National Adoption Month

By Alectra Rose

Each year, November is recognized as National Adoption Awareness Month. While all adoption-related issues are important, the particular focus of this month is the adoption of children currently in foster care. While some may think adoption is good, others would disagree. So in this article, we will talk about people's opinions on why it's good, along with those who think it’s bad. 

Each year, many children join families through adoption and foster care. Adoption itself is a good thing. Adoption places those needing a family into families and hopefully finds them a forever home. Adoption gives them a place to call their own, a place of belonging, and a place of peace. Another good thing about adoption is that it fosters and grows community. Most times, adoption weaves together two previously unrelated lives to create a completely new tapestry. Where there is openness in adoption, a beautiful, sacred relationship forms. The child you bring into your home then goes out into the community and makes friends and connections themselves, bringing about a circle of love and balance to your new family dynamic.

At first glance, it might be easy to ask, where is the bad? Can there be bad in adoption? To be realistic, yes. There are times when adoption can be a bad thing. Let’s talk about a few of them. Particularly when adopting older kids, things might not jive right away. You’ve not grown together over the years, and you have to learn about each other. You better believe that there will be frustration and pushback. It is easy to read an adoption profile and think, “I can handle that” when in reality, some behaviors are far more severe than you realize or are far harder to manage than you thought. Sometimes, children don’t take to their adoption the way we thought they would. They can be sad—or angry—and that is hard on a family. The bad news is that almost every adoptive family will, at some point, go through some discouragement. Being aware that adoption will have hard moments is incredibly important. Although having a hard time doesn’t mean you're not trying, it just means you need time, support, help, love, and understanding with one another.

Now that we've talked about some good and some bad. Let's talk about some of the unexpected things in adoption. In adoption, the caregivers have to make sure that you and your home are stable for the children to come live with you. Therefore there are mountains of paperwork. Then there are the interviews and home inspections. Mind you none of it is cheap and all of it takes time. When you are waiting to adopt, the six to twelve months that it takes to get approved seems like forever. Mind you that’s just the beginning of the journey. Another thing that comes very unexpectedly is the guilt that some families may have. When you adopt you're getting someone new for your family, but you're also taking someone away from their family. When you think about it that can affect the mindset that you set up going in to adopt. 

Now, although adopting can be hard work with good, bad, and unexpected times. In the end, people still say it is worth it.