Read Psalm 139 13-16

Read P13 student handbook

The question of who we are is significantly bound up with whose we are. Most people struggle with working out who they are; their identity. There are lots of reasons why people today suffer from an identity crisis. Here's a few of them:

1. Self-obsession. Ours is the age of self-love. Fulfillment in life is wrongly thought to be found in living for yourself. But in our vain attempt to find ourselves through self-love and self-indulgence, we have actually lost ourselves.

2. Pragmatism. What people seem to care about is no longer “what’s true” but rather, “what works”. Trying to find out what is true, and what is right, are no longer important aims for many.

3. Consumerism. Consumerism, or a focus on 'getting things', has at least 3 defining features.

a. It is obsessed with our rights (“Getting what I deserve”)

b. It exerts our choices (“I want more variety and options”)

c. It enlarges our wants (“I must have this”).

But getting everything we ever wanted does not satisfy our appetites, it merely increases them.

What’s the way ahead?

Remember whose we are

How great is the love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are! The reason the world does not know us is that it did not know him. Dear friends, now we are children of God, and what we will be has not yet been made known. But we know that when he appears, we shall be like him, for we shall see him as he is. (1 John 3:1-2)

1. Remember your true identity. You are a child of God. You belong to Him. It is not self-love that defines us, but God’s love. And the more we draw closer to God and His love, the clearer our identity becomes.

2. Remember the truth. This truth is true and it really works too. The truth of God’s love is the most precious commodity in the world.

3. Remember others. Our identity leads us to love others with a sacrificial love that puts other's rights before our own, focuses our attention on the good of others, and is prepared to give up our needs and wants to meet other person’s needs and wants.

So, if you are struggling with your identity (and even if you are not), remember whose you are; you are God’s child.

Reflection – write down your most ‘valuable’ possession (perhaps something you’ve worked hard for or a family heirloom). Consider and write down how you take care of it. For example a new car – you keep it clean, change the oil, make sure it is safe. Do you have the same value for yourself? How do you take care of yourself? Write down how you can honor your own value today. Consider how you value others. How do you show that same respect to others?

Reflect on how you take care of yourself - Do you have positive thoughts about yourself (your body, your skills and gifts)? Do you take care of yourself by doing the things that you love and make you happy (like hobbies)? Do you talk to someone when you are feeling sad or concerned about something? Write down some of your ideas and reflect on how you can improve on your self care.

What have you learnt about your own value today?

Read P19 of student journal

Activity – take a piece of paper and turn it to face landscape. In the centre draw your signature (or just your name if you don’t have a signature) in large letters. Be as creative as you want. Remember no signature is the same. Each person is unique and individual – just the way God intended you to be! Your signature represents your style, personality, culture, heart and passion. From your signature, draw lines out to each of the following questions and write down your answers. This is about discovering your uniqueness, so consider how the things that you do, who you are and how you act, represent this.

Reflection:

Q. How does my appearance show my uniqueness?

Q. How does my heritage and culture show my uniqueness?

Q. How does my personality and character show my uniqueness?

Q. How does my personal written signature show my uniqueness?

EMBRACE means to accept and love who you are

CELEBRATE means to enjoy the differences people have to offer

Comparison is a real issue that many, if not all, of us face. We begin to compare ourselves to others when we feel inadequate or insecure about who we truly are. Our individuality carries great worth, and because of this we don’t need to compare, change or modify who we are to fit the mold of someone else.

Reflection:

Q. What do you compare yourself to? What is unhealthy comparison?

Q. What is the difference between comparison and being inspired by someone?

Q. Who is someone you look up to or are inspired by? Why?

Body image is a real issue and it affects us all. Some risk factors are:

· Body image starts developing in early childhood and is more intensely shaped in late childhood and adolescents (typically earlier for females than males). However, it can occur in any age.

· Typically females are affected more than males but this doesn’t mean that males aren’t also greatly affected.

· People with low self-esteem or other mental health problems, such as anxiety or depression, are typically at higher risk

· People with perfectionist tendencies, high achievers, ‘black and white’ thinkers and those who frequently compare themselves to others are at higher risk of feeling dissatisfied with their body or appearance

· People who are teased about their appearance and weight, regardless of actual body type, have an increased risk of developing body dissatisfaction

· Regardless of their actual body type or weight, individuals who are exposed to role models who demonstrate unhealthy attitudes and behaviours in relation to body image, eating and exercise are at greater risk of developing body dissatisfaction

Boosting body image:

Creating body satisfaction, acceptance, self-confidence, self-love, or even body neutrality will look and feel different for everyone.

