Steps of woe

1998 saw a new trend started on The Big Breakfast.

Johnny was granted the power to discipline the crew.

Essentially this involved banishing a misbehaving crewmember to the steps of the band stand at the bottom of the front garden. As they left the house to take that long lonely walk down the lawn the rest of the crew would sing the 'steps of woe' chant loudly before simultaneously turning their backs on the ashamed member while shouting 'scum'.

Sadly producer Ed Forsedick put a stop to the ritual feeling it disrupted the show too much. Never mind because we kept a record of the glory days...

Johnny Vaughan (x1)

On October 5th 1998 the crew demanded that he should be banished to the steps for insulting women. He claimed that he had immunity as the show's presenter. He was eventually banished on Xmas Eve for getting a link wrong.

Carpet Monster (x3)

Going over the top when shouting SLEAZE!

Linton (x1)

For undermining a Vital Stat (5/10/98)

Matt (From Dudley) (x3)

For starting his Xmas shopping in the last week of October/First Week of November. He was stepped 3 times during the Xmas Eve Show 1998. (A record for one show.)

Glenn (x3)

Both times for starting a fight. (Often with Carpet Monster) The second time was after Johnny branded him miserable, an insult often reserved for Grant.

John Mack (x1)

For suggesting that Denise should go on the steps of woe when she lied about teaching gorilla's how to talk. Denise had to take over his camera for him.

Jeff Merton(Father of a family of the week) (x1)

For undermining a Stat. This happened on 5th October 98 when 4 people were banished in ten minutes all for undermining a Vital Statistic! They included Ben, Linton, John and Jeff.

Dave (x1)

Johnny regretted sending Dave out as he was scripted to have a conversation with him minutes later.

Ben Sidebottom (x1)

Ben a son of the family of the week from Milton Keynes was banished to the steps with Dr. Fox on October 16th '98 after he insulted Johnny's taste in football

Cable Casual (x1)

For cheating in Vital Statistics however he became the first person ever to be pardoned when it was revealed there was no way he could have cheated because he isn't given a script.

Grant (x1)

For shouting miserable comments during the Meatloaf interview.

Dr. Fox (crew) (x3)

For getting a Stat right - obviously a cheater! The later 'outs' were for not listening to Johnny

Dr. Neil Fox (The radio DJ) (x1)

I honestly can't recall why he was stepped. Can anyone remember why?

Baby Ben (x5)

The record holder and king of scum. He has been sent out for cheating during Vital Statistics and for undermining the Stats.

Marc Warren (x1)

He guested on the show to promote his new TV film Alice Through the looking glass. However once again I can't recall why he was 'stepped' but he did make a number of references to Johnny's mum having 6 toes on each foot thus fully deserved it!

Rough Bird (x2)

The first female ever to be banished to the steps. For some unknown reason she decided to complete an honorary tour all the way around the house before reaching the steps

Meatloaf (x1)

He wasn't 'outed' physically due to his rock god status but the steps of woe chant was shouted at him when he cheated on Vital Statistics.

Andy Halligan (x1)

The first stepping of the millennium (03/00) and the first stepping in almost a year was for being god awful at a quiz to prove he was the shows biggest fan

Log (x2)

For undermining Vital stats

Simon Fielder (x1)

Has the double-honour of being the last person ever to be outed and to be the only person outed by someone other than Vaughany. The event took place on Monday 30th October 2000 when he failed to predict the violent gales and rainfall that flooded the BB house. Richard Bacon banished him to the bottom of the flooded garden claiming he was meant to be the cream of the crop.