storyaboutrichardodellclark
Story About Richard Odell Clark
11807 Timbermill Lane
Fredericksburg, VA 22407-8560
24 September 2001
Dear Richard,
I wanted you to be among the first to hear about and to benefit from my new academic venture. You see I’ve founded a new academic institution. I’m certain that it will be a huge success because I grant very liberal credit for prior knowledge and experience. So you can readily see that with the vast amount of knowledge you have already acquired (due to your considerable age) it was not necessary in your case to complete any coursework. The diploma for your doctorate is enclosed.
You would have received your diploma before now had not one slight irregularity been noticed in your past. Due to my own very substantial astuteness, I was able to infer some things about you from high school days. It is quite obvious that you had some difficulty in Mrs. Odell’s English class to the point (we may again infer) that you would not have been able to complete your high school requirements and graduate except for a very shrewd scheme you were able to devise. It seems very clear that you changed your name and adopted Mrs. Odell’s name as a desperate means of obtaining her approval and getting credit for the senior English course and thereby graduating. Additionally, it seems obvious that your practice of writing your name only as Richard O. Clark (except for Mrs. Odell) was a means of concealing the deed from the rest of us. It certainly worked until now.
However, after discussing this at the Institute’s board of governors, it was determined that the ingenuity and originality of your plan along with its skillful execution more than compensated for any nefarious acts. Therefore, the board agreed with me that the doctorate should be awarded.
Therefore, let me congratulate you upon your graduation from my Texas Academic Equivalency Institute. May this credential help you in your life’s goals.
Your Friend,
/s/
David McConnell
P. S. I’m certain that you have questions and concerns concerning my authority to confer such doctorate degrees. Let me put your mind at rest concerning this point. You see I myself have a doctorate from my institute which I conferred upon myself. So you see your degree is entirely within the current practice of restricting such conferrals to those already possessing the doctorate. Since every rule has an exception. I was able to submit myself as the single exception.
Cc: Registrar, Texas Academic Equivalency Institute
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