Thirteen Ways to do Furlough "Good Enough"
by Ashley M.
Who doesn’t dream about becoming a missionary…working for God and getting lots of time off? That’s what it’s all about, right? Ask any teacher if it feels like they get two months of vacation a year. Well, it’s sort of the same for missionaries, especially those who are bound to a North American school system and choose to furlough in the summer. If there is one thing I have learned, after 8 summers in America, your furlough is not for you! This is not entirely true, but it is true that other people…family, supporters, your mission organization will have expectations of you and your time. Time, and how you spend it, will likely be the biggest question and possible contention of your home assignment. Summers for me aren’t “restful” but they can be very energizing and fun.
So, how can you have your cake and eat it too while on furlough?
1. Communication will be key. Discuss how time will be spent with your spouse, kids who are old enough to have input, and/or trusted accountability partners. I highly recommend getting one’s family in agreement before you open up the conversation to extended family and others.
2. Put it on paper - Defense is the best offense when it comes to time. Block out those things that you have prioritized as a family or things that must get done. This can also include non-negotiable “fun” things like summer camp, family vacation and team retreat, but it will also include some “work”, like home church visits, speaking engagements, supporter appointments and wellness check-ups. The lines between work and
fun are also not black and white, but gather dates as early as possible and put them on a master calendar.
3. Share your calendar with family and friends before you arrive. They will be much more understanding of your commitments and less offended when you can’t spend every second with them.
4. Lower you own expectations and the expectations of everyone who might play a part in your summer. This goes back to number 3.
5. Some are more extroverted than others, but we all need community. Whether it’s larger group gatherings or one-on-one meetings, focus on the types of people interactions that energize you rather than deplete you.
6. Let others come to you. When you feel like people are grappling for your attention and you can’t make it around to see everyone, organize a gathering where they come to you. If they can’t make it, then you get credit for trying and you don’t have to travel as much.
7. Bring some small token gift for your supporters and their kids from your host country. Yes, American’s already have it all and have seen it all. I found Kenyan soapstone in TJ Maxx one year and it was cheaper than I can buy it in Kenya! So, don’t stress about it, but people do love the thought and appreciation. Hand written notes (on host country stationary) after support appointments are also very appreciated.
8. Give yourself some grace. Expect that you won’t do everything you want to do. Some cultures say you should always leave something undiscovered when you visit a place so that you will return. Think that way in reverse about your home assignment. Every year I have things that just slip through the cracks and it’s ok.
9. Expect that you won’t connect with all of the people you want to. Some- times it’s simply a scheduling thing, other times the relationship just isn’t what it once was. It is ok to be saddened by that. Pray in advance that God’s grace will cover all your rela- tionships and appointments.
10. Think through where you will stay. Staying with family and friends is great, but it can be stressful too. If you have options consider moving around at some point so that you don’t overstay your welcome. Remember that communication is key, so have a meet- ing with your hosts ahead of time to discuss some expectations (even if it is your family or best friend). Life is totally different when you are staying with someone! Do try to get some time alone as a family, however you can.
11. Budget for some serious shopping with your spouse ahead of time so that you are both on the same page. Consider making a list of wants and needs before you leave your host country and set some budget categories with limits for each. And as you are shopping, be thinking about what you will be able to carry back on the plane!
12. Remember that kids who have spent substantial time outside of America will be over-stimulated and unprepared for many experiences. The more details you can give them to help prepare them for what’s “up next”, the better.
13. Keep some room in your schedule for spontaneity. You never know what surprises God has in store for you!
