It’s anger, short and sweet. It’s bitterness, like falling into warm arms and hating every minute of it. The punch to the wall hurts, but it doesn’t hurt as much as the shards of glass in his heart.

There’s blood on the wall, on the ground, in his hair. It’s a bright cherry red, brighter than any of the thoughts circling his mind. There are shards of glass on the ground, he’s tracked bloody footprints all over the floor. Part of him wishes that everybody could see him like this now. Let them be horrified, guilty. It’s their fault.

But he doesn’t want anyone to see this. This is his weakness, and his alone. Nobody needs to be close enough to see this, he doesn’t need anybody, it’s all their fault anyway.

If anybody cared enough to just see, he wouldn’t be here. If anyone ever cared about anything other than themselves he wouldn’t be sitting here picking wood out of his arm. He wouldn’t have to search the house looking for the bandages that should be in this drawer but aren’t.

And that pisses him off too. They always go in this one drawer but they aren’t here. His life is falling apart but that doesn’t mean everything else has to. It’s not that hard to keep the bandages in their place. To fail at something as simple as that you’d have to be brain dead and useless to the highest degree. Absolutely worthless and horrible. Despicable and unworthy of life.

Oh. They’re in his med kit. Lith must have moved them.

It’s a logical choice. It’s stupid to have kept them in the drawer instead of with the rest of the med kit. They’re so smart and he doesn’t know how he ended up with them.

There’s blood everywhere by the time he ends up actually wrapping his arm. He’s calmer too. He’s still angry, he doesn’t think he can exist without the overwhelming rage lurking in the back of his brain, but he’s calmer. He’s no longer cursing out everyone he knows anymore, at least.

Now that he’s no longer blinded by the anger, he can finally call Lith like they told him to do when he gets like that. They’ll understand why he didn’t call earlier. They’re considerate like that, absolutely perfect like that.

He may call them names and jokingly hate them but they both know it’s not true. He loves them so much. So he presses dial and prepares to be cheered up.