After A Lesson Before Dying by Ernest Gaines

I woke up to the sound of church bells ringing. I forced myself out of bed and kissed Vivian on the cheek before heading to the kitchen to make coffee. As I finished the coffee, Vivian walked in with a grave smile on her face. Everyone knew what day it was. It was Sunday, but not just any Sunday. It was the anniversary of Jefferson’s death.

The children were with their father in Baton Rouge and wouldn’t be returning until the afternoon, so Vivan and I had the morning to ourselves. After finishing our coffee, we got ourselves ready and walked up the quarter towards the church along with Tante Lou. We took our regular seats in the front of the church and waited for the service to begin. I looked around at all the people that had filed in and I began to tear up. I hadn’t seen the church this full since Jefferson’s funeral.

Reverend Ambrose began his sermon and looked at me as he said, “God works in mysterious ways.”

I smiled back at him and listened to him continue preaching. I hung onto every word he said. The service ended with the congregation singing Miss Emma’s determination song. She had passed away about a month and a half after Jefferson, but today was to celebrate the memory of both her and Jefferson.

“Y’all should come over to my place for some coffee and cake,” Tante Lou said as we walked out of the church.

“I’m gonna go for a walk,” I replied.

“Do you want some company?” Vivian asked.

“No. You go on with my aunt and I’ll catch up with you.” I encouraged her. I continued walking as Vivian and my aunt walked up the stairs that led to my aunt’s house. I kept walking until I reached the tree by Henri Pichot’s house and sat down. I grabbed the notebook from my back pocket and just held it. I don’t know why, but it comforted me. I had been there for about an hour when I heard a voice behind me.

“Vivan told me I might find you here,” said the voice. It was Paul.

“How you doing?” I asked as I got up and shook his hand.

“As good as I can be,” he replied. We started walking back to Tante Lou’s house. Paul looked down at my hands and saw me clutching the notebook.

“You read it often?” he asked.

“Yeah. Yeah I do.” I looked at him as a sad smile crossed my face. We reached Tante Lou’s house and walked through the door. I was greeted with my stepchildren running towards me as fast as they could.

“Hey Grant!” Said Vivian’s oldest child, Judith, as we collided and I pulled her into a bear hug. She had just turned six. Her siblings, David and Susan, were right behind her. I hugged all of them before heading towards Vivan and giving her a kiss. Inez and Reverend Ambrose were there too, and Paul, and I greeted them as well. Paul then made his way to his girlfriend, Carol.

Everyone except for the children followed me into the living room and we all sat down and talked. We talked about sad things and happy things. We talked about the past and the future. We talked about all the changes that the past year had brought. We laughed and we cried. I was still holding onto the notebook.

One by one our guests slowly started to leave. First it was Reverend Ambrose and then Inez and last, but not least, Paul and Carol. I walked out with Paul to his car as Carol finished saying her goodbye’s to Tante Lou and Vivian.

“You know it’s funny how bad events can change people for the better and give them hope. That’s what Jefferson taught me,” Paul said, looking at the sky as the sun set.

“I know what you mean,” I replied. “I wanted to leave this place so bad for so long, but for some reason he made me want to stay. He made me realize who and what I had and how much I had to be grateful for.”

“Are you ready?” Carol asked as she appeared in the doorway.

“Yep,” Paul replied as he held out his hand for me to shake. I took his hand and gave him a slight nod and smiled.

I watched as they drove away and looked at the sunset for a few minutes before making my way back inside. Vivian and Tante Lou were finishing up with cleaning the dishes and the children were slowly falling asleep on the couch. I smiled as I watched Vivian and eventually offered my help. Before waking up the children and walking home, Vivian and I said goodbye to Tante Lou. Vivian swooped up Susan in her arms while I picked up David and led Judith towards the door.

After arriving home and putting the children to bed, I decided to sit on the couch and finally get at least some of my work done. I had just finished grading a test when Vivian came in.

“You okay?” she asked. “I know this was kind of a rough day for you. Remembering Jefferson and all.”

“I’m fine,” I replied and looked at the notebook that I had set on the table in front of me. Vivian sat down next to me and followed my eyes towards the notebook.

“Well I’m going to bed. Goodnight,” she said as she kissed me and walked towards our room.

I finished all of my work by midnight. I was about to go to bed when I noticed the notebook again. I picked it up and began to read it. He had only written a few pages, so it didn’t take long to read, but I analyzed it and took my time reading it as I always do. Time passed quickly and it was two in the morning when I finished. I closed the notebook and just sat there. I was crying.