Satire Submissions

In the very unexpected display of heroism online, 16-year-old Kimora Seales-Griffith supposedly “saves the world” by posting and just using a single hashtag.

At Adorables Only, we believe every fluffy, photogenic creature deserves a fighting chance, especially the ones that look good on calendars, tote bags, and social media feeds.

Officials have come out with a recent report regarding the growing number of schizophrenics who are beginning to make disturbingly coherent points.

In what experts are calling “the most relatable breakdown of the 21st century,” a popular artificial intelligence chatbot reportedly took a mental health day Thursday after composing over 300 college essays, 47 breakup texts, and one deeply emotional love letter addressed to itself.

The economic crisis we are experiencing in the United States is irrelevant to one specific group: the Disney Adults. Despite inflation, debt, and the rising cost of living, they somehow always have the money to spend on park tickets and Mickey-shaped pretzels. 

“No, you know what? I don’t need your apologies. In fact, I don’t want them. I’m sick of being made out to be the bad guy around here. You guys think I like having to always lay down the law and be the ‘fun killer’? Well, I don’t, but it’s what I get paid to do, so all I’m asking is that you respect that and do what you get paid to do.”

For some people, high-school sports are just one of the many stepping stones in a further career in sports, and for others, high school sports are the peak of athletic achievement that could never be reached by any other accomplishment. No matter which way you play high school sports, they will be a big part of making you into the person you become later in life.

As Gen Z strays further away from traditional morals, they have now taken to social media to spread their plans to overthrow the government. Experts believe this may be the influence of what Gen Z is labelling as “the demons.”