A true drinking buddy

February is almost ending and I have no recollection of January. 9 to 5 shifts, a demanding boss, and boring colleagues are all I have since the day I started working for this company. My only joy has been to drink and sleep, all alone. For a change —not so much a change— I decided to go out for a drink. Mind you, this would be alone as well; I had no motivation to meet someone new.

Wanting something different, I chose a pub I don’t usually: Sally’s place, a few blocks away. As a man unhappy with his life, searching for happiness down the bottom of bottles, I ordered a myself a cheap scotch. Just as I was about to take my first sip of the night, I was saluted by a stranger sitting across the bar. He was alone, perched on a stool just like me, on a Wednesday at 6 pm. It took me a second to make sense of this gesture. Then I realised: it was one of those stupid state sponsored robots designed to companion the loners and the losers of the city, which had a bunch.

I’d been hearing about these robots from the people at the office, not until today I had an encounter with any of them. From what I heard, they roam the streets of Rotterdam, sit and drink at empty pubs, in an attempt to spot the losers like I and talk us out of our misery.

As we took our sips simultaneously I knew what was to happen. After I put my glass back down, it walked toward me, clearly intending to sit and ruin my night. It asked to join me for a drink; I didn’t respond. I’d had enough fake socialisation at work today, and I thought conversing with a pity robot was the last thing I needed. Nevertheless, it sat down and asked:

“Tough day?”

I responded aggressively, “Mind your own business, alright? I’m just trying to get some peace of mind here” —words I would regret later. It didn’t seem to be bothered by my response; I wasn’t sure if it was too stupid to understand me or just programmed to ignore my hostility. It replied:

“Sometimes all we want is a peace of mind. Let’s have this one drink together, and you can tell me about what’s been bothering you. I’ll leave if you don’t enjoy my companionship.”

On a second thought, I needed someone to vent to. That one drink turned into two, and later more. I felt the sense that it was actually listening to me, unlike those selfish people at work who only think about themselves. This stupid robot was able to give me a sense of comfort, I ended up pouring my heart out. Although I hate to admit, my encounter with this machine was the closest I have felt with a “human” in this lonely, depressed city.