The first type of chill out is for those students who have developed enough self awareness to be able to stop and recognise that they are feeling a little frustrated or unsettled. They know that if they continue in this state they would either do or say something that will result in the RTP questions being asked, or they may simply erupt.

This is our goal with all of our students as they develop insight into themselves and what triggers them.

For students who are able to identify that they need a chill out, they can ask the teacher/parent and then they take themselves to the RTC Lounge. Our question to these students are:

1. do you need to talk to someone? If they do we can arrange a phone call or hang out session

2. if they don't we ask - do you need 3 minutes or 5 minutes? And then we set a timer

When the timer goes off, the student returns to class.

Some students are not self aware enough to recognise that their behaviour is escalating. Teachers and parents who know their students well will see the signs that the student is not settled and may ask them 'do you need a chill out?' The student may say no, in which case the adult can then ask a follow up question 'how do you think that would work out for you?' or be directive, 'please go for a chill out'.

These students may require a bit longer to settle the thoughts and energy levels; they may also require some support to notice what is occurring in their bodies such as - talking rapidly, fast movements, pacing, tapping, loud laughing, cutting off other people's sentences etc

Our question to these students are:

1. do you need to talk to someone? If they do we can arrange a phone call or hang out session

2. if they don't we ask - do you need 5 minutes or 510 minutes? And then we set a timer

When the timer goes off, the student returns to class.

Sometimes the student and the parent/teacher does not catch the explosion in time. When a student triggers into a melt down this means that their brain has engaged in the Fight, Flight, Fright response. Students may become argumentative, leave class without permission or just stop talking altogether. Often we observe tantrums or silent tantrums (completely shut down and non-communicative).

When a student is in this stage we require them to move into the RTC Lounge Room (or the equivalent space at home), however, we do not attempt to engage them in a chat.

When they are in that space we will offer some choices to assist the student to regain their sense of control

• would you like a drink of water? in a blue cup or red cup?

• would you like the air con on or the window open?

• would you like the door open or closed?

Next, we leave the room and give the student some space. In about 5 minutes we will pop our heads into the room briefly and ask:

• would you like to talk to me now or get me when you are ready? (usually they will need some more time)

Then, we return to what we were doing...

When a student is escalated it can take from 20 minutes to even an hour for them to regain control of their cognitive and emotional faculties. Every 5-10 minutes we check back in. In many cases the student will come and get us when they are ready, in other situations when we pop back in we will observe that the student is starting to regulate themselves and is ready to talk. This is when we engage.

NOTE: when a child or adult is escalated there is no point trying to reason with them. Their brains are in survival mode and all of their adrenaline and cortisol are being pumped into the lymbic system triggering the fight, flight, freeze response. It is only once the brain starts to recalibrate and send information to the prefrontal cortex again that the child or adult will be ready to communicate and strategise effectively. This is also why reward or punishment, which triggers a fear response, most often result in tantrums and take the most significant amount of time to calm down (especially if the child has fixated on the reward the will no longer be getting).

Children learn by mirroring the behaviour and emotions of others. If you notice that you are becoming escalated, frustrated or even distracted then it is likely that your child is as well. A great strategy is for you to move yourself into a chill out area and leave your child to keep doing their work. Helping everyone stay calm and focused starts with what we are role modelling. The question we always ask the students and also we ask ourselves is fun/no fun?