· Limit your exposure to highly stylized and flawless images of fitness, beauty and appearance – choose who you follow on Instagram! Choose to follow people who inspire you

· Learn to value yourself as an individual – your many talents, strengths and attributes. Celebrate who you are as an individual

· Create strong and affirming positive statements – change your thinking from ‘I am not enough’ to I am worthy, my body is great, I am more than just my body. Rewire your thinking

· Practice body gratitude – I am healthy

· Look after yourself – eat well and exercise to feel healthy

· Be realistic – no one feels great about their body all of the time.

Body image issues can impact on your mental and physical health:

· It’s normal to have moments where you may feel dissatisfied, unhappy or uncomfortable in your own body. But if you find these feelings increasing or intensifying, a more serious issue may be developing; and you may become more at risk of engaging in unhealthy and unhelpful behaviours around food, exercise and supplements — all of which can impact on your mental and physical health.

I think we can all agree that we compare ourselves to others sometimes. Or look at ourselves in the mirror and don’t see our ‘true’ selves. By this I mean we start to pick out things we don’t like about ourselves and then the lies begin –you’re not pretty enough, not smart enough…these are all lies that we have told ourselves at some stage. And the more we focus on negative thoughts, the more we spiral down. Am I right? So how do we turn these lies around, and instead focus on the truth?

When we begin to be grateful we change the wiring in our brain which in turn changes our view of ourselves and the world and negative thoughts to positive thoughts. It’s hard work to begin with but the more you do it the easier it gets!

Activity - think of one thing you can be grateful for today and write it down. This is something that you can do every day before you start your day and watch your outlook on life change!

"Body and Soul I am wonderfully made"

Read Deuteronomy 30:15-20

Read 25 and 26 of student journal

Reflection:

Q. Do we truly value and appreciate our bodies?

Q. If our bodies are valuable to us, how should we look after them?

Read P87 and 88 (section on Body facts only) of Facilitator handbook

Consider:

Our body is the main vessel that allows us to function. When we are sick, it restricts our ability to do everyday things. We realise how much we need our body when we are limited in what we can do. When we are healthy, we feel like we can do anything. Our body enables us to do the things we love doing; having fun, enjoying the company of others, studying, travelling, exercising etc. Our body helps us to outwork our dreams and desires.

It is important to keep active for both your body and your mind.

Consider: What is strength?

Read P33 and P34 of student journal

Identifying feelings:

Have you ever been asked ‘how are you’ and your reply was ‘I don’t know?’ Have you ever found yourself crying for no reason? It is important to understand how and why we are feeling this way.

There are four basic feelings each of us has:

FEAR: Fear is a normal emotion. It tells us there may be danger close by. There are times where fear protects us, but there are also times when fear can keep us from moving forward.

HAPPINESS: We enjoy who we are and where we are at when we are happy with life. It’s good to sometimes stop and say out loud ‘I am happy today!’

ANGER: Our anger is normal and a healthy emotion. It becomes unhealthy when it is used to hurt others (verbally, emotionally or physically). There is a big difference between anger and abuse. Anger tells us that there is an issue or a hurt that needs to be resolved. If we hurt others or others hurt us through anger, seek out professionals or a trusted adult who can help – such as a local GP, counsellor or psychologist

SADNESS: It’s okay to cry. It’s natural. It’s not a sign of weakness – in fact, it can express how we are feeling when words cannot. It can also release some pressure or stress that we may be feeling. When we find it hard to stop being sad or when we stop doing things we love, then it is important to seek out professional help to assist us to understand why we are feeling sad all of the time.

Reflection:

It is important to maintain a balance when it comes to our emotions and not live a life controlled by them. Our emotions can become like a roller coaster. If we allow our feelings to get out of balance they can begin to run our lives. In order to keep ourselves balanced we use our emotions to tell us how we are feeling, instead of allowing them to influence our choices in life. Once we identify our feelings, it may be helpful to explore them further by asking yourself:

Q. Why am I feeling like this?

Q. What has caused these feelings?

Q. What choices do I have?

Q. Do I need to forgive someone?

Q. How can I resolve this?

Q. How long have I felt this way?

Q Can I change how I am feeling?

For example, if you’re feeling angry, ask yourself:

· Why am I angry?

· Where is this coming from?

· What has caused this anger?

