Guiding People Through Conflict | Ken Sande Relational Wisdom 360

This eBook is based on Ken Sande’s book, The Peacemaker: A Biblical Guide to Resolving Personal Conflict (Baker Books, 3rd Ed. 2004).

The five short stories in this booklet describe actual conflicts that were so serious that they threatened to divide churches or result in lawsuits between fellow Christians. These conflicts involved ordinary matters of daily life: problems with an employer, a disagreement over how to educate children, a fight over a parent’s estate, the refusal to pay for work done by a fellow church member, and doctrinal differences regarding Sunday school materials.

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Conflict-A Constant Opportunity | Todd Wagner, Watermark Community Church

When relationships exist conflict is inevitable, but the way we face it is up to us. This series calls us to abandon the approaches most of us take - withdrawal, avoidance, aggression to name just three - and consider the approach God has laid out in His Word. You'll find that working through conflict from God's perspective will actually be a source of constant opportunity instead of a constant source of discouragement and frustration. An opportunity to glorify God, serve others and grow to be more like Christ. You'll be amazed to see how honest God's Word is about conflict and how powerful His plan is to deal with it. And if you'll apply it, you'll be even more amazed to watch this plan bring healing and health to your relationships. WATCH SERMON SERIES

Conflict Field Guide document

Peace Pursuit | John and Laura Shindeldecker & Janeen Davis PsyD, MFT

Are you a "conflict avoider"?

Many people who say they avoid conflict actually avoid conflict resolution.

Of course, it’s wise to avoid causing conflicts, if you can. The problem is, too many people avoid resolving conflicts.

If you find yourself avoiding your responsibility to fill an appropriate role in resolving a conflict, the Peace Pursuit Quick Start Guide can help you. It gives you clear steps to resolve the great majority of the conflicts you will face in life.

(It does urge you to avoid one thing, though: gossip.)

Peace Pursuit Quick Guide

Sinned Against | Paul Tripp

When was the last time someone sinned against you? It can be a harsh and perplexing reality, but in his divine wisdom, God has chosen to keep us in a world populated with flawed individuals. There's no covenant promise that includes an exemption clause from being sinned against. In fact, Jesus predicted just the opposite! (See Matthew 18:15, Luke 17:4, and John 16:33) KEEP READING

Seven Steps to Conflict Resolution | Peter Krol

I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. These dear friends had labored with us in Bible study, outreach, prayer, and church planting. They had financially supported our collegiate ministry for years, and they had commended our work to others. And now this couple was maligning us with accusations not based in fact—at least insofar as I understood the facts—and picked up from people they had recently met. We never had a chance to defend ourselves.

Things escalated, and people chose sides. A few tried unsuccessfully to mediate the conflict. In the eyes of the primary couple, everything we did was now tainted with suspicion. In our eyes, they couldn’t do much that was right, either. My heart knew little but fear, anger, and self-justifying self-protection. KEEP READING

Reconciled by a Baby Moose | Ken Sande

After two fruitless mediation sessions, Dave and Don were still miles apart and more bitter than ever. Best friends since high school, Don had hired Dave to manage his construction crews. Working long hours together, they built a highly successful company. But then a series of management disagreements escalated into a heated argument that resulted in Don shouting, “You’re fired!" Dave stormed out the building and filed a wrongful discharge lawsuit the next day. A few months later, they were both sitting in my office, hoping I could mediate a settlement that would prevent a prolonged lawsuit. But their hearts were so hardened against each other that they rejected every solution I suggested. KEEP READING

Conflict Resolution | Chuck Lewis of Barnabas International

Some specific suggestions for resolving conflicts

• Deal with conflicts quickly; balance quickness with some preparation in prayer and thought. Eph. 4:26

• Use ‘I’ statements. Own your own feelings. Avoid hiding attacks within ‘I’ statements.

• Talk about behavior, not character. Avoid attacks on the partner's character. Prov. 11:2

• Check out your perceptions about motives and actions. Don't assume you know another person's motives, much less condemn them. Job 4:8 KEEP READING

Conflict is an Opportunity for Grace | David Mathis of Desiring God

One reason that avoiding conflict is such a problem is precisely because it worsens with negligence. It doesn’t just go away.

But another reason is that it cuts us off from the most significant opportunities for grace. This is the way God does his deepest work in a world like ours. Not when things are peachy keen, not when all seems right with the world, not when times are easy. It’s the toughest times, the hardest conversations, the most painful relational tensions, when the light of his grace shines brightest, and transforms us most into his Son’s likeness.

• KEEP READING