The Importance of Friendship

Learning Objectives:

• Students will understand that friendships have problems that can be worked on.
• Students will develop skills to deal with issues that involve their friends.

Background: Gang activity, whether it is associating with gang members, acting like them, or becoming one, can have a very profound, and overwhelmingly negative impact upon the families and the close friends of individuals who are involved with gangs. Many young people who are involved in gang activity fail to fully realize this, and consequently act like they are the only ones who can get hurt by their gang involvement. Contrary to this, the opposite is true. When a person is involved in gang activity the whole family could be effected. Just one family member’s involvement in gang activity could hurt the entire family, and puts the family in jeopardy.

When a young person becomes involved in gang activity their family and friends can expect to experience:

• Fear for their own safety and the safety of their family and neighborhood.
• Damage to personal property.
• Trauma, grief, confusion and/or depression over the injury or loss of a loved one due to gang violence.
• Possible injury, or even death.

Gangs often exploit youth that have trouble forming relationships. It is important that youth understand how to build positive relationships instead of being lured into negative ones. The following lesson can be found in Beth Teolis’s book, Ready to use self-esteem and conflict-solving activities for grades 4-8. The lesson shows the importance of letting your friends know they are important to you by handling difficult situations positively.

Teaching Notes:

• Lead a discussion with the class around the importance of friends. Gangs like to try to get people who are having problems with their friends to join their gang. If you are fighting with your friends, it may be hard to resist the offer to join.
• Use the Between Friends worksheet and choose an activity from the list below that best suits your classroom needs.
  • Fill the frame with photos or drawings of friends, including yourself, doing things together o Write a poem about friendship dedicated to a special friend
  • Compose a letter written to a chosen friend, recalling special times shared together **Musical link – “Between Friends” by Richard Samuels
• Write solutions to the How Would You Handle “Between Friends” Scenarios bellow or form pairs of students, each of which will rehearse and perform a role-play from the scenarios. Students should be given the option of creating their own real-life situations, which should be written up in the format of the other situations for this activity and accepted by you before they rehearse and role-play.

How Would You Handle “Between Friends” Scenarios?

1. Your friend shows up twenty minutes late to meet you to play ball. The week before, this same friend arrived late, causing you both to miss the movie you’d planned to see. You have to be home and now only have ten minutes left to play. How would you handle this situation?
2. You and your friend have been renting videos together every Friday afternoon for three weeks. The other two trips to the video store, your friend excitedly chose the video, saying you’d love it too. You split the cost of the video both times. On the third trip, you decide to choose the video you want. Instead, before you know it, you are going to the counter with your friends’ choice again! How would you handle this situation?
3. Your friend has been in a bad mood a lot lately and you appear to be the target! But, you can’t think of anything you have done to upset the friend. You’ve really tried to overlook the moods and negative reactions to anything you suggest doing together. How would you handle this situation?
4. You confided a family secret to your friend one day when you were feeling upset about your situation at home. Your single mom had just lost her job, but you didn’t want anyone else to know all the details about it. When you arrive at school the next day, it turns out that several kids know all about it! How would you handle this situation?
5. Your best friend and a “sort-of” friend of yours have both gone to the mall together Saturday afternoon. You were NOT asked to go. Every other Saturday you and your best friend have hung out together. You spend all day all alone because you didn’t make other plans. How would you handle this situation?
6. Extra! You loaned your friend money - $2.50- several weeks ago (three weeks and four days ago, but who’s counting??). The money has not been paid back or even mentioned since then. You don’t know whether to bring it up or not. You tell yourself it isn’t a large amount of money Elementary Health Education and the Prevention of Gang Involvement…Gang Awareness Activities- Grade 4 8 and this is a very good friend. Then why do you keep thinking about it? How would you handle this situation?

• As a class, discuss the proper way to handle each situation and what may happen if they do not handle the situation properly. You may want to brainstorm as a class or individually. Handling situations in a positive way will help youth keep their friends and promote healthy problem solving skills.
• Have students write a journal entry that discusses why it is important work out issues with their friends. How do gangs take advantage of them when they aren’t communicating well with their friends. Students may want to write a poem or tell a story in their journal entry.