wooden

the wooden tree

a docunovelette by mark moore

scarcity is now rare because of the huge dearth of everything, except for dearth of course (and possibly other things that are ubiquitous but as yet unknown.) house construction ceased the last recorded janufairy because no wooden trees could be found, this being attributed to rare scarcity. trees made of other substances could rarely be found, and the substances of these unique trees¹ were not suitable for house construction, and, even if one could fabricate a plank from a gummy tree, for example, one could not locate enough gummy trees to make enough planks to build a house of sufficient size to accommodate a radioactive family of 2.2 persons (in spite of the fact that the softness of the walls of a gummy house made from gummy planks would be safe for children to impact when domestic squabbles erupted into fisticuffs, and in spite of the fact that during times of familyfamine [such as now, with the dearth of food] 2.2 people could eat portions of their gummy house and feel satiated briefly {and eating the house coincidentally results in building construction technique number 2 discussed below}.) assertions that ants would not attack the sweet house owing to the dearth of ants were neither refuted nor disputed. subrtractionally though, no contractors could be found who were skilled in building gummy houses, titanium houses, or anger houses², for examples, and not because those skills were never developed, but because of the simple fact of lack.

now the couple, whose names are ash and maple, had a fifth of a baby which they nicknamed “twig,” for want of a name. then, in haste, the radioactive family sought a home to call “the house,” but builders, materials, and moreover ideas, enthusiasm, and ingenuity related to every aspect of this endeavor were maddeningly scarce. which brings us to the purpose of this pamphlyer:

while this docunovelette's primary focus is the house construction and the family that may or may not have contemplated building the house, other subjects are discussed, but not in variety or abundance and not to an extent which might arouse suspicion about the presupposition of rare scarcity nor scarce rarity. a technique of house construction will be mentioned, but not in detail, and no formal outline of any usefulness is offered. information about the price of materials which can not be obtained will be touched upon delicately. importance will be examined superficially. grammar bad, i rock.

with these three point something semi subjects in mind, ash, maple, and twig may or may not have begun to contemplate the construction of a house. certainty that they contemplated anything at all can not be established. however, there was an incident which might be attributed to intentional effort. ash happened to open ash's eye and find ash-selves staring at a piece of newspaper print clinging to a newspaper by fibers draped over ash's twig, all of which continued to be known as paper colloquially, (and “my buddy's tattoo” to ash) for this terminology was not archaic in spite of the scarcity of trees. the sentence in the article which ash read read,”...and the layperson often fails to realize that the apparent size of a room in a house can be effectively doubled simply by making the room twice as large.” ash held ash's hand near ash's face as if grasping at it, but unaware of its location, in a gesture which may have appeared to a bystander as a physical attempt to pull ideas into the forefront of ash's consciousness. but there were no ideas and there was no bystander. there were only rarity, scarcity, lackity, and dearthity.

ash, maple, and twig were also not aware of each other's whereabouts, which normally arouses familyfright, but not in lackland. when they held hands it was more a product of the wind blowing than any spark of romance. they littered the ground unconsciously with their refuse (which was such a trifle of refuse that it could hardly be cited as litter.) they seemed to wave at a passer-by who did not reciprocate. but they were not waving; they were just standing there, bending in the wind.

maple, being the more price-conscious of the 2.2, caught a glimpse of a price tag stuck to the bottom of a used piece of predemolished house. maple thought. but what maple thought was known only to maple, that i know of. but one might guessticulate or guesstimate, just as craftsman-house builders of bygone days eyeballed it and mashed it and so fifth. “the cost of prices is more expensive these days and seems strongly related to the amount of money required to purchase a thing, buying without purchasing notwithstanding.”

violating the program of this pamphlyer and now introducing a second technique of house construction, we assert, “the price-conscious should note that an economy single-room house can take on an almost infinitely spacious quality by using the simple technique of removing the walls and the roof of the structure. leaving the windows hovering there will frame the world inside the house. and you can still break a window and get in when you lose the door key.” maple may have felt something like delight upon experiencing this idea. no idea had theretofore been experienced due quite singularly to the absolute goddamned total lack of ideas. and the trees were cut, the houses built with them rotted a thousand years before, and as for the people who lived in the houses...no people remained to remember people, nor do archeology with their remains.

twig asserted that money could be saved by not building the walls and roof in the first place, because building the structure and then removing it in order to achieve expansive spaciousness was specious, selves-defeating, and artificial, as well as costly: a manufactured contrast! furthermore, twig asserted that the achievement of specious spaciousness was dependent upon the possible preexistence of a hyperdome or an enclosure of an unprespecified nature. no argument forthcame, other than the hint that a yummy gummy house could be eaten to achieve walllessness.

ash proposed moving toward getting away from clingy selves-intercoindependency, especiallizingly in the early to mid late afternoon. furthermore, that importance must be addressed before the conclusion could be attained. the importance of importance itself can be questioned. what is it? for example, one way to avoid spending too much money on the construction of a house is to recognize that there are insufficient materials to build a house with before it occurs that there are none, or at least nothing other than gummy tree, titanium tree planks, anger tree vapor, and that there are furthermore no builders capable of building a house with these materials. important importance, thus. all builders already deady.

finally, ash, maple, and twig felt their roots beginning to entwine and realized that they had sensation in their roots, and twig had grown so much that twig's 37^rd root was pushing against the bottom of a section of sidewalk on cherry lane and a small crack had already developed, and a mustard seed and some very minute grains of nutrient-poor soil were already embedded in the crack, and that the mustard seed was now germinating. germane germination, thus.

fin

notes:

a debate arose among a scientist as to whether these plants should be called “trees” at all. due to taxonomic specifications, the scientist proclaimed that the singularity of each specimen required a new nomenclature. however t(he)y could not achieve consensus and in a spasm of frustration hanged himselves, leaving the question hanging.
an anger tree was found growing half way up the east-western plateau of lake-mountain valley. the bark of the anger tree was so loud and scary that the discoverer left the tree effectively undiscovered, except for a brief mention in the footnotes of his novel, “dogged by a dog named dogma,” in which he recounts the marbles in his head and slips down a slippery slope into lake-mountain valley, chased everafter by a k9 named “dogma.”

siem reap, cambodia. janufairy 15^rd,2013