Welcome to the Doldrums

Leave your shoes at the door

You may leave when the time comes

But now, you’re ours to score

Embrace the chill down your back,

It’s there to greet you

In the corner’s ol’ Jack

Don’t ask what he’s been through

Some stay for a short while

Others like to move in

If this seems like your style,

The madness will soon begin

Look down this corridor

The gloom may make you bawl

Oh, dining halls galore!

Where they feast on alcohol

Over there, the sharp blades

It just may ease the pain

The scale’s been here for decades

In case you fear weight gain

In one room down East Wing

The oxygen comes in spots

To suffocate on something

Other than your own thoughts

Where’re you running off to?

The door’s dissolved into foam

We hope you enjoy feeling blue

The Doldrums welcome you home