomach churn and my hands shake,
What’s the point in trying not to hurt?
(long rant about my life complete with keysmashes and tears)