· How long has this made me angry?

When we begin to explore our feelings and the reasons behind them, we start to understand our past and our present and look forward to a different future.

STOP, THINK, CHOOSE: We decide how we want to behave. Don’t let your feelings decide for you, but take your feelings into consideration and use them to your advantage

Read P39 of student journal

Reflection: Decision making and problem solving skills

Q. What are typical problems that occur in a young person’s life?

For example - being pushed around, pressure from peers, feeling scared or embarrassed by your peers or adults, hurting yourself or others, failing school, being rejected, feeling alone all of the time. Consider some others.

Secrecy and ‘dobbing’

Q. When should we keep a secret and when shouldn’t we?

(Consider the issues with keeping dangerous secrets when someone we care about may be hurt. It’s not ‘dobbing’ when we are trying to help someone; it is ‘dobbing’ when we are trying to get someone in trouble)

Q. What can we do about problems?

We are able to think and feel at the same time, so take some time to think about it. Talk about it with someone. Ask for help. Research the problem. Don’t just ignore it in the hope that it will go away.

RESPECT – means esteem for or a sense of the worth or excellence of a person; the condition of being esteemed or honoured, to show regard or consideration for.

Respect includes taking someone’s feelings, needs, thoughts, ideas, wishes and preferences into consideration. It means taking all of these seriously and giving them worth and value. It includes acknowledging them, listening to them, being truthful with them, and accepting their individuality.

Respect can be shown through behaviour and it can also be felt. We can act in ways which are considered respectful; we can also feel respect for someone and feel respected by someone. Because it is possible to act in ways that do not reflect how we really feel, the feeling of respect is more important than the behavior without the feeling. When the feeling is there, the behavior will naturally follow.

Consider:

Q. How can we respect ourselves?

Q. What does respect look like for you?

Q. What are practical ways you can show respect to your fellow students and teachers?

Read P51 student handbook

It’s wrong to be pressured into making choices that don’t fit our own values. Practise saying ‘no,’ standing out or not following the crowd. You are not weak if you walk away; that takes strength. As you practice, the more comfortable you will become.

Think about what some of the peer pressure situations you could encounter are, and plan how you will handle them in advance.

We all have the choice to either ACT or REACT to our situations.

Read Jeremiah 29: 11

Read P 57 Student handbook

Reflection:

Q. How can you increase your resilience?

Here are some ideas:

• Healthy relationships

• Participation

• Communication (someone to talk to)

• Overcoming problems, not giving up

• Standing up for what you believe

• Taking healthy risks

• Facing rejection or setbacks and trying again

• Not taking things personally

• Learning from your failures

• Getting information to understand what you’re facing

• Adapting to new situations easily

• Being honest about your fears

• Figuring out who you are and what you want out of life, and not giving up on it

• Persevering no matter what

• Spending time with people who handle stress well

Q. What can make it harder to overcome?

• Isolation

• Negativity

• Boredom

• Indifference

Start believing in what you can offer!

Personal reflection: Write down a list of positive achievements you have accomplished and a list of difficult experiences you have overcome or survived. Keep this list somewhere safe for you to reflect on and to help you stay motivated when facing difficult situations. Remember: If and when you face challenges in your life, it is important to talk about it with someone you trust. We can't do life alone. We need each other!

Read P 140 , P141 & P142 of facilitator handbook

Activity: Walking tall

Step 1: Wherever you are stand up in your spot. Breathe in deeply through your nose until you feel your stomach and diaphragm swell. Now slowly contract your stomach from your pelvis to your rib cage and breathe slowly out through your mouth.

Step 2: Hold your shoulders back, tighten your bottom and straighten your back. Now look straight ahead at eye level so that your head is evenly poised above the spine and is at a right angle position to your neck.

Step 3: Pretend that you are on a runway, and with your shoulders back and looking straight ahead, walk to the end of the walkway. When you get to the end look out at the audience and declare 'my potential is limitless.' Now listen for the cheers as the crowd applauds you and calls out your name. As you do this, imagine that you are walking towards your dreams.

By doing something different, we are learning more about us - our limits and our capabilities. We are expanding our capacity to meet challenges head on.

"Your potential is really up to you. It doesn't matter what others might think. It doesn't even matter what you might have believed about yourself at a previous time in your life. It's about what lies within you and whether you can bring it out" John C Maxwell

Reflection:

Q. What do you believe about yourself?

Activity: Planting a seed (if you don't have the materials for this you may wish to draw a picture of a seedling in a cup or visualise it in your head)

Step 1: Take a paper cup and fill it with potting mix and place a seed inside the soil, about 3cm deep. Now water the soil.

Step 2: Hold your cup in your hands. Even though you can't see the seed, it is planted inside your cup. Often in life, if we can't see our potential, we consequently overlook it - 'there is no seed in here,' ' I have no potential.' Just because we can't see the seed doesn't mean it isn't within us and isn't growing. We need to believe in our potential!

Consider: a tiny apple seed. This seed has the potential to be an orchard. A seed produces an apple tree, which produces apples, which produces more seeds. These seeds produce more apple trees, apples and seeds. The growth is ongoing. Seeds have so much potential. Our purpose cannot grow unless we first recognise we have seeds of potential within us. Everything we need to live the life we want is already planted inside us.

Q. How do we look after our seeds of greatness?

• We nurture the seeds by valuing ourselves

• Create the right environment to bring forth the life we want - surround ourselves with healthy relationships, positive role models, and encouraging people

• Being positive and believing in potential

• Giving ourselves opportunity to develop and try new things

• Keeping our health in balance - physically, emotionally, mentally, spiritually

• We can live our life as a garden. What grows is what we plant, and what we let others plant in it. We can choose what seeds we plant in our own garden. Seeds can be skills, knowledge, experiences, thoughts and ideas

CONFIDENCE - means full trust: belief in the trustworthiness or reliability of a person or thing, boldness, self-assurance and poise.

Consider: Confidence comes from embracing who we are. To live in our full potential sometimes requires us to step out of our comfort zone and do new things. How confident we grow is our choice. A key to living in our potential is choosing to believe in ourselves and be confident. To get something we don't have, sometimes we need to do something we haven't done before.

Q. Where is our confidence found?

Q. Are we born with it?

Q. What are some things that can hinder you from growing in your potential?

Q. Is there something standing in your way from moving towards growing the seed that is within you?

Activity: Write that obstacle on a piece of paper. Now close your eyes and think about achieving your potential and envision yourself moving toward growing that seed. Don't allow any negative thoughts to come in and distract you from achieving that potential.

After you have seen yourself achieving that potential and nurturing that seed of greatness, take that piece of paper, crumple it up and walk confidently down the walkway and throw it in the bin. You can even declare 'my potential is limitless' again if you wish!

"When you find purpose, you find passion. And when you find passion, it energises your talent so that you can achieve excellence" John C Maxwell

Read P75 Student handbook

Consider: What is your heart song?

The world we live in can try to label us, put titles on us and make us try and fit into a certain box, telling us 'This is the way to be significant, popular or successful.' In the movie Happy Feet, young Mumble's song was not singing, but tap dancing. This is what he was born to do, yet his behaviour was 'un-penguin' like. We all have a song to sing. We all have a message over our life, a reason for existence, and a purpose to our life.

What melody does your heart sing? What flows naturally from your life?

By being true to ourselves, we can find our heart song and use it to create a difference in the world. In turn, others have the choice to do the same.

Discovering our purpose is challenging on its own and can get harder when family and friends have expectations of us. Our desires and dreams may be different to what they want. As we journey through life it is important to find out what is right for us and the life that we want, while still honouring our family.

Part of our journey into becoming a woman is discovering how to balance honouring our families, as well as ourselves, and our own personal journey that is unique to each of us!

Consider:

Q. What does honouring yourself look like for you?

Q. How can we honour our parents but still stay on course to reach our dreams?

Q. How do our parents feel when we show them respect?

Q. How would you like to be shown respect?

Read; Dr Martin Luther King speech

Activity: Dream Collage . For this activity you will need a blank sheet of paper and anything else that you wish to add to your collage. You may want to draw or write with coloured pens, or cut out pictures and photos to paste on to the paper. Begin by answering the questions in the link and add any decorations once you have finished. This activity is about expressing your dreams and desires for your future. This is your chance to dream big about your future. It is a visual representation of your hopes and dreams and will help to inspire, strengthen and encourage you in your personal journey of purpose and significance.

Consider:

Q. If money, time, place, ability, education and confidence were not an issue, what would you do with your life? If you knew you could not fail, what would you do?

Watch out for Dream Stealers : fear, self-doubt, negative comments, bad circumstances, lack of confidence, drugs or alcohol, distraction, bullying, peer pressure, believing that other things are more important than you!

A teacup story